ORDER FOR DEFENSE OF WASHINGTON DC

Note from Ed.: We are concerned, as we know our readers are, about the increasing number of seemingly random attacks on police and civilians in and around the nation's capital. The possibility that these incidents are not the work of deranged individuals, but coordinated acts of terrorism cannot be dismissed out of hand. At this perilous time in the history of the United States, the country needs a strong leader, someone who will take steps to make America safe again. Last night, a plain brown envelope was slipped under the door of Walt's cabin in the pines. It contains a copy of the executive order which one of the candidates for President will issue once elected and sworn in.

EXECUTIVE ORDER FOR
THE DEFENSE OF WASHINGTON

IN THE EVENT OF AN ATTACK ON WASHINGTON BY MUSLIMS/MEXICANS, EVERYONE IN MARYLAND, VIRGINIA AND THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA WILL BE MOBILIZED.

ALL MEN AND BOYS OLD ENOUGH TO CARRY AN ASSAULT RIFLE WILL BE SENT TO WASHINGTON TO TAKE UP POSITIONS AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE AND THE CAPITOL.

ANYONE LACKING AN ASSAULT RIFLE, HANDGUN OR OTHER FIREARM IS DIRECTED TO PURCHASE ONE AT JOE MAMA'S BAR AND GRILL IN DOWNTOWN BALTIMORE. (10% DISCOUNT FOR MEMBERS OF THE N.R.A.)

MARRIED MEN WILL TAKE THEIR WIVES TO CARRY FOOD AND COOK. THOSE WITHOUT WIVES WILL TAKE ANY WOMEN WITHOUT A HUSBAND. WOMEN WITH SMALL BABIES NEED NOT GO.

THE BLIND, THOSE WHO CANNOT WALK, OR FOR ANY REASON CANNOT CARRY A FIREARM ARE EXEMPT.

ANYONE FOUND AT HOME AFTER PUBLICATION OF THIS ORDER WILL BE HANGED.

GIVEN UNDER MY (BIG) HAND AND SEAL (OF QUALITY)

Donald J. Trump

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF