Queen of the Franco-phonies loses job but keeps her head

Whatever happened to Michaëllel Jean? That's the question more than one Canadian [How many more? Ed.] has asked about the former Governess-General of Canuckistan, whose term in office expired in 2010, to the relief of Canadians generally and the Liberal government of the day in particular.

As Walt explained in "A Haïtienne who won't be feeling too much pain" (13/1/10), the lovely and fragrant Ms Jean was (supposedly) a "refugee" from Haïti -- this was before the big earthquake -- who came to Canada as a teen and immediately attracted the attention of an older white guy (surprise!) who married her and got her a job at Radio Canada (the French arm of the CBC). Liberal Prime Minister Paul Martin named her as the representative of Her Britannic Majesty because she (Ms Jean) was: a black, female "refugee", who was bilingual and a certified member of Canada's chattering classes. Too bad she wasn't disabled, but 5 out of 6 ain't bad.

The big question in 2010 was what to do with Ms Jean after her term as G-G expired? She had acquired a taste for the perqs of the vice-regal style -- the mansion, the limousine, the servants, and her very own regiment of soldiers. Hard to go back to living like a peasant. So favours were called in and, following the disastrous earthquake of 12 January 2010, Madame Jean (as she became) was appointed the United Nations "Special Ambassador for Haïti", to help raise money for the people of that wretched country.

Mme Jean immediately went to, errr, Paris, to establish an office and a residence suitable to her new position and regal lifestyle. After that she appeared on TV a few times -- notably on the CBC, of course -- but if she ever set her dainty feet in the dust of her native land, her visit went unrecorded. Ed. has asked Dr Google who has come up with nothing.

But every cloud has a silver lining. Since she was already comfortably ensconced in Paris, Mme Jean immediately began campaigning for a better job. With the support of both Canada and Québec, she was elected in 2014 as Secretary-General of la Francophonie, an international talking shop which likes to think of itself as the French equivalent of the British Commonwealth. Since the Franco-phony's mission is to talk and talk (in French) and do nothing (in any language), Mme Jean was the perfect fit.

Just as the British Commonwealth has its queen, so la Francophonie now had its queen, or empress... whatever... Mme Jean immediately moved into more palatial digs, racking up queen-sized expenses befitting her status. After all, the surrender-monkeys surely wouldn't want the head of their "organization" to lack anything that the British monarch had, would they?

After four years of wretched excess, Mme Jean's term came to an end this month. To no-one's surprise, Mme Jean refused to go gracefully, and campaigned hard for a second term, even though she was considered a long shot. She appealed to Canada and Québec for their support, and thought she had Canada's ultra-liberal Prime Minister Just In Trudeau -- an ardent feminist and admirer of non-white persons -- on her side.

Sadly for Mme Jean, she was wrong. Last Friday the member nations of la Francophonie, meeting in the well-known French-speaking nation of Armenia [Eh? Ed.], chose a Rwandan, Louise Mushikiwabo, as their new queen/empress/secretary-general. The Rwandan politician said she did not intend to make major changes to the direction of the organization, but she promised more transparency in its spending. Errr, yes....

Some observers have said Canada made a geopolitical calculation in abandoning Jean in favour of the African candidate, hoping it would help its bid for a seat on the United Nations Security Council in 2020. Mr Socks, however, denied that Canada abandoned Jean in exchange for African or French support for the Security Council bid, saying the government had wanted a second term for Jean.
"But at the same time we recognized — and it’s a question of simple math — that if there’s an African consensus around a particular candidate, we would respect that consensus," said the Canuck PM, who is himself likely to be turfed out in a year's time. "That is simply the way things unfolded." Errr, yes... yes indeed.

Going after Taliban was a mistake, sez former general

A lot of Americans (and Canadians) think that the Canadian Armed Forces kind of let the side down by withdrawing their half-dozen aging CF-18s from the US-led mission against ISIS. When it comes to fighting Islamic terrorism (their argument goes) the Canucks will hold your coat until your nose starts to bleed. This is not true. Let me set the record straight.

