Glaring apostrophe error in a book about law for the layman

Ed. has just renewed his membership in the Grammar Police. He has this advice for those who aspire to be published writers.

Apostrophes give many writers a lot of trouble. Sometimes, you might be tempted to put an apostrophe where it does not belong, such as when you are simply making a word plural. 

Other times, you need to make a word possessive, but you might forget to use the apostrophe. 

Then, of course, there is that whole its / it’s thing that confuses most everyone. Remember, the rule is to use an apostrophe when you need to show possession or ownership. 

The exception is with possessive pronouns such as my, your, his, hers, ours, their, and its. "Its" shows ownership while "it’s" is a contraction for "it is". So, just like "hers" and "his" are possessive pronouns that don’t use an apostrophe to show possession, "its" follows the same format. 

For more information on the apostrophe, be sure to check out the Apostrophe section in the Punctuation area of Grammar Essentials of the Excelsior Online Writing Lab. If you just need to brush up your skills, visit the Apostrophe Refresher. 

If  you don't follow these rules, you might end up with a sentence like this: 

Its abundantly clear to me that the rule’s of English grammar can be confusing and following it’s many exceptions even more so! 😒

WRONG! The sentence should read (and be punctuated) like this.

It’s abundantly clear to me that the rules of English grammar can be confusing and following its many exceptions even more so! 😀

Quick quiz: See how many apostrophe errors you can find in the title of the book pictured at left.

Answer: "Juror's", "Sheriff's", "Bailiff's", and "Justice's" are all WRONG, using the possessive form where the plural is wanted. This is not a joke, but a real book, advertised on the Thriftbooks website. We'll have to give the author a pass, as he's obviously a product of American education. And yes, "we'll" and "he's" are correct. They are contractions of "we will" and "he is".

Word power: "invalid"

We (Walt and Ed., and Poor Len who's been visiting for a few days) were looking out the window at the glories of nature on display at Parallel 43N, discussing the possibility of going to the corner store to pick up a case of Ma Niffkins Jellied Gin. 

Unlike the late unlamented Pierre Elliott Trudeau, we were not pleased at the prospect of a walk in the snow. "But," said Len, "we ought to be glad that we can get out of the house, that we are not invalids." He pronounced it "inVAlids".

"That must be the Canuck pronunciation," said Ed. "The word is 'INvalid', a person who is weak or unable to take care of themselves on account of illness, injury, or a health condition. As in 'She spent the rest of her life as an invalid.'"

"Noooooo," replied Poor Len. "I meant that we should be glad that those who control our governments, AI and the Internet have not 'cancelled' us, declared us non-persons, beings without foundation or force in fact, truth, or law... in other words 'inVAlid'."

That's a scary thought, isn't it. But certainly not beyond the realm of possibility, given the sorry state of the world in 2026. We put it out of our alleged minds and started thinking about the peculiarities of the English language.

Many English words are homonyms: having the same spelling or pronunciation but different meanings. But how many English words do you know which have the same spelling and the same pronunciation, but different meanings? The only difference in the pronunciation of "i-n-v-a-l-i-d" is the syllable on which the stress is put: INvalid or inVAlid. 

Can you think of any more? We couldn't! If you come up with a pair, click on the headline to open the "Comments" window and impress us with your command of the language of Shakespeare.

Neologisms of the year

No, this isn't a Wally award, although we do admit we wish we'd thought of it. Credit to the loony lefties at the Washington Post.

And credit (limit $1.98) also to the snowbound scamp, Agent 34.

VIDEO: George Carlin deconstructs "airline English"

The only mistake I've made so far today was watching the noon noos. Not that there was anything horrifying except for the inevitable DEI weather person talking about yet another "rain event", expected any time now. That reminded me of a rant George Carlin did some years ago on English as she is spoke in airports and airplanes. Here `tis.

Hello Kitty - Happy 50th anniversary!

Today, November 1st, Sanrio’s beloved character Hello Kitty celebrates her 50th anniversary. Befitting a pop icon at midlife, the bubble-headed, bow-wearing character's fictional birthday has brought museum exhibits, a theme park spectacle and a national tour. And that's just in Japan, her literal birthplace... but not the one listed in her official biography. 

Hello Kitty didn’t start as a cartoon. A young Sanrio illustrator named Yuko Shimizu drew her in 1974 as a decoration for stationery, tote bags, cups and other small accessories. The design made its debut on a coin purse the next year and became an instant hit in Japan. 

Sanrio permits anyone to use the Hello Kitty design for any purpose, as long as they pay the licence feel. It didn't take long for her to become emblazoned on various types of clothing, although the item shown here is probably an unlicensed knock-off.

As Hello Kitty’s commercial success expanded beyond Asia, so did her personal profile. By the late 1970s, Sanrio revealed the character's name as Kitty White. Her height is 5 apples and she weights 3 apples. She was born in suburban London [Bet you didn't know that! Ed.], where she lives with her parents and twin sister Mimmy. 

At some point, Sanrio designated Kitty's birthday as November 1st, the same as that of Ms Shimizu. Her background was embellished with hobbies that included playing piano, reading and baking. Her TV appearances required co-stars, including a pet cat named Charmmy Kitty that made its debut 20 years ago. 

Hello Kitty's 40th birthday brought an update that astonished fans. Sanrio clarified to a Los Angeles museum curator that Kitty, despite her feline features, was a little girl. A company spokesperson repeated the distinction this year, renewing debate online about the requirements for being considered human.

