Saturday, November 26, 2016

Two strange stories about Africans and their undergarments

Walt's man on the Africa desk sent along two (2) stories that appeared on the same day on the (Zimbabwe) NewsDay website. Here they are, with my comments following.

Man jailed for stealing aunt’s undergarments

An 18-year-old Marondera man, who on different occasions stole petticoats and panties belonging to his aunt and gave them to his female neighbour, has been slapped with a four-month jail term. Shelton Muderere will serve an effective two-month jail term after Marondera magistrate Tatenda Makwenya suspended one month on condition of good behaviour, with the other month set aside on condition that he restitutes [sic] $64 to Beauty Jinga some of the missing undergarments.

Makwenya found Muderere guilty of stealing 17 petticoats, two of them belongings to Jinga, before giving the undergarments to his neighbour, Shallet Mutsengi, aged 45. The value of the stole [sic] undergarments was pegged at $94 and only $30 worth of them was [sic] recovered.

According to the State, sometime between May and November this year, Mutsengi instructed Muderere to steal petticoats and panties belonging to the complainant and bring them to her. The matter came to light when Muderere was spotted by one Narietta, while trying to steal some sanitary napkins belonging to the complainant that were on the washing line.

Investigations were carried out and revealed that Muderere had stolen 17 petticoats and two panties and gave them to Mutsengi. Muderere led people to the paddock, where four petticoats were hidden by his alleged accomplice and a report was made to the police, leading to the arrest of the two.

Mutsengi pleaded not guilty to the offence, denying claims by Muderere that she sent him to steal the undergarments. She will return to court on November 28 for continuation of trial.

Walt sez: That's Mr Muderere's story now. But what was he wearing when  he was arrested?!

Man found with hyena nose, tail in his undergarments

A Dete man left people attending Hwange Magistrates’ Court shocked when it was revealed how [sic] he was found in possession of a hyena [pictured. Walt] nose and tail in his undergarments claiming these were charms to protect him from any

Ability Mhlanga, 34, of Mansisiya Village in Tinde, revealed this when he appeared before Hwange regional magistrate, Portia Mhlanga facing charges of illegal possession of fake notes and removing parts of a wild animal.

The State told the court that on November 22 at around 8 PM, Mhlanga, who was at Indlovu Night Club, bought a bottle of Gold Blend brandy and two energy drinks for $10 using a fake $50 note. The barman, Nobert Ngwenya, told Mhlanga to wait for his change before being told by his colleagues that the note was fake. The police were immediately notified and during the search, Mhlanga was found in possession of four $50 notes in his pockets that bore similar serial numbers. [The notes, not the pockets. Walt]

As they continued to search him, they found a skinned nose and tail of a hyena in his undergarments, leading to his arrest. Quizzed about the nose and tail found in his pants, Mhlanga responded, "I was given this by my uncle in Binga when I was a small boy. I was instructed to always have it in my pockets or underpants wherever I go as it was going to protect me from any bad omen that could befall me.

"It used to work for me, but on that day in the bar, I do not know what went wrong because it hadn’t communicated of any danger. My uncle died some few months ago, so I didn’t know that it then stopped working. I beg the courts to forgive me as all these things were given to me by different people."

Mhlanga pleaded not guilty to the offences, arguing that a gold panner, who had hired him as a helper, should be answerable for the fake notes. He also said his late uncle and some of his relatives were answerable for the hyena body parts. He was remanded in custody to December 8 for trial.

Walt sez: I've heard of putting a sock, or maybe a banana, in your Y-fronts as a lucky charm -- something to help you get lucky -- but this is... just... weird.

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