VIDEO: Chinese war ships collide while harrassing Filipino patrol boat

Walt has been taken to task for suggesting, in "Walt recommends NOT trying to drive in China", WWW 28/7/25, that the Chinese have a deserved reputation for being poor drivers. Does the phrase "Chinese fire drill" not mean anything to you? 

There is a reason for every stereotype, and the Chinese problem with steering and following the rules of the road -- "Ruse are for othe peeper!" -- extends beyond terra firm, onto the water. This was demonstrated just yesterday, when two Chinese vessels collided in the South China Sea while pursuing a Philippine patrol boat near the contested Scarborough Shoal.

Yes, we have video, released by officials in Manila, which shows a Chinese coast guard vessel shooting a water cannon and tracking close behind a Philippine coast guard boat until the former collided with a much larger People’s Liberation Army craft, leaving visible damage on both Chinese vessels.

The video, taken from the stern of the Filipino patrol boat BRP Suluan, shows a Chinese Coast Guard vessel aggressively and dangerously firing a water cannon while pursuing the smaller Filipino craft at high speed. The Chinese Coast Guard vessel then slammed into an even bigger People’s Liberation Army Navy (PLAN) ship that was maneuvering behind the Suluan.

The Filipino patrol boat, having observed Chinese personnel working on the deck of the Coast Guard ship before the collision, circled around to offer assistance, but the Chinese did not respond.

The Philippine Foreign Ministry said today that the actions of the Chinese ships "not only posed a grave danger to Philippine personnel and vessels, but also resulted in the unfortunate collision between the two Chinese vessels. Yesterday's incident demonstrates the importance of adhering to international maritime rules."

Walt is reminded of one of the early scenes from Bridge on the River Kwai in which the Japanese Colonel Saito shouts at the British Colonel Nicholson, "Rules? What rules?! What do you know of rules?! This is war, not a game of cricket!"

Unrest grows, at home and abroad

Walt has been quiet for the last couple of days, waiting for other shoes to drop in the Philippines, Sri Lanka, and the Excited States of America. Here's the recap. 

The presidential election in the Philippines turned out as Walt predicted. (Lifetime pct .992) Bongbong, aka Ferdinand Marcos Jr., son of the late Philippines dictator of the same name, is riding on a tsunami of votes. 

He has 30 million so far, more than double the total of his rival, the current Vice-President, Maria Leonra "Leni" Robredo. 

36 years after protesters drove his dad out of office, Bongbong will become Pinas' latest "strongman president". Ms Robredo, predicts that his election will sanctify and perpetuate the abuses of his father.

Against all such criticism, in Marcos strongholds in Bisayas (the nicest part of PI, IMHO), the historic family name holds an almost messianic appeal over impressionable and celebrity-struck people who don't know or don't believe the tales of corruption and dictatorship that marked his father's 21-year rule.

In the province of Leyte, ancestral home of his 92-year-old mother Imelda of the 1000 Shoes, the junior Marcos is seen as a man of the people, even though he's lived a life of wealth and privilege few Pinoys can imagine. Such is the power of political family names, like "Kennedy" and "Clinton" and [Next item please. Ed.]    

In another poor country which seems to be sliding from third-world status to fourth-world, Sri Lanka, mostly peaceful protests against leftist misrule have turned violent.

Walt has lost touch with his agents in Colombo and Kandy [Are you there? Send word! Ed.] but understands that a curfew is now in force across the country after mobs burned down homes belonging to the ruling Rajapaksa family and their cronies (such as government minister Sananth Nishantha, whose blazing house is shown below) amid mounting anger at the economic crisis. 

Last night's violence capped a day of unrest that saw Prime Minister Mahinda Rajapaksa quit, but this failed to bring calm. Crowds besieged his residence, from which he was evacuated in a pre-dawn operation amid tear gas and warning shots. 

Protests are continuing despite the curfew. Seven people have died and over 200 have been injured so far this week. The island-wide curfew has been extended until Wednesday morning as authorities seek to quell the violence.

