Ed. here. Walt has taken the weekend off. (Yes, I know it seems like he took off on Wednesday!) Once again we need to give our followers something interesting and provocative, so here's a video posted to YouTube earlier this week, in which John Cleese takes aim at polical correctness and wokeism.
The Monty Python legend says political correctness is ruining creativity in all aspects of human activity.
From shows and movies ranging from Monty Python's Flying Circus and Fawlty Towers to Life of Brian and A Fish Called Wanda, Mr Cleese has uproariously and relentlessly satirized politics and religion while stretching the boundaries of decorum and good taste like so many silly walks.
Mr Cleese, now 82, appeared at FreedomFest, the annual July gathering of libertarians in Las Vegas, to discuss creativity, the subject of his 2020 "short and cheerful guide." After he'd given a talk on the attitudes and habits he believes are necessary for creativity to 2500 attendees, John Cleese was interviewed by ReasonTV's Nick Gillespie, who posted the video, on the importance of freedom of thought and expression for a flourishing society.
No, this story was not made up by the Monty Pythons.
The Grauniad reports that a man in Vienna has been fined €500 ($563 in real money) for breaking wind loudly in front of police. The Österreich newspaper reported that the penalty stemmed from an incident on June 5th and that the offender was fined for offending public decency.
City police wrote on Twitter "of course no one is reported for accidentally letting one go," but added that the man had behaved provocatively and uncooperatively during an encounter with officers that preceded the incident. He got up from a park bench, they said, looked at officers and "let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent."
Inspektor Katzenhammeer noted that the decision could be appealed against.
Note from Ed.: You can't imagine how long I've waited to be able to use this meme. Walt said the day would never come, but he was wrong! {Lifetime pct .977.)
This is not a promo for CBC's egregiously unfunny sitcom Kim's Convenience. This is real footage of an attempted robbery which occurred Saturday evening at a convenience store in Mississauga ON. The holdup was foiled when the wife of the storeowner -- a Korean, surprisingly enough -- hit the would-be thief -- possibly white, possibly not -- with a bunch of bananas, forcing him to flee.
CTV's Nick Dixon [Really? Not "Dick" Dixon? Ed.] has the story.
The storeowners were unhurt. The would-be thief may, like the bananas, have a couple of bruises. Inspector Knacker of the Peel Police [not making this up. Ed.] said the intruder did not have a gun, but warned retail workers not to confront suspects as, you never know, they could be armed with a gun... or maybe a banana of their own. What do you do then?! John Cleese and the Monty Python group demonstrate the proper technique for dealing with such a situation.
Ed. here. Walt has been MIA for a couple of days, and it's only now that I can tell you why. Seems he set out on Friday to organize and catalogue his library, and came across some interesting books which he stopped to read. These included How to Carve Fertility Symbols, and a slim volume of Chinese water colours (a gift from Agent 88) illustrating flexio gallinacea, inversio palligrada, saltus subversum and other unusual attitudes.
Cognizant, however, of his self-imposed duty to provide something for our readers to peruse, Walt has sent the following review of another book... well, a series of books, actually. It came tied around the neck of a large mouse (or small rat) which makes its home in the wall between the library and the cubbyhole which passes for my office.
Imagine a young man possessed of the physical and mental attitudes of four fictional characters: Forrest Gump (of the eponymous movie); Private Will Stockdale (the bumpkin turned soldier played by Andy Griffith in No Time For Sergeants); Asa Hearthrug (hero of Barefoot Boy With Cheek and other novels by Max Shulman); and Constable Benton Fraser (pictured, played by Paul Gross in Due South). The composite would be Bartholomew Wolfe Bandy, narrator of The Bandy Papers.
The Bandy Papers is a series of novels by Canadian author Donald Jack (1924-2003), sometime screenwriter, full-time humorist and winner of three Stephen Leacock Awards. The Bandy novels, for which Jack is most famous, chronicle the exploits -- mostly unintentional -- of a naïf from small-town Ontario, who goes on to become a World War I fighter ace and heroic exemplar of the archtypical dumb-but-nice Canadian.