True, the government of Jean Chrétien declined to join in Dubya's invasion of Iraq, presumably because they thought it was a huge mistake but (being Canadian) wewre too polite to say more than "We'll take a pass on this one. Maybe next time." The wisdom of this decision is apparent in retrospect. If you don't find it so, take a look at Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11. You'll find a link to the full-length documentary in "Republican voters: WATCH 'Fahrenheit 9/11'!", WWW 17/2/16.

All the same, the Canadian government took a lot of flak -- figuratively speaking -- from within and without the Great Not-so-white North. So much so that when the Paranoid States of America decided to go into Afghanistan to chase after Osama Bin Laden and al-Qaeda, they decided they'd better get into the scrap to make up for missing the first round. Little did they know that they'd have to fight not just al-Qaeda but the Taliban, since the Taliban controlled huge swathes of Armpitistan, including Kandahar province, one of the toughest targets. Sure enough, that's where the Canucks wound up. They lost proportionately more soldiers than the USA, beginning with four killed by "friendly fire" from the USAF. Some friends, eh!

Major-General Dave Fraser (seen here getting a gong from former Governor-General Michaëlle Jean) commanded both the Canadian task force and the expanded mission of the "Coalition of the Willing" to extend the authority of former Afghan president Krazi Karzai beyond the capital of Kabul in 2006. That was just over 4 1/2 years into the Afghan war and three years into the larger, bloodier struggle in Iraq after the toppling of Saddam Hussein.

Today, in an interview marking the 10th anniversary of the Canadian deployment into Kandahar, Maj-Gen. Fraser had some rather astonishing things to say about the commission. He told Canadian Press that the West made a mistake deposing the Taliban regime in the aftermath of 9/11, and should have simply trained its guns on al-Qaeda. "We thought, naively, that regime change was the solution to the problem," he said. "Looking backwards, I would have actually left the Taliban government in power and said (to them) 'Stay out of the way. We’re here to find Al Qaeda. And as long as you stay out of the way, the special forces will go in there, they will do what is necessary to get Al Qaeda and we will leave.' Had we done that, we wouldn’t be where we are today."

Back then, no-one seemed to appreciate how profound the power vacuum was, he went on, and that the West was creating for itself "a 30- or 40-year problem" not only in Afghanistan but throughout the Middle East.

Maj-Gen. Fraser said the West has only repeated the same mistakes over the last decade. "We repeated it in Iraq," he told CP. "In Libya, we didn’t put any ground troops in and we created an even bigger mess because there’s no government whatsoever in Libya. We went back into Iraq and now for the very first time the international community is beginning to appreciate that regime change is not the solution. [That's] why we’re not pushing to do a regime change in Syria."

Right. Has anyone told the Prez, the Pentagon and the folks at Foggy Bottom about this? To take Maj-Gen. Fraser's argument to the logical conclusion, which is... wait for it... that Western meddling in what is basically a Muslim civil war is only making things worse for the people of the Middle East, and for the West as well? Has anyone learned anything from the events of the last 10 or 20 or 25 years? Errr, apparently not.

Footnote: Is Michaëlle Jean's ADC looking at her chest or what? Whatever happened to Her Serene Highness anyway? Last we heard she was swanning around Paris as the UN's "special ambassador" for her native Haïti. Is it possible she finally went home to share the misery of the poorest state of the Western Hemisphere? Errr, apparently not.

Democracy in dark countries - latest

Lovers of democracy and hip hop will be pleased to know that, according to the BBC, musician Michel "Sweet Micky" Martelly appears to have won the rerun of the Haitian presidential election.

He defeated ex-senator and former first lady Mirlande Manigat in a run-off held on March 20th. Turnout in the second round was higher than expected, approximating 120% of the number of registered voters, thus accounting for the delay in announcing the result.

It should be noted, though, that this is only a preliminary result. Officials are busy getting their stories straight, and the final tally is not expected until April 15th...give or take a week.

This is in keeping with Haitian tradition. The run-off was actually supposed to be held in January, but was delayed by the traditional frigging in the rigging. This time the cheating was much better organized, officials said. M. Martelly also benefitted from the support of five candidates eliminated in the first round, including his fellow musician Wyclef "Michaëlle" Jean.

Jude Celestin, who had the backing of outgoing President Rene Préval, took the largest share of the votes in the first round, but was persuaded to withdraw from the second heat. Former dictators ["presidents", surely! Ed.] "Baby Doc" Duvalier and Ex-Father Bertrand Aristide were likewise deterred from throwing their chapeaux into the ring.

