Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Police training VIDEO: How to peel a banana

Everybody knows that Canada is a frightfully peaceful [dull? boring? Ed.] country, except maybe for Toronto's Jane-Finch district. Oh...and Malvern and Regent Park and Scarberia and... [That's enough. Ed.] OK, well, York Region, north of Toronto must be peaceful as the local bobbies -- as Canadian police are called -- have enough time on their hands to produce instructional videos on such arcane (but important) subjects as the fine art of peeling bananas. Check this out.

Walt is not making this up. This video was sent out yesterday, along with a series of tweets, by the communications office of York Regional Police. Said their spokesthingy, "I would love to tell you that there was a ton of strategic planning, high-level thinking and the start of a month-long national campaign, but all of that would be untrue. We enjoy having fun with Twitter and today was no exception."

Constable Andy Pattenden told the Notional Pest that he got idea for a series of "instructional fruit videos" when he noticed another underemployed officer peeling a banana from the bottom up, rather than from the top down. "You see," he said, "us [sic] police officers are highly trained investigators and even the little things catch our attention. Instead of just leaving the observation alone, I decided to discuss the revolutionary method by which he accessed the fruit and it lead to plenty of discussion around the office."

Will there be more such interesting and informative productions? It is rumored that next up will be a video on how to eat a donut -- maple glazed, from Tim Horton's of course -- from the hole outwards. Stay tuned.

Footnote: Ontario cops are among the most highly-paid of that province's snivel servants. The government's "Sunshine List" (of those earning over C$100,000 per year -- $94,000 in real money) includes many "lowly" police constables. Agent 3 is checking to see if PC Pattenden is on the list, and says he will write a complaint to any cabinet minister who can read.

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