I'm not going to see Noah. Why would I? I know the story. I was there! See pic below. I was younger then.
OK, it's not me. It's Russell Crowe in Noah, the latest Hollywood blockbuster to sully the silver screen. It was released on March 29th, in an obvious bid to attract Christians [and Jews? Ed.] who feel vaguely guilty about not going to church and not knowing their Bible history. You may be tempted to go see it. Don't bother.
The lamestream media are amused by a report that Russell Crowe (himself) invited Francis the Party Pope (himself) to go to a special screening. The Holy Father is said to have declined. Now the semi-official Catholic newspaper L'Avvenire has criticized the film as "ecologically and vaguely New Age", a "missed opportunity" that ignores God.
This is the first (somewhat) official comment from the Church since Noah was released. The movie is very loosely based on the Genesis account of the great flood, but director Darren Aronofsky has described his adaptation as "the least-biblical biblical film ever made". When the... errr... creator says it's not Biblical, I think we can believe him.
In the Excited States of America, as you might expect, Noah topped the weekend box office, with opening sales of $44 million. It's not so popular in the rest of the world though, especially Muslim countries like Indonesia and Malaysia, where it's been banned outright. The Christian Post quotes Muchlis Paen, the head of Indonesia's censor board, as saying the film contradicts the flood stories in both the Koran and Bible.
Meanwhile, a screening of Noah in an Exeter cinema was cancelled due to flooding. That should be all the warning ye need.