Now that a new president is in place, Haiti's corruption, poverty and general misery will doubtless be forgotten as the streets of Port-au-Prince reverberate to the throb of the voodoo drums. Martelly rules!

"Baskethead" returns!

Incredible news from Haiti! Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, former dictator Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier returned Sunday, nearly 25 years after a popular uprising against his brutal dictatorship forced him into exile in France.

"Baby Doc" -- known previously as "Baskethead" -- succeeded his father, François Duvalier ("Papa Doc") who ruled Haiti from 1957 until 1971. Papa Doc's misrule was a paradigm of the African "big man" style, based on a purged military, a rural militia, a dreaded secret police force known as "les tontons macoutes", and the use of voodoo.

Papa Doc was elected "President for Life" in 1964, according to the same African-style democractic process which we saw on TV late last year -- mounds of marked ballots thrown on garbage heaps, ballot boxes disappearing, would-be voters harassed, etc.

Duvalier fostered a personality cult around himself, and claimed to be the physical embodiment of the island nation. He also started to revive the traditions of voodoo, which he used to consolidate his power. He claimed to be a houngan, or voodoo priest himself. In an effort to make himself even more imposing, Duvalier deliberately modeled his image on that of Baron Samedi, the voodoo loa of the dead (pictured right).

He often donned sunglasses to hide his eyes and talked with the strong nasal tone associated with the loa. The Duvalier regime propaganda even stated that "Papa Doc was one with the loas, Jesus Christ, and God himself". The most celebrated image from the time shows a standing Jesus Christ with hand on a seated Papa Doc's shoulder with the caption "I have chosen him. There was even a Duvalierist variant of the Our Father. Duvalier also held in his closet the head of his former opponent Blucher Philogenes who tried to overthrow him in 1963.

Turned out the "life term" lasted only eight years, as Papa Doc died in 1971, possibly of natural causes. He was succeeded by his son and heir, "Baskethead", seen here receiving his father's blessing.

Baby Doc was widely reviled for being a spoiled playboy and... errr... a "baskethead" (stupid, empty-headed person), and fled into exile in France shortly after his ascension. And now he has returned.

Those who understand Haitian/African culture and politics will not be surprised to learn that Baby Doc has been welcomed by cheering crowds, in spite of being part of a dynasty that presided over one of the blackest periods of Haitian history.

According to Associated Press, Duvalier's stunning arrival at the airport Sunday was as mysterious as it was unexpected. He did not say why he chose this tumultuous period to suddenly reappear from his exile in France, or what he intended to do while back in Haiti. “I'm not here for politics,” Duvalier told Radio Caraibes. “I'm here for the reconstruction of Haiti.”

It is rumoured that former president Jean-Bertrand Aristide will be the next to return to reclaim the throne [president's chair, surely. Ed.]. M. Aristide, a former priest who embraced "liberation theology", was deposed in a US-approved coup in 1994.

If Duvalier and Aristide see an opportunity in Haiti, how can it escape the notice of Michaëlle Jean, the former Governor-General of Canada? Her Jeanness made herself mighty comfortable sitting on the vice-regal throne and is said to be ready to get on the next plane from her Park Avenue suite just as soon as the presidential palace is suitably refurbished.

Canada set to fix flawed Haitian election

Today's Globe and Mail reports that "Call me Steve" Harper is considering sending his fixers to show the Haitians how to run an election that gets the result you want without a lot of unseemly rioting in the streets.

Exactly who will be sent is something of a mystery. Her Jeanness, the former Governor-General, is already the UNESCO Special Envoy to Haiti (her homeland), but seems to be fully occupied with her onerous duties in, errr, New York.

It's unusual for Walt to pick up a comment from a reader of another website, but the following, from "Moerbrugge", was appended to the G&M article, and says it all better than I can.

Well certainly all the help - and billions of taxpayers dollars - we have sent to Haiti in the past has made things better.

I rate Haiti just behind Afghanistan as Canada's foreign intervention triumph - Canada's has really made a difference. Both countries are enjoying a period of peace prosperity and good governance thanks to our efforts.

