As Canadian readers of WWW know, "Independent" -- read "ex-Conservative" -- Senator Michael Dennis Duffy is not the undisputed king of the Canuck pork barrel. He is the pork barrel! He is currently suspended from his extra-wide seat in the Upper Chamber of Parliament, and under investigation (so they say) by Sergeant Preston of the Yukon [RCMP, surely! Ed.]
See "Moron* Mike Duffy", "'Bring me the head of Senator Duffy!'", and "Emotional and over-refreshed, Senator Puffy denies having his snout too deep in the trough", all posted here last year.
The circumferentially-challenged senator has been maintaining a low profile [Really?! Ed.] while the investigation drags on, but finds himself in the glare of the headlights this week after Canada's Maclean's magazine published an interview with Karen Duffy, a Peruvian woman who claims to be the Puffster's bastard daughter by a convicted drug smuggler.
Yvette Benites says she met Duffy's sister Moira in the early `80s at Kingston's old Prison for Women (P4W) while doing time after being conned into carrying a prohibited substance into Canada. Moira introduced Yvette to her brother, who was then a reporter and gossip-monger for the CBC, while Yvette was on parole at a half-way house, pending deportation.
The Maclean's story says the alleged affair lasted for a few months, ending when Ms Benites found herself, errr, up the duff, at which point Mr. Duffy's interest in her, errr, rehabilitation suddenly ceased.
Now Karen Duffy, allegedly the fruit of the illicit affair, wants the father she never met to at least acknowledge her existence. The 32-year-old said she is not seeking money from Senator Duffy, who is well known to be so impecunious that his "friend" Nigel Wright had to repay the Senate for the money Duffy scammed on his expense account.
Ms Duffy says all she wants is "to have a relationship" with her father. "I want to meet him," she said. "I want him to know me, and share the things that are important to me."
She told Maclean's that she and her mother tried to reach out to the journalist-turned-senator over the past few decades, with no response. So, she has brought a paternity suit in a Peruvian court. Although any order of a Peruvian court would likely be unenforceable in Canada (according to Agent 3), it would seem that the Puffster's options are either to (a) admit paternity or (b) submit to a DNA test to disprove the allegation. The rumour on Parliament Hill is that Nigel Wright has volunteered to take the test for Duffy, for friendship's sake.
Note from Ed. to Agent 9: "Father Duffy"...the other Father Duffy! Geddit?!