Back in the USA, although Antifa and other woke, pro-abortion terrorists have mounted "mostly peaceful protests" in such leftist strongholds as Seattle and Portland OR, their efforts to fire up the citizenry [No more puns please. Ed.] haven't held a candle [Watch it! Ed.] to those of the righteously angry demonstrators in Sri Lanka. 

Public opinion polls measuring the reaction to the leaked draft of the SCOTUS decision in the Hobbs case, suggest that the majority of Americans won't support attempts by Democrats and other liberals and leftists to codify "women's reproductive health rights", i.e. the right to kill babies if having them is inconvenient.

Meanwhile, Walt awaits news -- any news at all -- about the Marshal of the Supreme Court's supposed efforts to find and prosecute the source of the leak. Let me name names once again. Reports all over the Net identify Justice Sonia Maria Sotomayor and/or her clerk, Amit Jane, as the source of the leak. Has the Marshal interviewed either of them? We should be told!

Further reading: "The Real Threat is the Violent Left-wing", by Jeff Crouere, Townhall, 9/5/22. 

Your elections this weekend

We concern ourselves, here on WWW, mainly with American and Canadian politics. But Walt has a soft spot in his heart [head? Ed.] for certain other countries -- especially Ukraine -- and a more-than-passing interest in still others. This weekend there is news from two of those "others", of elections that herald profound changes, maybe good, maybe not.

First to Northern Ireland, aka Ulster, which has been struggling for a century to rid itself of the British imperialists. [Your bias is showing. Ed.] Leading the fight to reunite the counties of the North with the rest of Eire is Sinn Féin, the political arm of the IRA.

Within minutes of taking his seat in Stormont (aka the Northern Ireland Assembly) in 1998, Sinn Féin's Martin McGuinness pointed his finger at Ian Paisley, leader of the Protestant Baskets Democractic Unionist Party, and declared, "We've arrived. Change is coming and there's nothing you can do about it." He was right!

Almost complete results from Thursday's election show Sinn Féin poised to replace the DUP as the largest party at Stormont, with its leader, Mary Lou McDonald becoming first minister. That will be a first for a nationalist party. A unionist party -- pledged to keep Ulster a part of the so-called United Kingdom -- has always been the largest in the Assembly, and previously the parliament, since the formation of Northern Ireland in 1921.

Voters in the Philippines go to the polls on Monday. I like the Philippines, and Filipino people, but they do seem to have trouble electing good governments, as a result of which the country suffers from poverty caused by incompetence, corruption and general misrule.

Part of the problem is the Filipino attraction to celebrities, even stronger than that of Americans. Only in America (some say) could movie stars and media personalities become governors, senators and even President. Not so! In PI they elect movie stars and singers, sure, but also boxers, beauty contest winners and celebrities of all stripes. Ordinary people -- the "Jose Rodrigues goes to Manila" types -- don't stand a chance. 

If you watch the excellent GMA video of "Lupang hinirang", the national anthem of the Philippines, you'll see, at about 2:10, a nice image of a nun holding a rosary and celebrating the 1986 EDSA People Power Revolution. Millions of Filipinos from all walks of life marched along Epifanio de los Santos Avenue (EDSA), the main artery of Metro Manila, to end the dictatorship of President Ferdinand E. Marcos and begin a new era marked by true freedom and democracy.   

Now, on May 9th, it looks likely that the same people who celebrated President Marcos' downfall will put his son, Ferdinand Marcos Jr., back into the presidensity. That's him -- little "Bongbong" (one of those Filipino "doorbell names") -- in the camo outfit, in front of his adoring father and Mother Imelda of the 1000 Shoes.

Young Mr Marcos has been busy rehabilitating the image of his kleptocratic parents. In his TV ads, as the voices of a choir soar to a crescendo, he raises a fist to his chest and speaks into the camera: "Together, we will rise again." 

Should Bongbong be successful, it will cap one of the most remarkable resurrections since Lazarus. He has benefited from a campaign to reshape the narrative around his father, casting him not as the brutal dictator that he was, but a patriotic hero who oversaw a period of economic stability and growth for the Philippines. As the country struggles with the Wuhan flu and economic stagnation, many hope to see a return to this mythical golden era.