In particular the police forces and military of these two countries have benefited from Canadian training and expertise and are functioning at a high level of efficiency and probity.

You can almost feel the gratitude.

Canada closes embassy in Haiti

Canada has closed its embassy in the strife-torn capital of Haiti, Port-au-Prince. The embassy will remain shuttered "until further notice" because of riots and protests following the release of presidential election results. (See previous post.)

A spokesthingy for the Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade (DEFAIT -- check your French dictionary) says "We would have closed up sooner, maybe just after the earthquake, but we had Michaëlle Jean coming, so someone had to be there to clean the red carpet. You know how it is, eh."

Democracy in dark countries - Part III

Meanwhile, Haiti also had an election on Nov. 28. The campaign was marked by the unrest (pardon the euphemism) and violence which have characterized elections in Zimbabwe and Côte d'Ivoire -- see today's earlier posts. In

In this case, the unpopular outgoing president, René Préval, was constitutionally barred from succeeding himself, let alone declaring himself president for life. (That had been done before.) But he had a hand-picked successor, Jude Célestin, who might have been a shoe-in but for little problems like the botched earthquake relief effort, an outbreak of cholera and the presence of UN troops (the ones who shat in the drinking water) who were there to ensure the voting could take place in circumstances of calm and fairness.

Candidates other than M. Célestin included former first lady Mirlande Manigat and popular carnival singer [??? rap artist, surely! Ed.] Michel "Sweet Micky" Martelly. Former Canadian Governor-General Michaëlle Jean somehow resisted pressure to run.

Not counting the 1000s of ballots found in gutters and garbage dumps, preliminary results of the voting had "Sweet Micky" second to Mme Manigat, with M. Célestin running a clsoe third. This presented a problem to the outgoing government, since the run-off election is supposed to be limited to the first- and second-place candidates only.

So guess what? A new result was announced. Célestin, it was said, had managed to pull ahead of Martelly at the last moment. Reaction of Micky's supporters was as swift as it was predictable.

Protesters set fire to the headquarters of Préval and Célestin's Unity party. Multiple fire trucks responded to the scene as flames licked the roof — an unusual scene in a country with few public services — but in late afternoon piles of charred campaign posters continued to smolder.

"We want Martelly. The whole world wants Martelly," said James Becimus, a 32-year-old protester. "Today we set fires, tomorrow we bring weapons." Other protesters said they would continue to mobilize but do so nonviolently.

For his part, "Sweet Micky" told his supporters yesterday afternoon to watch out for "infiltrators" who might try to incite violence. "Demonstrating without violence is the right of the people," he said. "I will be with you until the bald-head victory."

M. Préval, still president until the dust settles, had earlier urged the candidates to call off the protests. "This is not how the country is supposed to work," he said in a radio speech. "People are suffering because of all this damage."

Indeed. Haiti is not in Africa. It is, however, an African country which happens to find itself stranded on the other side of the Atlantic. All those involved in this farce are African, by which I mean black. Expect corruption, incompetence and chaos and you will not be disappointed.

Corruption in a time of cholera: update on Haiti

Did you give money to help the victims of the Haitian earthquake? If you're Canadian, you certainly did, whether you know it or not. About $220 million was raised through private donations to the Red Cross and other charities. The Canadian government -- sorry, Canadian taxpayers -- added $220 million. And now that a cholera epidemic is raging, they've kicked in another $5 million or so.

That makes $445,000,000 in Canadian aid money which is supposed to be helping the most impoverished and disaster-stricken country in the western hemisphere. Is it?

No need to send your answer to Walt on the back of a postage stamp. Yesterday, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation aired a good exposé on where your aid money is going. Watch the video and you'll see a first-hand account -- just one of many -- of how some of your money is being paid directly to corrupt officials of the Haitian government. They're the ones getting fat off your generosity.

From other sources, Walt has learned that only about a third of the funds -- $146 million -- has actually been spent on disaster relief. And that includes the salaries and expenses of all the aid industry workers who are administering and delivering the relief services. Figures on the cost of that overhead are unavailable.

What of the nearly $300 million still in the bank? According to published reports, that's for "reconstruction", which of course can't begin until things settle down. That means having an election to throw out the rascals and bring in new rascals. (No, Wyclef Jean is not running. I'm talking about other rascals.)

