A Haitienne who won't be feeling too much pain

Walt is watching reports from Haiti, coverage of the disastrous earthquake that struck that poor country -- the poorest in the Western Hemisphere -- a couple of days ago. Walt is waiting to hear a comment -- any comment at all -- from one of the most famous daughters of Haiti, Michaëlle Jean. Where is she?

For those who think "Who is she?" might be a better question, I will elucidate. Michaëlle Jean is none other than the Governor General of Canada. She referred to herself as Canada's head of state, until reminded that actually Queen Elizabeth II is Canada's head of state, with Her Jeanness being only a proxy or agent.

The beautiful, talented and fragrant Ms Jean owes her appointment largely to the fact that it suited the impeccably PC Liberal government of Paul Martin to appoint a bilingual "woman of colour". The myth about her being a refugee who had made good in the world of journalism didn't hurt either.

It is a myth, you know. Far from being a barefoot girl who escaped from the slums of Petionville, Ms Jean was, in fact, the pampered darling of a well-to-do sugar daddy, who also happened to be a separatist. Through his connections Ms Jean landed a job with Radio Canada (a nest of separatists) where she did nothing to distinguish herself.

But it cannot be denied that Michaëlle was the right colour, from the right province, and looked good in photo ops. Thus she became Canada's stand-in monarch.

Where is she now? During her reign she has exhibited a fondness for swanning around the world, on the taxpayers' dime of course. When Prime Minister Harpoon wanted to prorogue Parliament, Her Jeanness had to be called back to Ottawa [from where? ed.] to give the royal assent. Where is she now?

Walt would also like to know exactly how much the G-G is going to contribute to the Haiti disaster relief fund. She draws a pretty good salary, not forgetting free rent for a pretty big chunk of prime real estate, free rides on government jets and numerous other perks.

Saying "I feel your pain" -- not that she's said anything yet -- wouldn't be enough. Surely she could spare a little change for the dispossessed and bereaved of her native land? We shall see.