While Mr Marcos’ supporters argue that he should not be judged for the sins of his father, opponents fear he will continue the authoritarian trend started by outgoing President Rodrigo Duterte, who launched a brutal war on drugs, locked up critics and attacked the free press. Mr Marcos has been boosted by the endorsement of... wait for it... Sara Duterte, the President's daughter, who is running for vice-president (elected separately in the Philippines). 

Polling in the final week of othe campaign suggests Junior could win in a landslide. For the poor people of the Philippines, it looks like back to the future... and they will have no-one to blame but themselves.

Araw ng Kalayaan - Best wishes to our Filipino readers

Ed. here. Walt took yesterday off and missed the deadline for a post, but I think our Filipino friends and readers will forgive the slight delay in sending Independence Day greetings and best wishes for your individual and collective futures.

If you'd like to hear a really great version of Lupang Hinirang -- the national anthem of the Republic of the Philippines -- click here. Every time I hear it, it makes me want to go out and shoot an imperialist!

Araw ng Kalayaan

On June 12th the Philippines celebrates the 121st anniversary of its independence. To all our Filipino readers, friends etc (especially "etc"), Walt sends best wishes for Independence Day and the future of your country!

If you'd like to hear a really great version of Lupang Hinirang -- the national anthem of the Republic of the Philippines -- click here. Every time I hear it, it makes me want to go out and shoot an imperialist!

Independence Day salute to the Philippines and Filipinos!

Posting this a day early, just in case I don't get online tomorrow. To all our Filipino readers, friends etc (especially "etc"), Walt sends best wishes for Independence Day and the future of your country!

If you'd like to hear a really great version of Lupang Hinirang -- the national anthem of the Republic of the Philippines -- click here. Every time I hear it, it makes me want to go out and shoot an imperialist!

A timely guide for Catholic voters

A Catholic friend has sent a link to a pastoral letter from Most Rev. Socrates B. Villegas, Archbishop of Lingayen Dagupan and President of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines. That country, like the USA, has elections in the offing, for the highest offices in the land. In his letter, the prelate offers some guidance to help voters choose "God-fearing leaders who are also bravely and stubbornly loyal to the flag and to the people."

To know which candidates are God-fearing and deserving of our vote, Archbishop Villegas says we should use the age-old standards of our Judeo-Christian tradition, as set out in the Ten Commandments. Here are the questions we need to ask them, and ourselves. (The Commandments, in a modern translation, follow the numbering in the Catholic Bible, as it has been since 382 AD.)

I. I am the Lord your God. You shall not have strange gods before me. Do not vote for an atheist or for someone who makes fun of the name of God. A Catholic cannot support a candidate who vows to wipe out religion from public life, or whose ideology binds him or her to make of the country a secular state that has no tolerance for religion in its public life.

II. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Do not vote for candidates who have a history of violating oaths they have made. A person commits perjury when he makes a promise under oath with no intention of keeping it, or when after promising on oath he does not keep it. Perjury is a grave lack of respect for the Lord of all speech. Nor should one pledge oneself by oath to commit an evil deed.

III. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day. If the candidate professes to be a Christian, how does he or she look at Sunday worship, Sunday rest especially for the poor, Sunday time with the family? Has the candidate fallen to the pursuit of some sort of "ideology of performance" introducing a harsh, impersonal and self-centered attitude, contributing to the culture of heightened anxiety, hyper-activism and success orientation, without God in public policies?

Archbishop Villegas spoke of the trend to "dynastic politics", which is even more apparent in the Philippines than in the USA, when he wrote:

IV. Honor your father and your mother. Do not vote for family members running for the same positions as family members before them to perpetrate the family's hold on public office. Christian voters should prudently choose others who may have equal if not superior abilities and competencies for the position.

V. You shall not kill. A Catholic voter commits a grave sin in voting for candidates who oppose the Lord's teachings on the sacredness of human life from conception to natural death. Please demand that the candidates state in clear terms their position on issues such as abortion, the return of the death penalty, euthanasia and extra-judicial killings.