It also means getting the cholera epidemic under control. Notice I didn't say eradicating cholera. Cholera is pandemic in Haiti as in many black countries where poverty goes hand in hand with insanitation and disease.

Where in all this, you might ask, is Michaëlle Jean, the Haitian-born woman of colour who spent too long as Canada's Governor-General? I'm happy to report that Her Jeanness landed with her brown bum in the butter. Shortly after being evicted from Rideau Hall she was appointed as UNESCO's "special representative to Haiti".

So she's in Haiti then? Errr, no. She's in New York at UNESCO HQ. But her staff says she's "fully engaged" with Haiti and will be going there "sometime in the future".

Update: Haiti

It's been 184 days since the most powerful earthquake of this century (so far) devastated much of the capital region of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. This was a Big Media Event and a really big opportunity for Western (and some Asian) governments and charities to rush to the rescue of the poor downtrodden Haitians.

Billions of dollars in aid was pledged. Charity concerts were held and televised. Protestant missionaries flocked to the island to thump their Bibles and rescue "orphan" children. Her Jeanness, the Governor-General of Canada cried on TV, and (after some snide comments from curmudgeons like Walt) finally went to tiptoe through the rubble of her hometown.

It all lasted, oh, about a month, and then, as Walt predicted, was forgotten. Canada's much ballyhooed "Jacmel project" is stalled. Less than half of the promised aid has actually been delivered. Of Haiti's 8.8 million people, some 2 million are still living on the streets, according to the Fides news agency.

You'll find that link and others in a recent post on the Catholic Culture website. Read the articles and try to understand that there are some awful situations that all the good will, all the charity and all the foreign aid in the world cannot remedy. The only hope for countries like Haiti is for their people, rather than holding out their begging bowls and waiting for "special envoys" to bring relief, should start by helping themselves.

A final (?) word on Haiti

We haven't heard much about Haiti, lately, have we? Her Jeanness, the Governor-General of Canada, finally made a quick trip to the homeland she left behind, and discovered that leaving it behind was the smart thing to do.

Some members of the Haitian diaspora have suggested that it would be a Good Thing if the lovely and fragrant Ms Jean went home when her term as G-G ends in a few weeks. She could be the new president, they said! It'll never happen, Walt says. It would mean the regal [vice-regal? ed.] First Lady would have to mingle with poor black folks. Yeah, right.

Meanwhile, the world's attention has turned elsewhere. The fundraisers and telethons and famous-people-to-the-rescue efforts have pretty much stopped. The flavour of the month has become the flavour of last month, and it seems we (meaning rich whites) are prepared to let Haiti slip back into the backwardness and poverty in which it has been mired for nearly two centuries.

"Most Canadians, not to mention Americans, could not locate Haiti on a map if given a pointer and a large crayon. It contains fewer people than New York City and yet rates huge headlines in all the best newsmagazines and your favorite morning paper.

"In reality, it is a piffle, no threat to world security, of no consequence to the average inhabitant of Omaha or Moose Jaw, and yet it makes it into every morning's 8 a.m. newscast. Why? Because modern technology...makes it possible. Because technology can make it possible, trivial news masquerades as importance.

"Haiti has no relevance to the world order. It is about as important as Yellowknife. But the New York Times -- and therefore the Globe and Mail -- puts Haiti on the front page. It is a joke."

What's that?! A racist rant from Rush Limbaugh? More of Walt's politically incorrect musings? No, dear reader. Those three paragraphs were written by one of Canada's leading journalists of the last century, Allan Fotheringham. The date of the piece? Not this past winter, but August 1, 1994. You could look it up.

Tomorrow... "Dr. Foth" elucidates the fuzzification.

Focus on "family planning" in Africa "insane", says African journalist

Following up my earlier post, I commend to you an article by Gaston Asitaki, an African journalist based in Kinshasa, in the so-called Democractic Republic of Congo. (This is one of the countries Her Jeanness, the Governor-General and First Lady of Canada, visited on her farewell tour earlier this month.)

