WINNING! "The war is over!" POTUS orders 5000 troops back to USA

Just ahead of next week's 81st anniversary of V-E Day, President Trump announed that 5000 American troops will be withdrawn from Germany. "We won the war!" POTUS said. "The Krauts will never be able to have nuclear weapons -- not ever! Our mission of making the world a safer place is accomplished. So our brave men and women and others can come home to the welcome they deserve!"

In social media posts on Thursday, President Trump said German chancellor Friedrich Merz was "doing a terrible job" and had "problems of all kinds", including on immigration and energy, but that the US of A was tired of helping them and wouldn't waste any more money and lives doing so. The President has also suggested pulling American troops from Italy and Spain. 

In a statement, Pentagon spokesman Sean Parnell said the order to remove American troops from Germany had come from Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth. "This decision follows a thorough review of the Department's force posture in Europe and is in recognition of theatre requirements and conditions on the ground," he said. "We expect the withdrawal to be completed over the next six to twelve months."

German Defence Minister Boris Pistorius told the German Press Agency in Berlin that "the presence of American soldiers in Europe, and particularly in Germany, is in our interest and in the interest of the US." He added that the American withdrawal from Europe and also from Germany "foreseeable".

Reichskanzler Merz [no relation to Fred Mertz of the old I Love Lucy show. Ed.] added "Auf wiedersehen, sweethearts!"