Two funny signs in under a week!

Hard on the heels of this one comes this one, advertising a prominent property and insurance litigation practice based (we believe) in Houston TX.

Thanks and a tip of the fedora to Agent 34. Lang may yer lum reek!

True Signs Dept.: Catholic Faith summarized in four words

An assiduous reader sent us this one but didn't disclose the location of this Holy Trinity Church. (There are so many!) Anyone who knows the address is asked to put it in the comments box, which will open if you click on the headline.

Are these warnings really necessary?

A lot of the snivel servants who make up the ever-expanding nanny state have nothing better to do than mandate warnings about health and safety issues, for the benefit of inDuhviduals (Scott Adams coined that word) who are totally lacking in common sense. Like these.

To be fair, some of these are in response to outrageous awards given by (mostly) American courts for pain, suffering, and emotional distress caused by such things as burning the tongue on a McDo's apple pie fresh out of the microwave. I blame greedy, ambulance-chasing, tort lawyers like the infamous Jackie Chiles. A pox on them and their equally greedy inDuhvidual clients.

A hidden gem spotted in Hereford, England

Those who remember My Fair Lady, the movie version of George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion, may recall hearing the phrases "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" and "In Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen". 

Those lines are not in the original version of Pygmalion, but are heard in the 1938 movie version. According to The Disciple and His Devil, the biography of Gabriel Pascal by his wife Valerie, it was he who introduced the famous phonetic exercises into the script of the film. Both were4 later used in the song in My Fair Lady.

[Where are you going with this? We haven't got all day! Ed.] OK, OK... I wanted to mention Hereford because Agent 34 has sent us an interesting photo from All Saints Church, which has been a focus of Hereford life for over 800 years.

When you visit -- and I know you'll want to -- be sure to look carefully at the interior decorations, which include this gem of medieval carving.

According to 34, this went undiscovered for centuries, until five years ago a  higher floor was built to accommodate a restaurant, with new, bright lighting added to dispel the medieval gloom. He didn't say if there's a dimmer switch!

What's doing at YOUR church?

Agent 34, PBUH, sent these along to show us why Catholic churches generally avoid installing advertising billboards.

We meant to run these on Sunday but were preoccupied with events in Europe. Entries to Walt's True Signs and Other Stuff competition are always welcome: walt.whiteman@yahoo.com.

You Can't Fix Stupid Dept.

While we wait for South Carolina to put the last nail in the Birdbrain's coffin (lifetime pct .983), we present an item from Walt's large collection of stories that make one think "Thank goodness I'm not that stupid!" 

Authorities in Colorado have confirmed the death of a 34-year-old local resident four days after he was bitten by one of his two pet Gila monsters. 

Gila monster bites are not normally fatal to humans. But Dr Nick Rivera [Ed. Please check last name -- could be Brandehoff] a medical toxicologist and reptilian expert, told CBS News Colorado that the victim may have suffered an allergic reaction. 

The last human death from such a bite is believed to have been in 1930. That incident "was not even a medical journal case," said the good doctor. "The vast majority of bites cause local swelling and bleeding," he said.Dr Brandehoff added that last week's death "highlights that any venomous animals should be respected". 

The victim reportedly owned two of the carnivorous reptiles. Gila monsters are the largest lizards in the US of A and can grow to about 22 inches in length, according to the Smithsonian Institution. They are named after the Gila River. The creature that bit the unidentificed Jefferson County man last week was a juvenile, only 12 inches long. 

It is illegal to own Gila monsters in Colorado without a licence. Tarantulas are OK though. The animal lover had two of those.  

The Jefferson County coroner's office has performed an autopsy but is conducting additional toxicology testing to determine a precise cause of death. A Colorado Parks and Wildlife criminal investigator told CBS his team had been asked to remove the two Gila monsters from the home.

They will be taken to a "wildlife rehab"* in another state, but the lizard that bit the man will first be transported to a lab at the University of Northern Colorado, where its venom will be extracted and studied to learn more about why its bite led to its owner's death.

* Note from Ed.: I'm not sure what a "wildlife rehab" is. Sounds like somewhere you go to dry out after a wild weekend.

True Stuff Dept.: Suspicions about politicians confirmed

Later this month, municipal elections will be held in beautiful (it really is!) Wellington County ON. "Vote for" signs are already marring the landscape. These two were spotted by an assiduous reader, and submitted to Walt's ongoing "True Stuff" competition.

All credit to Ms Flake and Mr Liebig for standing for election, in spite of their names. Walt wishes them Well ington (geddit?) Thanks to our reader, and don't forget to vote!