There appear to be 10 books in the Bandy Papers series -- depends on whether you count different editions -- all containing the word "me" in the title. Three Cheers for Me was the first, published in 1962. Then came That's Me in the Middle (1973) and It's Me Again (1975). For the complete bibliography, see the Wikipedia article.
Bandy is described as over 6 feet tall, with a face like a horse. (Canadian Defence Minister Peter MacHackey will play the role if I get to cast the movie version.) His voice is high pitched and whiney and is said to resemble that of W.C. Fields, whom he once met. This combination seems to drive most people (and many animals) he meets to dislike him. As a result he has developed a "stone face" to counter these attacks -- a defence that often backfires by inciting his enemies to greater levels of malice.
Bandy's talents, although well disguised, are real. Like Forrest Gump, he has certainly been an influential (though minor) character in history, or at least present when history was made. He describes an encounter with a young Canadian officer named Lester Pearson, who he thinks unfit for a career in either the diplomatic corps or politics. Walt's Canadian readers will see the humour in this. Like my father, he also knew Lloyd George, and Lloyd George knew him. (For complete lyrics and music send a self-addressed stamp envelope to "Old Song", c/o Walt.)
As should be obvious from the last paragraph, Brits and Canucks will get more out of The Bandy Papers than readers of other nationalities. However, no-one who's ever been in the military -- any mililtary, of any nation, at any time -- cannot fail to be rendered helpless with laughter (of the you-have-to-laugh-so-you-won't-cry variety) by Bandy's tellingly accurate descriptions of how things work (not!) in the Canadian Army and Royal Flying Corps.
Bandy's military career went from the heights of the Air Board to the lows of fighting in a bicycle battalion. He left the RAF in 1920 as a Lieutenant (acting Major) General! Later books tell us that after the war Bandy had short but illustrious careers in silent films, rum-running and politics. When several of his careers threatened to land him in prison (or worse, Cabinet) Bandy returned to Europe flying via Iceland in an attempt to restore his fortunes through the marketing of The Gander, an amphibious aircraft of his design. His plans came to naught when he lost the Gander during the rescue of a downed aviator in the English Channel.
After that, Bandy was forced to seek employment as a lowly hospital porter until being sought out by the rescued aviator, who turned out to be the son of an Indian maharajah. Offered employment in the Maharajah's air force, Bandy continued his long tradition of upsetting the powers that be by accepting this controversial appointment. This led to him being knighted but he seldom used his title.
It is mentioned that he flew for the Republicans in the Spanish Civil War but this is not detailed. In WWII, Bandy fought against the Bosch once again, and became re-acquainted with a son from a previous adventure. In the final volume of the series, Bandy faces Germany's top fighter pilot in combat before returning to the Soviet Union for the Yalta conference, during which he has to cope with Stalin's paranoia and the NKVD.
Nothing far-fetched about these tales, obviously. Equally obvious is the fact that the longer a series goes on, the greater the loss of quality in each sequel. We learned that from Star Wars, and it's worth noting that the later Bandy novels were contemporaneous with the later (and crappier) Star Wars movies. In fact, the last book -- Stalin Versus Me -- was not published until two years after Jack's death. Perhaps the author was trying to quit while he was ahead.
IMHO, the first three novels in the series (see above) are the best. My only caveat is that, if you know nothing about flying and WWI aircraft, you may need to enlist the services of Agent 17 to translate for you. Here's a test for you -- the Monty Python "RAF banter" sketch.
OK, that's set in WWII. If you understood it without assistance, you'll be find with Bandy. If not, well, read at least the first three novels anyway. You'll figure it out. And I guarantee you, not just for a chuckle or two, but scores of chuckles and the occasional belly laugh. Righto!
A rare sighting of Agent 34 who forwarded something of interest to all fans of Monty Python and John Cheese...
ALERTS TO SECURITY THREATS IN EUROPE by John Cleese (British writer, actor and tall person)
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".
The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army> for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are"Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
Agent 34 adds this final thought. Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