VI. You shall not commit adultery. The Church’s position on marriage and human sexuality is positive and uplifting. The Christian view of sexuality and marriage presents the dignity and authentic freedom of single and married life that is truly fulfilling, desirable, and fruitful. How does this candidate view marriage and sexuality? How does this candidate live the marriage commitment? What is his position on divorce? Does he mock the institution of marriage?

VII. You shall not steal. Is the candidate committed to the common good? Has this candidate stolen public money and remains obstinate and stubborn in making the required restitution of stolen goods?

VIII. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Lying is the intentional misrepresentation of the truth by word, gesture, or even silence. To deliberately intend to mislead other persons who have the right to know the truth can do real violence to them. For it denies them the knowledge they need to make their judgments and decisions. Beware of liars. Lying is a devil with many faces. Be wise. Watch out. Do not vote for liars.

IX. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. Does the candidate treat women with respect? In providing sex education for children, does the candidate promote healthy interpersonal relationships and proper bodily expressions? Does the candidate promote an adulterous lifestyle by his life example? Does the candidate support or promote the ideology of a homosexual lifestyle without respect for modesty and right conduct?

X. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods. What has the candidate done for the poor? Have his programs for the poor led to the liberation of the poor from the shackles of poverty or has this candidate promoted a culture of patronage so that the poor may be perennially dependent and hence easier to manipulate? Do we see signs of unjust craving for victory in elections, envy at the success of others? A candidate who spends his time demolishing the reputation and tarnishing the good name of fellow candidates may have nothing positive to offer, and he debases the level of political discourse by calling attention to the shortcomings of his rivals and competitors.

Archbishop Villegas concludes his exhortation thus: You are called to be authentic Catholic voters who decide from prayer and conscience. You are called to take courage and make moral decisions. Your vote can make heaven come down and make our country beautiful and good as God desires it. Be free from the tyranny and pressure of trends and herds. Do it right! Choose what is right according to the Ten Commandments. Lord guide us with your grace. Amen.

Don't mention the Muslims!

One has to wonder -- perhaps not for very long -- at the reluctance of the lamestream press in the USA and Canada to identify murderers, hostage-takers, assassins and terrorists as Muslims. Could it have anything to do with political correctness, or fear of being prosecuted for fomenting Islamophobia? Errr, quite possibly. Cases in point....

Item: In the Philippines, four hostages -- two Canadians, a Norwegian, and a Filipina -- appear in a video released by their captors, appealing to authorities to stop military operations in the Philippines and to negotiate for their freedom with the Islamist militants who hold them. For details of the story, see "ISIS in Philippines: New video shows kidnapped Canadian, Norwegian hostages pleading for life", on the International Business Times website. [Funny that IBT didn't mention the Filipina. Ed.]

The video can be found on YouTube, but, curiously, is not being shown on either the Canuck government's CBC-TV or the main independent network CTV. Why would that be? The voice-over identifies the kidnappers as being linked to Al-Qaeda. ISIS flags appear behind the captives. Looks like the work of Islamic extremists, wouldn't you say? But neither CBC or CTV wants to mention that fact, in the week preceding an election in which the wearing of niqabs (headgear worn by religious Muslim women) has become a hot button, with over 80% of Canadians against the "accommodation" of the Muslim minority.

Item: Remember the Shafias? They're the Muslim man, his No. 2 wife and son -- all immigrants to Canada -- who murdered No. 1 wife and her three daughters in an honour killing which Shafia père blamed on the girls' sinful desires to wear western clothing, and date boys, just like Canadian girls. See "GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY in Shafia honour killings" (WWW 29/1/12).

The honour killings -- that's what they were -- took place on 30 June 2009, when the four women were locked in a car which was then pushed into the Rideau Canal. Convictions were registered in January 2012, and the three Muslim miscreants were sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole for 25 years, which is the maximum provided for in the Criminal Code of Canada.

Now, 45 months after their conviction, the killers have filed a 110-page factum with the Ontario Court of Appeal arguing for a new trial. On what grounds, you may well ask. Why, they were victims of "cultural stereotyping", of course! They say the trial judge should have intervened when the Crown presented arguments that they believe improperly swayed jurors in their decision-making.

