And don't forget the boat!

There's more to "the great fake lake caper".

What would a lake be without a boat? Turns out -- at least according to Liberal MP Siobhan Coady -- that there's a big ole steamboat, the SS Bigwin, rusting away in one of the lakes in the Muskoka riding of Conservative Industry Minister Clement Clement.

So, as long as we're splashing a couple of mill for a lake [geddit? ed.] why don't we fix up that leaking boat too? It'll only cost another $400,000 or so.

Of course we wouldn't actually be able to bring the boat into the Media Centre in Toronto in time for the G20, but the world leaders attending the G8 could maybe go for a little toot around the lake. And we could take pictures of it and put them in our press kits. So it wouldn't be a waste. Right guys?... Guys?....

Walt's source inside the Harper cabinet reports that the idea was about to be torpedoed [geddit? ed.] until Defence Minister Peter McHackey threw out a lifeline. [Stop torturing the metaphor! ed.] After the summit, the SS Bigwin could be renamed the HMCS Bigwin and attached to the Royal Canadian Navy for service in Afghanistan!

"But... errr... isn't Afghanistan landlocked?" asked Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence "Loose" Cannon. Said Harpoon, "Either stay on the message or shut up! If we don't all swim together, then we'll sink!"