Mr. Asitaki says that the intense focus of US foreign aid on expanding family-planning programs in the Democratic Republic of Congo is "certifiably insane." The urgent need for the country's impoverished people is an adequate supply of ordinary medicine. Antibiotics, he says, save lives...not condoms.

Click here to read "We need penicillin, not condoms, in central Africa".

Offence intended

We seem to be living -- in Canada even more so than in the U.S.A. -- in an age and a society where no-one should ever be offended by anything, anytime, anywhere. In one translation of the Our Father, we ask God to "pardon us our offences", and indeed, we seem to spend a lot of time apologizing, now, for any offence we might have caused, even inadvertently, by anything we say or do.

Walt will not apologize! There are, in my view, lots of people, organizations and institutions that richly deserve offence...and lots of it!

As W.S. Gilbert wrote "I've got a little list..." Except it's not so little, and it grows every day. If you click on any on Walt's list of tags -- anything from Ablonczy to Zimbabwe -- there's about a 50/50 chance that you'll be led to at least one offensive statement. I try to leave no sacred ox ungored and no latter-day saint unstoned. Everyone, especially those in the highest places, needs a good swift kick in the shorts occasionally.

Yet there are those who say that we shouldn't say unkind things about the Greatest Living American and Leader of the Free World, or the Governor-General of Canada who is a Credit to Her Race. Indeed, it's all we can do, these days, to mention that Mr. Obama and Ms. Jean are... er... black.

To those who think we ought no longer to mix vitriol with printer's ink, I commend this thought from The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ, by Philip Pullman:

“No one has the right to live without being shocked. No one has the right to live their life without being offended. Nobody has to read this book. Nobody has to pick it up. Nobody has to open it and if they open it and read it, they don't have to like it, and if you read it and dislike it, you don't have to remain silent about it. You can write to me to complain about it. You can write to the publisher. You can write to the papers. You can write your own book. You can do all those things, but there your rights stop. No one has the right to stop me writing this book. No one has the right to stop it being published or sold. Or bought or read.”

I have not read Mr. Pullman's book. From its title, I assume I would find it offensive. But, as he says, I don't have to read it. Nor would I try to stop its publication or ban its distribution. Nor would I report Mr. Pullman to one of our busybody human rights commissions. Let him say what he likes. Me too. That's what freedom of speech is all about.

Footnote: Where did I get the quote? From a fine piece by Tabatha Southey headlined "Canadian ruling on ‘offensive' comedy is a gag - but it's no joke", in the Globe & Mail April 2nd.

Harper: doncha Haiti him?

In all the fuss and fanfare surrounding the opening of the Oleolympics, you may not have noticed that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper took a few moments off from basking in the B.C. sunshine to visit Haiti, the rat-hole down which millions of taxpayers' dollars are currently being pounded.

As nearly as Walt could see from the video clips, "Call me Steve" was not accompanied by his other half. Nor did Her Jeanness, the Governor-General of Canada, make the trip, even though the tour included her hometown. Possibly Canada's first ladies find walking through the squalor distasteful.

Walt still hasn't heard exactly how big a cheque the lovely and fragrant Ms. Jean wrote for Haitian earthquake relief, but one would think that the G-G would have liked to see for herself how the many dollars [perhaps even in the 10s. ed.] which she has doubtless contributed are being spent.

She won't find out from Mr. Harpoon. Our fearless leader refused to answer questions from the media as to what he had seen through his dark [rose-coloured, surely? ed.] glasses. Did he see looting? Did he see people fighting over the aid packages? Did he see filth and poverty? Did he see any rebuilding done? We shall never know.

What he did see, evidently, was the outstretched hand of Haiti's politicians, for he graciously pledged twelve million taxpayers' dollars to build...wait for it...new government offices. Ah yes, a palace for the president. Just what Haiti needs. Walt wonders how many shelters for the homeless could have been built for $12,000,000. Shame.

Observations on Haiti

If you think Walt was hard on Michaëlle Jean, have a look at the comments sections in online stories in the press in which her connection with Haiti is mentioned. It's not just me. There is a lot of anti-Jean sentiment out there. Anti-monarchy sentiment too.

Granted, Her Jeanness managed to shed some tears on TV. She is an experienced TV presenter, remember? Cue the sobs and choked voice. But has she given Dollar One to the Haitian relief effort? Not publicly, at least.