Like what? Well, the Shafias say, the Crown was so politically incorrect as to suggest that their religion had something to do with their motivation for killing over half of their immediate family. And not only that! The document also questions the testimony of University of Toronto Professor Shahrzad Mojab -- himself a Muslim -- an "honour killing" expert who testified on for the prosecution. His expert evidence, they say, might have turned the jury against them. "Even assuming that the jury may have legitimately been assisted by evidence about Afghan cultural norms or concepts of honour, the way in which Dr. Mojab's evidence was presented exceeded that purpose and created enormous prejudice."

Item: The "progressive" parties -- Liberals and NDP -- opposing Steve Harper's Conservatives in next week's Canadian election are making a meal of the Harper government's introduction, in the last parliament, of the Zero Tolerance for Barbaric Cultural Practices Act, which proscribes honour killings, female genital mutilation, forced marriages and the like, even though most of those BCPs were already covered in the Criminal Code. What they don't mention, in their scathing criticisms, is that such practices do exist in Canada, mainly within the Muslim communities.

Allah forbid that anyone should suggest that the values and customs of the followers of the Prophet Mohammed are somehow different from those of the society into which they desire to insinuate themselves. Doing so would suggest that our Western Christian (?) ways are superior to theirs, which we know -- or the politicians and media would have us believe -- is untrue.

More MH370 wreckage found? In Philippines??!!

Walt was wondering just yesterday how the search for debris from Malaysian Airlines flight MH370, which vanished in March 2014, was progressing. It seemed odd to me that only one piece should be found. Today we have a report -- just in from Channel NewsAsia! -- that parts of a plane painted with the Malaysian flag have been sighted in the southern Philippines!

A man named Jamil Omar lodged a report at the Sandakan police station, claiming that a family member discovered the wreckage in a forest at Pulau Sugbay, on the island of Tawi-Tawi, in early September.

As the map shows, Tawi-Tawi is in the far southwest of the Philippine Islands, just east of Malaysia. It lies in the opposite direction from that presumed to have been taken by MH370 when last sighted, and 1000s of miles, again in the opposite direction, from the island of Réunion, where the B-777 flaperon was found.

Mr. Omar's report also claimed human skeletal remains and a Malaysian flag were inside the plane.

While Mr. Omar's report (which also claimed human skeletal remains and a Malaysian flag were inside the claim) sounds rather fanciful, Malaysian police are looking into it. Inspector-General Tan Sri Khalid Abu Bakar Knacker told The Sun Daily,  "There was no photograph to support the claim, so we have asked our counterpart in the Philippines to check whether there was such wreckage."

Malaysian authorities have called on the public not to speculate on the claimed sighting until officials are able to carry out an investigation, since past reports of debris sightings have, for the most part, been inaccurate. But let's speculate anyway! [Do you speculate often? How many times? Ed.]

If it turns out that whatever Mr. Omar's family saw really is wreckage from MH370, how did debris from that ill-fated plane wind up on islands in two different oceans, 1000s of miles apart? Is it possible that bits and pieces were deliberately planted, either on Réunion or Tawi-Tawi? Who would do such a thing? And why? And where did they get the pieces in the first place? Interesting questions. Great food for speculation!

How you know you're at a Filipino party

Contrary to what you may think, there are countries and peoples that Walt likes. That would include the Philippines and Filipinos. They are some of the most hospitable people in the world, love to sing, dance and eat, and are always up for a party! Here's how you know you're at a "fiesta filipina".

You're an hour late and there's still nobody there! There’s enough food to feed the Philippines.

You can't even get through the door because there's a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.

You see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the Last Supper, a huge Santo Nino,and a barrel man.

They're singing "Peelings" on karaoke.

There's a piano in the living room for decoration.

You are greeted by a Tita Baby and/or a Tito Boy.

The older men are in the garage playing posoy-dos, or poker or 31.
The women are in the kitchen gossiping, or are playing mahjong.
The other people are in the entertainment room singing karaoke,
and the kids are outside the streets running around unsupervised.

There's goat 'pulutan' being cooked.
The lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch.
All the old aunties are already wrapping up food to take home.


