Seen on Canada's Global News website.
Monday, May 30, 2022
True stuff: Just when you thought "media English" couldn't get worse
Friday, May 27, 2022
What's in a name?
The surprise (?) appearance of Meghan Markle at the memorial for the victims of the Uvalde school massacre -- see this morning's update to yesterday's post -- has the Internet ablaze with rumours that the Princess of Woke, tired of being a nobody, is planning a run for a high elected office in 2024.
How high would the office have to be to get Ms Markle to give up her position as Duchess of Sussex. Let's see... Governor of California? Not enough? How about President of the Excited States of America? Kamala Harris, who is poisesd to succeed Sleepy Joe Brandon, must be quaking in her boots to find a younger Person of Colour thinking of throwing her do-rag in the ring.
It is said that Ms Markle has the Clintons and the Obamas behind her, so if she wants to go, she can rely on the power of their names. Names can mean a lot... or nothing at all... as Walt found reading "What's in a name?", a section of the "All-new True Facts 1985" issue of National Lampoon "the Humor Magazine for Adults", now on sale in our sponsor's Webstore. Here are just three of 20 True Names.
Jaguar Ferrari Tonniges, of Lincoln NE, named his newborn son Austin Healy Tonniges, carrying on a family tradition begun by his father, who named his children after his favorite sports cars. Besides Jaguar Ferrari, twenty-three, the elder Tonniges has two other children, Lancia Lemans, twenty-two, and Aston Martin, eighteen.
Dr Ngozi Aa-Anubiaimhotepokorohamz, of Raleigh NC, gave her newborn son eight thousand names, which she claims is a world's record. Reported the child's complete name will fill thirty-four single-spaced typewritten pages.
The baby's name will start with Dr Semaj (the first five letters of his names are "James" spelled backward), followed by the names of several world heads of state, a few historical names, some ancestral names, some names of people who might influence the child's life, and the mathematical term "pi". The baby's name begins with "Dr", the mother said, "to emphasize the importance of a name."
Aal-Anubiaimhotepokorohamz and her husband changed their names and those of their children three years ago. They used to be named McGirt.
A twenty-three-year-old man was arrested in London, England, for blocking traffic outside Parliament while he played the clarinet for twoo hundred fellow demonstrators. The demonstration was in opposition to the arrival of American nuclear weapons in Great Britain, explained Martin Felix Oddsocks McWeirdo El Tutti Fruiti Farto Hello Hippopotamus Bum.
Just in case you think they made this stuff up, each item has a citation. Truth is stranger (and often funnier) than fiction. If you decide to buy something from our sponsor's collection of National Lampoon mags and Doonesbury books, tell `em Walt sent ya!
Thursday, May 26, 2022
UPDATED: Thoughts on the Uvalde massacre
Do not look here for witty comments on the massacre of nearly two dozen innocent people -- most of them children -- at Uvalde TX. Don't even expect a lengthy "think piece", as I have no questions that haven't already been asked, no solutions that haven't already been proffered. I have only these few thoughts....
25 years ago, in A Walk in the Woods, Bill Bryson asked what kind of world we live in where even park rangers carry service revolvers. Bill, that is not all the world, just the American part of it. The "gun culture" has become hard-wired into Americans. Many think, with some cause, that if everyone else has a gun, why should I be the only one unable to defend myself?
Park rangers carry sidearms, one supposes, because they are responsible for the safety of park users. They might need to shoot a bear or a rabid skunk... or a stalker who prowls the woods looking for innocents to rape or murder. (Bill Bryson writes of a double murder, still unsolved, in Shenandoah National Park.) By that reasoning, it may be that teachers, responsible as they are for the safety of their pupils, should carry guns.
That thought has been expressed before. After Sandy Hook. After Columbine. These tragedies dramatize the question of gun control -- should there be more or less? -- which dominates political debate this week.
The SJWs, Democrats and other liberals seize on the opportunity to express outrage and demonize conservatives, Republicans and other law-and-order types. So we have the disgraceful exhibition of Beto O'Rourke (D) interrupting the press conference of Texas Governor Greg Abbott (R) to score what can only be called a political "own goal". Shameful.
The anti-Trumpers, SJWS, BLMers etc are having a much harder time with this one than with the Buffalo massacre. They can't put it down to anti-black racism / white supremacy, because the shooter and victims were all (apparently) Hispanics. And the murderer wasn't an illegal alien either, so those arguing for or against amnesty have nothing to say.
But the loony left and t hose pushing the "diversity and inclusivity" agenda will keep trying. One of the more ridiculous appeals I've seen is that of Jaden Janak, a PhD candidate at the University of Texas and a junior fellow at the Center for Applied Transgender Studies. "These children and adults who were murdered yesterday were just living their lives," Mr/Ms/whatever Janak said yesterday. "They didn't know that yesterday was going to be their last day. And similarly, as trans people, that's a fear that we have all the time." Oh dear...
Enough politics. To close, I want to talk about the expressions of grief and other responses to this and just about every other similar incident. "Thoughts and prayers" is such a tired cliché, so overworked, that people (particularly politicians) seem to feel something further must be done to honour the dead, and show sympathy and support for the bereaved.
