Mickey's army

Haitian pop star Mickey "Mouse" Martelly was officially sworn in as President of Haiti yesterday. The lights and audio went out several times during the ceremonies, but rumours of a coup turned out to be unfounded.

The new administration has a few, errr, challenges to sort out. There are still well over half a million people living in squalid camps. A cholera epidemic threatens to spread during the upcoming rainy and hurricane seasons. The legal system is in a state of collapse.

And, in spite of years of investment and training (by the Canadian Mounties, among others) "the police are not well equipped and don’t have the means to be apolitical. They are badly paid and sometimes neglected, which leads them astray." So said the prez himself.

So what's first on Sweet Mickey's list? Why, building a new army, of course! The previous discredited army was disbanded in 1995 by ousted former president Jean-Bertrand Aristide.

The new army is intended to replace the UN force presently on what's left of the ground in Haiti. The UN force is known as MINUSTAH. It's not known whether this is the local pronunciation of "minister" or an acronym for "Minus The Army of Haiti".
Whatever it's called, the UN troops -- from places such as Nepal -- are tired of being blamed for rape and looting and the spreading of disease, and are going home.

A rebuilt Haitian police force was supposed to take over, but the new president seems to think a good strong army would be better. Not everyone agrees. Many Haitians associate the military with a leading role in political violence under former dictators "Papa Doc" and "Baby Doc" Duvalier, as well as in subsequent coups.

Although it's not clear -- nothing in Haiti is clear -- if a new army will actually be built, dozens of young men are already volunteering their services, according to a report in the Toronto Star.

On a hillside by the sea, past crumpled houses and a graveyard, more than 100 of them line up, stomachs in, chests out, as men who claim to be generals and sergeants from the former army shout military commands.

None boasts a uniform, but many sport hand-painted T-shirts with the letters “FADH” across the front, short for Haiti’s Demobilized Armed Forces. They all voted for Martelly, hoping to soon be re-employed.

Meanwhile, the reconstruction effort continues at a desultory, barely perceptible pace. But yes, Haiti will have its own army...pretty soon. Sweet Mickey has even picked out a name -- "tontons macoutes".