Here's another one for our "You couldn't make this stuff up" file. The Bloomington (IN) Herald-Times reports that there will be no more Good Friday and Columbus Day holidays in Bloomington, Indiana. Really. The holy day and holiday in question will henceforth be known as "Spring Holiday" and "Fall Holiday".
Why? Because the new super-politically correct names will help make the holidays more inclusive, according to Bloomington Mayor John Hamilton. (Mayor Hamilton is unrelated to Alexander Hamilton, the subject of the eponymous Broadway musical, which also happens to be very PC.) Mayor Hamilton sent a memo to city employees this week in which he explained that the centuries-old names imply cultural insensitivity. The new names will avoid even the remotest possibility of giving offence to anyone except Christians and Italian-Americans.
In his memo, Mayor Hamilton raised to new heights the bar for "celebrating diversity" ["pandering", surely. Ed.]. "We are terrifically proud of our diverse workforce at the city," Hizzoner wrote. "That diversity makes us stronger and more representative of the public we proudly serve. These updated names for two days of well-merited time off is another way we can demonstrate our commitment to inclusivity."
Mr Hamilton's unilateral decision to rename the days will be no surprise to residents of Bloomington. Thanks to the presence in the city of that great seat of liberal learning, Indiana University, Bloomington and surrounding Monroe County are overwhelmingly populated by guilt-ridden white liberals. The county gave Hellery Clinton 58.6% the vote on November 8th, preferring her to President-elect Trump [Walt loves that phrase! Ed.] by nearly 14,000 votes.
Book recommendation: Guilt, by Ann Coulter (Three Rivers Press, 2009). Amongst other things, you can read about all the confused white gliberals who "self-identified" as "oppressed minorities" and all the "hate crimes" that turned out to be hoaxes perpetrated by SJWs.