Fauci fails to make it into the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions

Scraped from the Babylon Bee, of course!

And now, a word from our sponsor

Remembering Bob and Ray, the greatest radio comedians of all time.

MUSIC VIDEO for all Beach Boys fans

Thanks and a tip o' the toque to Agent 3 for sending this along.

Neologisms of the year

No, this isn't a Wally award, although we do admit we wish we'd thought of it. Credit to the loony lefties at the Washington Post.

And credit (limit $1.98) also to the snowbound scamp, Agent 34.

NAUGHTY VIDEO: Canuck Conservative riffs on Liberal promises

Speaking at an event in Toronto yesterday, the Hon. Pierre Poilievre, leader of His Majesty's Loyal Opposition (the Conservative Party of Canada) told a little joke about why a bride was still a virgin in spite of three previous marriages.

If rumors that the Natural Governing Party plan to call a snap election after dropping a record deficit budget next Tuesday prove true, `ti-Pierre will have plenty of opportunities to hone his stand-up shtick on stumps from coast to coast to coast of Canuckistan. But can he make the frostbacks laugh hard enough to actually get up off their chesterfields [American readers can look that up. Ed.] and vote the rascals out?

VIDEO: A word from our sponsor

What are YOUR plans for the 4th of July?

Today the Babylon Bee reveals 

How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July

Hey, it's their story. Click on the link to read it. Walt especially likes #9.

While we digest the latest on the Trump tariffs...

...here's something completely different.

Tom Swift was a character, in pre-war books for boys like Tom Swift and His Electric Flying Machine". Tom never just said anything. He said it in a certain way, defined by an adverb. Examples: 

"Where's my favourite newsmagazine?" said Tom timelessly. 

"Who publishes Time and Life?" asked Tom loosely. 

Here's more.

I hope Walt will return soon, said Ed. shorthandedly.

Strong entry for the Wally Award for Year's Best Meme

 From the Memesters Union on The Patriot Post. Had me LMAO and ROFL!

To those wondering when Walt is going to write something meaningful, apologies. I'm waiting for one of several "other shoes" to drop. Stay tuned.

What makes us human?

VIDEO: George Carlin deconstructs "airline English"

The only mistake I've made so far today was watching the noon noos. Not that there was anything horrifying except for the inevitable DEI weather person talking about yet another "rain event", expected any time now. That reminded me of a rant George Carlin did some years ago on English as she is spoke in airports and airplanes. Here `tis.

VIDEO: The art of carefully balancing your diet

Meet Zhou Baizhou, the leading proponent of the Chinese system of balancing one's diet. It's like yin and yang. A little of this, a little of that, then repeat. Do this and you will lead a long and healthy life. 

I went to visit my own doctor -- Jack Daniels is his name -- and he told me that if I followed this diet I will live to 60. "I'm already 60!", I told him. "See?" he said, "What'd I tell ya!"

   

Thanks and a tip o' the toque to Agent 6, who has his snow tires on, I hope.

VIDEO: What Joe Biden got for his birthday

Thanks to Greg Gutfeld for letting us know -- honestly, we hadn't noticed -- that President Brandon celebrated his 82nd birthday yesterday. There was no party at the White House, because they couldn't get fire insurance. All those candles you know. But everyone involved in the Dimocrats' shocking loss on November 5th sent gifts....

 

Ha ha. Very funny, Doctor Jones. But allow me this note of concern. While Senile Joe was celebrating, or sleeping, or whatever he did, the Cackler buggered off to Hawaii, along with her gentleman consort. That leaves the country in the charge of whom? 

Wasn't it just a couple of months ago that Nancy Pelosi,  George Clooney et al told us that Brandon was unfit to continue his campaign? Are we to believe that he suddenly got fit again, and will be able to do the necessary should (for example) the Russians send an ICBM in the direction of Washington? Just askin'....

VIDEO: Matt Taibbi and Walt talk about Tampon Tim and man stuff

This is a follow-up to "The video challenging 'real men' to vote for Harris", WWW 11/10/24. It seems that the Awalz part of the Dumbocrat campaign is tasked with bringing in the vote of "real men" -- blue-collar workers with hairy chests and sweaty balls. Joe Sixpack, the Marlboro Man, Dirty Harry -- those guys. That was what that "Man enough" ad was all about.

