One of the more bizarre sidebars in last night's TV coverage of the Trump Triumph was a report that the Canadian government immigration website had crashed under the weight of American libtards trying to get a "Get out of the USA free" card, aka a Canadian immigration visa. Agent 3 has considerable experience in this field and has some advice for Yanks yearning to come to the better half of North America: forget about it!
There is actually a border between the USA and Canada. [No wall though... yet! Ed.] You need a passport to enter Canada as a visitor. Well, not to enter Canada, actually, but to get back into the Excited States. And if it looks like your country won't let you back in, the Canadians won't admit you. If you are honest enough to tell them you want to stay, they make you apply to immigrate, just like everyone else [except Muslim refugees. Ed.] And it ain't easy.
Canada uses a complex points system to determine whether a person is allowed to immigrate. There are exemptions for anyone who can holler "refugee" and speak enough English or French to ask the way to the welfare office. There are exemptions for those who already have family in Canada. That does not include fiancé(e)s or mail-order brides/grooms. There are exemptions for temporary workers in occupations which Canadians shun, like picking fruit and packing fish. If you can't wiggle through any of those loopholes, you have to be educated, speak one or both of Canada's official languages, and have marketable skills or (better) a certified job offer.
Even if you think you can pile up enough points -- there's a self-evaluation on the Canadian immigration website, if it's working -- the unpleasant truth is that the majority of Canadians are not too keen on the idea of making it easier for US citizens to move to their country. A poll conducted last weekend by Mainstreet Research asked 5066 Canadians if they would be willing to make it easier for Americans to relocate to Canada if Trump won the election. Only 11% said they were in favour, compared with 72% who would prefer that you stay home. 17% apologized for being undecided.
So that's the bad news. The good news is that the sun rose in the east this morning, as usual. The world is not coming to an end. America will not just survive, but thrive under the new administration. You'll be OK.
Not convinced yet? Check out this video by Gavin McInnes, in which he explains in detail why there isn't one single part of the Great No-longer-white North that you would want to move to, even if you could. Don't listen to all those hysterical liberals. Listen to Gavin, and Agent 3, and Walt. You're welcome.