Stephen Harper ought to be glad the earthquake struck Haiti, if only because it's pushed his campaign against democracy in Canada off the front pages. And he can say "See? If I'd done something really bad by suspending Parliament it would have been Ottawa!"

Finally, Walt notes that the refugee industry has gone straight from first to fourth gear with an alacrity greater than Mr. Harpoon's padlocking of the doors to the Centre Block. I saw a suggestion that Haiti be "temporarily" recognized as a province of Canada so all the dispossessed could come here without having to bother about nasty old immigration. A big thumbs down to that one.

Ditto the idea that the 1000s of refugee applications pending should be fast-tracked. I say that because I can't see the sense of moving Haiti's problems, which have existed for centuries, to Canada. We do not have the capacity (nor, I dare say, the will) to absorb 1000s of poor, uneducated and unskilled victims [vizmins? ed.] all in one fell swoop.

One more cynical thought. Once man finishes nature's job of levelling Port-au-Prince, there should be more room and lots of opportunity for the survivors. Let the dispossessed stay where they are and throw themselves into the job of reconstruction and development...with foreign aid that you and I pay for of course.

A Haitienne who won't be feeling too much pain

Walt is watching reports from Haiti, coverage of the disastrous earthquake that struck that poor country -- the poorest in the Western Hemisphere -- a couple of days ago. Walt is waiting to hear a comment -- any comment at all -- from one of the most famous daughters of Haiti, Michaëlle Jean. Where is she?

For those who think "Who is she?" might be a better question, I will elucidate. Michaëlle Jean is none other than the Governor General of Canada. She referred to herself as Canada's head of state, until reminded that actually Queen Elizabeth II is Canada's head of state, with Her Jeanness being only a proxy or agent.

The beautiful, talented and fragrant Ms Jean owes her appointment largely to the fact that it suited the impeccably PC Liberal government of Paul Martin to appoint a bilingual "woman of colour". The myth about her being a refugee who had made good in the world of journalism didn't hurt either.

It is a myth, you know. Far from being a barefoot girl who escaped from the slums of Petionville, Ms Jean was, in fact, the pampered darling of a well-to-do sugar daddy, who also happened to be a separatist. Through his connections Ms Jean landed a job with Radio Canada (a nest of separatists) where she did nothing to distinguish herself.

But it cannot be denied that Michaëlle was the right colour, from the right province, and looked good in photo ops. Thus she became Canada's stand-in monarch.

Where is she now? During her reign she has exhibited a fondness for swanning around the world, on the taxpayers' dime of course. When Prime Minister Harpoon wanted to prorogue Parliament, Her Jeanness had to be called back to Ottawa [from where? ed.] to give the royal assent. Where is she now?

Walt would also like to know exactly how much the G-G is going to contribute to the Haiti disaster relief fund. She draws a pretty good salary, not forgetting free rent for a pretty big chunk of prime real estate, free rides on government jets and numerous other perks.

Saying "I feel your pain" -- not that she's said anything yet -- wouldn't be enough. Surely she could spare a little change for the dispossessed and bereaved of her native land? We shall see.

131

Pte. Jonathan Couturier, age 23, RIP

This past weekend Senator Colin Kenny, chair of the Senate committee on national security and defence, advised Canadian Prime Minister Harper to develop an exit strategy, or, as the Globe & Mail put it, "organize Canada's retreat."

"What we hoped to accomplish in Afghanistan has proved to be impossible," Kenny wrote. "We are hurtling toward a Vietnam ending."

Predictably, Senator Kenny is now being attacked by Brigadier-General Jonathan Vance, the commander of Task Force Kandahar, and no less than Governor-General Michaëlle Jean. Easy for them to stay on Mr. Harpoon's message. They don't have to leave the base and risk being blown to bits by an IED.

Yes, it's a classic case of shoot the messenger. 131 Canadians have died in Afghanistan, but even a senator is not allowed to ask why, let alone suggest that perhaps we've made a colossal mistake. Shame.

Footnote: Canadian Press reports that Pte. Couturier's brother has told Le Soleil that the young soldier thought the mission was futile. His sister-in-law added that Pte. Couturier no longer wanted anything to do with Afghanistan.