The aunties & guests are showing off their "designer" Louis Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a swap meet or garage sale.
There's a crazy woman with a camera going around the room snapping away yelling, "Uy peeeek-chuuur!"
Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you're not sure if she's the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss them on the cheek anyway.

You enter a family party and you "Mano" to half the old crowd
and when you leave you have to say goodbye to everyone that's related to you as a sign of respect.
You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.

There's at least one or more with the name: JP, JJ, JT, TJ, DJ, AJ, RJ, LJ, Ginging, Lingling, Bingbing, Tingting, Dingding, Wengweng, Bongbong, Dongdong etc.

Relatives/friends will ask you where you work and if it's a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they'll ask if you can get them a discount.

The Manny Pacquiao fight is on the (illegal) cable boxes on the 70" LCD in the movie room,
the 10-year-old 50" CRT in the living room, the 15-year-old 30" tube in the breakfast nook,
the 20-year-old 15" tube in the kitchen, and the 30-year-old 13" tube in the garage,
and the little portable by the BBQ grill, because...

TVs are never retired in a Filipino household. They merely get demoted to whichever room doesn't have a TV yet. Next it ends up in the balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, where it ends up being the main TV at the house again.

And on the stereo, they play "Achy-breaky Heart" over and over and over again. Oh Filipino...!!!

Now that you're in the mood, how about a look at the famous Filipino dance, Tinikling, as performed by the Fiesta Filipina Dance Troupe.



For my money [dollars or pisos? Ed.], Fiesta Filipina is one of the best Filipino dance troupes in the world! They are based in... wait for it... Toronto, and appear every July at the Carabram multiculti festival in neighbouring Brampton ON. Agent 1 tells me Carabram isn't a patch on what it used to be, but there's always good food and a great show at the Philippines pabilion.

Kerry for State Secy? Really??!!

Yesterday, the Prez nominated Sen. John Kerry to replace the departing Secretary of State, Hellery Clinton. Another triumph for political correctness and the Democratic Party.

Of course Obama could have done better. Kerry was not his first choice. He really wanted to appoint a black woman, viz. Susan Rice. If Ms Rice had only been disabled or a lesbian, the Prez could have hit the Trifecta there.

Sadly, Ms Rice blotted her copybook by her inept handling of State's reaction to the Benghazi "incident" -- the terrorist attack that she tried to pass off as a protest against an insensitive video. If she had told the truth, Obama wouldn't have had to tell a lie -- so goes the reasoning -- thus she must walk the plank.

That leaves us with Kerry, the former Democratic presidential candidate who couldn't manage to defeat the most-reviled Republican since Herbert Hoover.

Kerry's chief qualification, according to Obama, is that he won't need "much" on-the-job training. That's because he's been doing dippy [= diplomatic. Ed.] stuff for decades, and knows how all that unpleasantness should be handled. Right?

Errr, maybe not. Did John Kerry learn anything from his OTJ training in the Philippines in 1986? Then and there, Senator Kerry was a member of the US Congressional observer team sent to monitor the country's presidential election, in which Corazon Aquino was trying to oust the thoroughly corrupt orifice, Ferdinand Marcos.

P.J. O'Rourke happened to be present at the Thrilla in Manila. [Wasn't that something else? Ed.] Here's what he wrote in Rolling Stone.
Most of the Potomac Parakeets were a big disappointment. Massachusetts senator John Kerry was a founding member of the Vietnam Veterans Against the War, but he was a bath toy in this fray.

On Sunday night...thirty of the computer operators from [the elections oversight commission] walked off the job, protesting that vote figures were being juggled. Aquino supporters...took the operators, most of them young women, to a church, and hundreds of people formed a protective barrier around them. One of Cory Aquino's top aides [went] to the Manila Hotel.... She came back with Kerry, who did nothing.

Kerry later said that he didn't talk to the COMELEC employees then because he wasn't allowed to. This is ridiculous. He was ushered into an area that had been cordoned off from the press and the crowd and where the computer operators were stitting. To talk to the women, all he would have had to do was raise his voice.... But all Kerry did was walk around like a male model in a concerned and thoughtful pose.

