Monday, December 10, 2012

More products for the hopelessly fat

Creating merchandise specifically designed for the fat, the obese and the gigantic is nothing new. Marketers long ago learned to live off the fat of the land, so to speak, designing and promoting such fat-friendly products as fat pens for sausage-like fingers, bowed shower-curtain rods, and, yes, plus-size coffins.

The other day, in the middle of Judge Judy [You watch that?! Ed.] Walt saw a commercial for yet another porker-specific product. Now you can be fat but fashionable in... Pajama Jeans!

Apparently these have been around for a couple of years, but since I politely look the other way when I see a behemoth approaching, I never noticed them before. I'm not surprised, though, that a clever marketer has tapped into a deeply perceived need.

The problem for the BBWs -- I don't want to even think of a man wearing these -- is that they can't get into the skinny jeans that are all the rage at the moment. (I know the ads show women with slim(ish) figures, but let's not kid ourselves.) The alternative, then, would be sweat pants and you certainly see lots of tubs waddling around in those. But to wear sweat pants or track pants out of doors is to admit that you've given up fighting the battle of the bulge.

So, voilà... The perfect style solution for the larger lady. They come in a wide range [Geddit? Ed.] of sizes: petite, small, medium, large, XL and American. They're nice and stretchy, the better to show the amplitude of milady's curves. And they're fleece-lined so she doesn't have to wear "body-shaping underwear" (for better or worse, as the "Fabuliss" review says).

Walt's review: I hope I never see a woman clad in Pajama Jeans...outdoors, indoors or in the window. They are worse than low-class! Pajama Jeans are NO-class! Doubtless they will be hugely popular [Geddit? Ed.] in the mid-west and the BBBW community.

Memo to self: Ask broker to see if The Vermont Teddy Bear Company Inc. is publicly traded.

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