Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Bono urges Newfoundlanders to help starving African children

Agent 9 sends us news of an appearance by well-known do-good wienie Bono in the easternmost part of North America, the Canadian province of Newfoundland. Newfoundland has its own poverty issues, what with oil prices down to $45 and the arse out of the fishery. Nevertheless, Bono made his customary appeal to white guilt, urging his audience to do something for the poor starving children of Africa.

He asked the audience for to be quiet, and then he slowly started to clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he said in solemn tones, "(clap) I want you to think about something. (clap) Every time I clap my hands... (clap) a child in Africa dies (clap)..."

At that point a Newfie in the front row hollered, "Then stop clappin', ya Irish arsehole!"

Further reading, suggested by Agent 34: "Rest Of U2 Perfectly Fine With Africans Starving", The Onion 7/12/05. It's a joke, OK? So was the little story above.

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