Aha! Exactly the kind of posturing required of a Secretary of State! What O'Rourke condemns is what Obama sees as the best of all qualifications -- the ability to look concerned but do nothing.
Not much on-the-job training required. Indeed. Just the guy we want!

Footnote: P.J. O'Rourke's assessment of Kerry (as he was 26 years ago) was excerpted from "Goons, Guns and Gold", which originally appeared in Rolling Stone, and was reprinted in Republican Party Reptile, reviewed here on November 22nd.

Ma Bell wakes up at last

Agent 3 grew up (more or less) in southern Ontario in the days when the Bell Telephone Co. was the only telecommunications game in town. They provided very good telephone service -- no TV, no internet -- at reasonable rates. If there was a problem, you called the local operator who fixed it or sent someone out.

Then came the telecommunications explosion: the internet, cable TV, wireless, mobile phones and other electronic gizmos which are supposed to improve communications around the world and right around home. Unless, that is, you're trying to communicate with your service provider.

Gone are the days when you could dial "0" and talk to a real person, maybe even a neighbour. First we had the late unlamented Emily, an automaton who, although she didn't understand very well, at least spoke with a good North American accent. Then came outsourcing.

Having spent many years overseas before returning to Canada in the mid-90s, Agent 3 thought he could cope reasonably well with unfamiliar accents and vocabularies such as might be uttered by native speakers of Swahili, Chinese or even British English. But he hadn't recked with Bell's "service personnel" in India or the vicissitudes of "Indian English". (If you doubt there is such a thing, consult The Oxford Companion to the English Language.)

To avoid having an apoplectic fit, Agent 3 resorted to dialling "2" for service in French. That used to get you someone in Montréal who could be persuaded to switch to English. No more. The best ploy now, for internet service, is to chat online. If you can see on your screen what they're trying to say, usually you can figure it out.

The problem with the unintelligble accents of the Indians was getting so bad that other telecoms companies started to advertise "Canada-based service operators"!

You will understand Agent 3's reluctance, then, to sign on for Bell TV. Finally he did so, all the while dreading the day when he would have to make a service call. Last night the screen went black during the Canadiens game, so he had no choice but to pick up the phone and call 1-888-SKY-DISH. (Well, he might have tried trouble-shooting himself, but Agent 3 is a Luddite.)

Imagine Agent 3's surprise when the phone was answered on the second ring (after pressing "1" for service in English) by a pleasant-voiced young lady who spoke clear Canadian English! She got to the bottom of the problem quickly too, and walked 3 through the reset process in time to see the next goal.

Suitably impressed, Agent 3 asked the young lady if she was in Montreal or Toronto, only to be told that she was in Manila! How about that! So it seems that Ma Bell, never the first with the best, has finally figured out that there are alternatives to the cheapest outsourced workers.

Maybe they're paying the Filipinos a little more, but they'll reap the reward in customer satisfaction with the service experience. There's more to service than fixing the problem. As advertising guru David Ogilvy said, "the customer should get a first-class ride to his destination". It seems Ma Bell has at last listened to its customers' demands for just that!

Land of disasters

No, we're not speaking of Toronto sports teams. I mean real disasters, natural disasters: hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, wildfires, and of course typhoons. No country that I know of is more afflicted by these things than the Philippines.

The Pilipino national anthem begins (in English) "Land of the morning", but I think "Land of disasters" would be a more accurate soubriquet. You name it, they've got it. Not just natural disasters but manmade ones, like ferry sinkings, too. Yet in the face of one calamity after another, Pilipinos remain, in my observation, cheerful and optimistic.

And they always manage to survive. The Philippines is a nation of survivors. But that doesn't mean they don't need outside help.

Right now Pilipinos are suffering from the worst flooding seen since the 1960s, resulting from a tropical storm which swept across the northern islands a couple of days ago. You've probably seen video clips on TV. If you would like to do something to help the 1000s of displaced and afflicted families, you can send a donation through the Canadian or US Red Cross.

Click here to visit the Canadian Red Cross's web page on Asian typhoons. You'll find a link you can use to make a donation online. The people of the land of disasters will thank you, and God will bless you for your charity.