How many languages is enough?

Let me declare my bias at the outset. I believe in official bilingualism, or even multilingualism for those countries in which there are enough speakers of "minority languages" to warrant it. If you've got 20 or 25 or 30 or 40 percent of the population who speak a language other than that of the majority, their language needs and deserves recognition or protection.

It's a good principle, based on equity and in most cases history. But in practice, it tends to get a bit messy, especially when the number of official languages rises to three or more. Switzerland has four official languages, not including English which does not have official status. In South Africa they went from two (English and Afrikaans) to (I think) nine. India has 15...I think. It's a Babel out there!

The trouble starts when you try to make sure that everything "official" is done in both languages, as they do in Canada. I was reminded of this watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics yesterday. Here are a couple of paragraphs from today's Canadian Press report.

Organizers promised they wouldn't try to shoehorn in more French to appease critics who said the opening ceremonies were too English-centric. But there was, in fact, more French-language content, some of which didn't feel accidental.

Avila, Yanofsky and Derek Miller joined forces on "Let's Have a Party," which featured French and English lyrics, Furlong struggled through a bit of rough French at the top of his speech and sprinkled more throughout. Lavigne and Fox both exited the stage by announcing "Merci beaucoup."

"Furlong" is the chairman of VANOC, the Vancouver games organizing committee. Listening to him mispronounce the few lines of French which had been written for him was painful. I felt embarrassed for him. But no English-speaking Canadian politician would dare read an entire speech without trying to get out a couple of words in "the other language".

So also we have the crazy debate about which language to sing the national anthem in. The lyrics for "O Canada" were originally written in French. The words are very beautiful, also quite Catholic and chauvinistic, with references to carrying the sword and the cross. Loyal Orangemen can't stand those words!

There have been two or three English versions written since, with nice but quite different words, including "our home and native land", which is objected to (so they say) by immigrants. The political correctness just gets worse and worse.

What is sung now at events like the Olympic closing ceremonies or an Ottawa Senators hockey game is hodgepodge of a couple of lines of English, then a couple of lines of French, and some more English. It leaves even the reasonably bilingual about a half-note behind the music, because everyone is waiting to hear which language the next guy is going to sing!

I mention this as food for thought to American readers. Pressure is building in the USA to recognize Spanish as an official language, at least in some of the southwestern states. If that happens, who's going to write new lyrics for "The Star-Spangled Banner"? And can we be patient during official ceremonies while, as in Canada, everything is said first in one language and then in the other?

Official bilingualism sorely tests our brotherly love. To avoid coming to blows, people do not need to learn a second language, but they do need to learn to be tolerant of others.