What's in a name?

The surprise (?) appearance of Meghan Markle at the memorial for the victims of the Uvalde school massacre -- see this morning's update to yesterday's post --  has the Internet ablaze with rumours that the Princess of Woke, tired of being a nobody, is planning a run for a high elected office in 2024.

How high would the office have to be to get Ms Markle to give up her position as Duchess of Sussex. Let's see... Governor of California? Not enough? How about President of the Excited States of America? Kamala Harris, who is poisesd to succeed Sleepy Joe Brandon, must be quaking in her boots to find a younger Person of Colour thinking of throwing her do-rag in the ring. 

It is said that Ms Markle has the Clintons and the Obamas behind her, so if she wants to go, she can rely on the power of their names. Names can mean a lot... or nothing at all... as Walt found reading "What's in a name?", a section of the "All-new True Facts 1985" issue of National Lampoon "the Humor Magazine for Adults", now on sale in our sponsor's Webstore. Here are just three of 20 True Names.

Jaguar Ferrari Tonniges, of Lincoln NE, named his newborn son Austin Healy Tonniges, carrying on a family tradition begun by his father, who named his children after his favorite sports cars. Besides Jaguar Ferrari, twenty-three, the elder Tonniges has two other children, Lancia Lemans, twenty-two, and Aston Martin, eighteen.

Dr Ngozi Aa-Anubiaimhotepokorohamz, of Raleigh NC, gave her newborn son eight thousand names, which she claims is a world's record. Reported the child's complete name will fill thirty-four single-spaced typewritten pages.

The baby's name will start with Dr Semaj (the first five letters of his names are "James" spelled backward), followed by the names of several world heads of state, a few historical names, some ancestral names, some names of people who might influence the child's life, and the mathematical term "pi". The baby's name begins with "Dr", the mother said, "to emphasize the importance of a name."

Aal-Anubiaimhotepokorohamz and her husband changed their names and those of their children three years ago. They used to be named McGirt.

A twenty-three-year-old man was arrested in London, England, for blocking traffic outside Parliament while he played the clarinet for twoo hundred fellow demonstrators. The demonstration was in opposition to the arrival of American nuclear weapons in Great Britain, explained Martin Felix Oddsocks McWeirdo El Tutti Fruiti Farto Hello Hippopotamus Bum.

Just in case you think they made this stuff up, each item has a citation. Truth is stranger (and often funnier) than fiction. If you decide to buy something from our sponsor's collection of National Lampoon mags and Doonesbury books, tell `em Walt sent ya!