Now there's another one, produced by the same people, called "And Tim", featuring Tampon Timmy Walz, the Great Manly Hunter. It's even funnier than the previous one, and in this vlog, Matt Taibbi and Walter Kim [no relation to Walt Whiteman. Ed.] explain why.  It's a looooong video, but after five minutes you'll want to watch the whole thing.

I wondered, as I watched it, if there's something wrong (physically) with Matt Taibbi. (His mental acuity is obviously fine.) I stopped following MT when he wrote Smells Like Dead Elephants, but have started paying attention again now that he has come over to our side.

I note that Mr Taibbi is wearing a baseball cap, and his voice sounds kinda shaky. I wonder if he is suffering from some disease. Could be cancer. Chemotherapy would cause him to lose his hair. Or, given his sexual orientation, it could be HIV-AIDS. Hmmm. I wouldn't wish such things on anyone, and wish Matt a good recovery from whatever's ailing him.

What's doing at YOUR church?

Agent 34, PBUH, sent these along to show us why Catholic churches generally avoid installing advertising billboards.

We meant to run these on Sunday but were preoccupied with events in Europe. Entries to Walt's True Signs and Other Stuff competition are always welcome: walt.whiteman@yahoo.com.

In times like these...

...we need all the laughs we can get. Here are two excellent funny bits sent along by Agent 9, to whom Walt would tip his biretta, if he had one. [You don't have a gun? Ed.] 

This one is a rare two-fer... a two puns for one!

Walt is awaiting the conclusion of the show trial, and predicts an acquittal. Why? Because (according to our legal beagle) the offence has to prove that the "hush money" was paid to cover up a crime. 

But so far there has been lots of evidence of President Trump's dalliance with the slutty lady, but no evidence of any crime! If having sex outside the bounds of matrimony were a crime, the majority of "our crowd" would have been in the crowbar hotel long ago. 

Lifetime pct .988. Get yer bets down now, at the usual address.

Funny headlines department

It's hard being an editor. Sometimes you really have to think about possible alternative interpretations of what the ink-stained wretch puts on your desk.

Thanks and a tilt of the eyeshade to Agent 34.

Christmas clearance sale - 1980s NATIONAL LAMPOON

We pause now for a word from our esteemed sponsor. (We call  him that because he's really esteemed about the Canuck Freedom Convoy!) 

He's just listed dozens of used copies of National Lampoon, the Adult Humor Magazine, from 1980 through 1985, in lots of three or four for only $5.00 or $6.00 plus S&H. 

Click here for details of the package shown in the photo. 

When you buy, be sure to tell `em Walt sent ya! We don't get a commission, but every now and then CJ feeds Walt's kitty, if you know what we mean.

Amusing (?) footnote: Our sponsor reports that Facebook Marketplace won't take these listings, which they say violate their blue-stocking "community standards". Don't know which community they live in, but apparently nothing is funny there!

Sunday Funnies

Cazart! AP calls Democrat Catherine Cortez Masto the winner of the Nevada Senate race. Apparently a truckload of... wait for it... mail-in ballots arrived in the dark of night, putting the lady on top of Adam Laxalt [Where are you going with this? Ed.] by about 6666 votes. Hm. 

Apparently the truck came from Las Vegas. Hm. I can't help but thinking of the fictional Nevada Senator Pat Geary (played by G.D. Spradlin) in The Godfather Part II. 

Although AP shows the Senate standings tied at 48-48, with Alaska and Georgia to be finalized, in practice, counting in the "Independent" Bernie Sanders, and Vice-President Harris' casting vote in the event of a tie, it looks as if the Democrats will be in control of the Senate. So Americans can look forward to two years of Congressional stalemate.

Two years of wrangling, two years of stagnation, two years of frustration. Not a pleasant thought for a Sunday morning, so fuggedabahtit for now. Here's a brilliant bit of humour from English comic actors Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.

Further viewing: The two starred in the cult classic Bedazzled, which you can find on YouTube if you look. It's worth watching just to see Raquel Welch as Lillian Lust!

New from our sponsor: Queen Elizabeth II "Loyal Jubilee Album"

We appreciate the continued support of our sponsor's WebStore. Here's their latest offering.

From the British satirical magazine PRIVATE EYE, 8 pages of covers and cartoons, published in 2012 for the Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II. An affectionate look back. 

Delivered as an e-file for just two bucks. Click here to buy. Tell `em Walt sent ya!