"Taking a knee" is too political a statement. So we have the lowering of flags on public and private buildings even beyond the border of the US of A. (Agent 3 reports that this has been done at schools in a suburb of Toronto.) So often does this happen that it's becoming unusual to see flags flying at full staff. Upon seeing a flag at half-staff [not "half-mast". Ed.], people ask "Who's died now?" The gesture is now so commonplace as to be meaningless.
So also with the makeshift memorials of flowers, candles, balloons and teddybears which appear within hours at the site of any violent death, whether criminal or accidental. Putting a stuffed animal on the pile in front of the crime scene is nothing more than virtue-signalling, like placing a wreath on a war memorial.
What good do these "tributes" do for those who have died, or for their grieving families? Within a couple of days, the toys and flowers become nothing more than a pile of trash, to be removed under cover of night by the sanitation engineers. Wouldn't it be better to contribute to a GoFundMe appeal to help with funeral expenses, or a worthy charity which is trying to help heal our sick society?
UPDATE ADDED 27/5/22: Canada's Global News reports that Meghan Markle, the Princess of Woke, yesterday visited the memorial site for the victims of the Uvalde school massacre. Dressed in attire appropriate to the occasion, she placed white flowers tied with a purple ribbon at a memorial outside the Uvalde County Courthouse. Mercifully, she refrained from making a speech.
The Duchess of Sussex (her other title) lives in California with her husband Prince Hairy and their two mixed-race children. Further comment from me would be superfluous.
Wednesday, May 25, 2022
True Facts Dept.: There are no more gypsy moths in Canada
what would you do? What would you do?! Why, call the Oscoda County Gypsy Moth Program, of course. They are conveniently located at 311 Morenci Ave, in beautiful downtown Mio MI [pronounced My-O-My? Ed.] and will come and raid the disgusting gypsy moths, to kill `em dead!
Tuesday, May 24, 2022
To blacks fed up with American racism - "Go back to Africa!"
Monday, May 23, 2022
UPDATED: Monkeypox: haven't we seen this movie before?
Sunday, May 22, 2022
Mother Miriam calls Synod on Synodality "deceptive" and "a sham"
Thursday, May 19, 2022
VIDEO: Michael Matt asks: Is the church of Francis going gay?
Wednesday, May 18, 2022
Where's Walto?
Ed. here. Walt is preparing to undergo a medical procedue, and will return on the weekend, D.V.
Tuesday, May 17, 2022
Memorare
Screen shot from the Rosary in Latin Prayer Room, where the Holy Rosary is prayed in Latin, live streaming 24/7 for constant prayer, in community with others at the same time all over the world. How powerful! May God be praised now and forever!
Monday, May 16, 2022
"Summer of rage" = Civil War v 2.0? - NOT a new idea!
Sunday, May 15, 2022
Coming soon to YOUR city -- a summer of rage!
Friday, May 13, 2022
VIDEOS: Persecution of Chinese Catholics worsens as Commies arrest Cardinal Zen
Wednesday, May 11, 2022
Pro-abort protesters descend on Justice Alito's home
Tuesday, May 10, 2022
They don't make `em like that any more
Unrest grows, at home and abroad
Saturday, May 7, 2022
Your elections this weekend
Friday, May 6, 2022
VIDEO: Latest Wally winner
What's happening with the SCOTUS Dobbs case leak?
I'm pretty sure that's what the Hon. John Roberts, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, has told the Marshal of the Court. Because nothing but the sound of crickets has been heard from the latter since the beginning of the investigation into the leak of Justice Samuel Alito's draft of the decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, the ruling which seems set to overturn Roe v. Wade.
As Walt told you early yesterday, the source of the leak has been traced (according to social media) to the office of Justice Sonia Maria Sotomayor, the affirmative action appointee put on the shelf [bench, shurely. Ed.] by the Prez. (You didn't think President Brandon got the idea of appointing a woman of colour all by himself, did you?)
If Justice Sotomayor didn't give the draft to the lickspittle press in person, she carelessly left it on her desk where her very woke clerk, Amit Jain, could see it and act accordingly. That's the story circulating in the Swamp, and far beyond.
And yet, and yet... as far as Ed. can see, not a word of this has been published in any of the major media, including Breitbart News. Isn't that strange? You'd think BN (or Fox at least) would publish the aforementioned names, just to get a reaction.
Consider this story, told by Hunter S. Thompson, Doctor of Gonzo Journalism, in Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail `72.
Legend has it that in one of his early election campaigns, Lyndon Baines Johnson was facing stiff opposition from a prominent Texan farmer. He asked his aides what kind dirt would stick to his opponent, and was told the man was as scandal-free as any Texan politician could be."He's been happily married for 30 years, doesn't mess around with other women, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't gamble. There's nothing bad we can say about him!"
"Tell ya what," LBJ supposedly replied. "Start a rumor that he's been known to have carnal knowledge with his sows."
"What?!", shot back one of his helpers. "You want to call the guy a pig-fucker?! Nobody's gonna believe that!"
"I know," replied Mr Johnson. "But let's make the sonovabitch deny it!"
Walt wonders if the Marshal of the Supreme Court, or an investigative reporter for WaPo, or anyone else, has asked Justic Sotomayor (or her aide) if there's any truth to the very strong rumor. Let's hear them deny it!
Further reading: "Alito 5 Must Stay the Course", by Patrick J. Buchanan, LewRockwell.com, 7/5/22.