Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Toronto man caught committing indecent act with cucumber

Now there's a headline you don't see every day -- thank goodness -- even in Toronto, the fount of all evil. Here's the story, from the CTV Toronto News website.

Police have made an arrest after a woman reported a man performing an indecent act while holding a cucumber at a Toronto library in April.

A 26-year-old woman told police she was studying at Agincourt Library, near Sheppard Avenue East and Kennedy Road, on the evening of April 7 when a man approached her table. The man sat down, opened his laptop and began to commit an indecent act while holding a cucumber, Toronto police allege in a press release.

On Saturday, Inspector Knacker received a call for a suspicious incident at the same library. When the SWAT team arrived [Seriously? Ed.] they were directed to a man sitting in the library holding a cucumber. Police said that he was recognized from the incident in April.

Fredrick Tennyson Davis, 49, of Toronto, was arrested on Saturday and charged with an indecent attack and two counts of failure to comply with probation.

The good burghers of Toronto ought not to be surprised by stories like this, given that deviant sex and sex with vegetables have been actively promoted on at least one website OKed by the Toronto District School Board for inclusion in the "Community" listings on their website. See "Sex with vegetables? Toronto school board links you to more info".

Ah yes... "Toronto the Good"... we hardly know ye.

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