Part of the confusion stems from a misunderstanding of "kawaii", which is Japanese for "cute" but also connotes a lovable or adorable essence. The word is used often in Japanese society, not only to describe babies and puppies, but also: an elderly man (ahem, ahem), something as innocuous as an umbrella, a subcompact car or a kitchen utensil. Even a horror movie monster can be labelled "kawaii".

The idea may seem terribly girly-girly to us Westerners, but it’s taken seriously in Japan, where the concept is linked with the most honourable instincts. The complexity of "kawaii" may help explain Hello Kitty's enduring appeal across generations and cultures, why Avril Lavigne released a song titled "Hello Kitty" a decade ago, and why King Charles wished Hello Kitty a happy 50th birthday when he hosted Japan's Emperor Naruhito and Empress Masako at Buckingham Palace last June.

Happy 50th, Kitty! We love ya!

Gramatical footnote from Ed.: We continue to be appalled at the degradation of the language of Shakespeare. The apostles of DEI tell us, over and over again, that speaking and writing proper English is racist. (See Walt's comments on the apostrophe error in "The Great Garbage controversy", WWW 30/10/24.)  

We have noticed, and condemn, the trend in the broadcast meeja to use phrases like "fifty-year anniversary" instead of "50th/fiftieth anniversary". Puleeze peepul! The word anniversary is derived from the Latin word "annua", which means "year". Saying "fifty-year anniversary" is a horrendous redundancy. As for "six-month anniversary", that's just ridiculous.

The Great "Garbage" controversy, plus a funny video

Got any "men" friends who are WDFH? Here, from The Patriot Post, are some suggestions for consolation gifts you can give (not "gift"!) them on November 6th.

But I digest. What's really important today is Senile Joe's latest and most horrendour gaffe, which the Cackler's handlers are trying to spin as nothing more than an apostrophe error in the official White House transcript. 

The White House said that "his supporter's demonization" -- the "supporter" being alleged comic Tony Hinchcliffe -- is correct, and should not have been understood as "his supporters demonization" -- the "supporters" being folks like most WWW readers. [Actually it should have been "supporters'" -- plural possessive -- with the apostrophe after the second "'s". Ed.]

Hours after the excrement collided with the air condition device, Mr Biden posted, "Earlier today I referred to the hateful rhetoric about Puerto Rico spewed by Trump’s supporter at his Madison Square Garden rally as garbage — which is the only word I can think of to describe it." 

New York Magazine dutifully cast it as a GOP edit: "Republicans insist there was no apostrophe." Politico just covered it up entirely, as follows: "Biden, in a Zoom call with the organization Voto Latino, said ‘the only garbage’ was the ‘hatred’ of Trump supporters who said such things about American citizens."

Walt trusts that those who heard Senile Joe say what he said have become, thanks to American education, so insensitized to the ubiquitous apostrophe error as to believe it doesn't matter how you spell it -- the meaning is as clear as "basket of deplorables".

VIDEO: You think your job is tough?

Agent 78 complained to me the other day that she hates her job. 

Please note that she did not "share" that thought. I am sick, sore and tired of the misuse and overuse of the verb "share". People used to "say" or "tell" things. Now they just "share"! 

We even hear this in broadcast news. "A spokesperson for law enforcement shared that the perpetrator was not a citizen, but refused to share his identity or ethnicity."

And I can remember when, if a person looked like they were having a bad day, a friend might ask, "Wanna talk about it?", not "Care to share?"

But I digest... I told Agent 78 that her disgruntlement was not uncommon. I dare say [noted. Ed.] that there's not one reader who hasn't said, at some point in his/her life, "I hate my job."

Next time you feel that way, consider that you might be worse off. You might have one of these jobs.

 

Thanks to Agent 6 for sharing the video. (And that usage of "share" is proper!)

UPDATED: Rex Murphy, RIP + VIDEO of Jordan Peterson interview

Rex Murphy, the witty, voluble, and, above all, Canadian writer and broadcaster, has died, of cancer, at age 77. RIP+.

For decades, Mr Murphy was a fixture of the Canadian commentariat, writing and speaking primarily on political and social matters. 

For some time he was politically correct enough to have regular gigs with the CBC, Canada's liberal state broadcaster. He did POV pieces during the national news, and was the host of CBC Radio's "Cross-Country Checkup", a nationwide call-in show, for 21 years ending in 2015.

He also wrote op-ed pieces for the Globe and Mail, Canada's self-styled national newspaper, which has become nothing more than the print version of the CBC. 

As the Groan and Wail moved left, Mr Murphy moved right, and, in 2010, was one of the first victims of cancel culture. The National Post, founded by arch-conservative Conrad Black, snapped him up, and he wrote for them as often as he could right up till this week. His last column, on Prime Minister McBlackface's two-faced stance on the Hamas atrocities of October 7th, appeared on the front page of the Post's print edition the day before his death.

Rex Murphy was born in Carbonear, Newfoundland in 1947, before that province even was a province, to Harry and Marie Murphy, the second of five children. He grew up in the community of Freshwater, about ten minutes up the road. He skipped two grades and eventually, in 1968, headed to Oxford as a Rhodes scholar, before returning home and, after bailing on a Master of English degree, settled into a very long and very fruitful career in the media.

A collection of Mr Murphy's columns, reviews and commentaries has been published in two books: Points of View and Canada And Other Matters of Opinion. Walt recommends them both. Even if you don't share his political views, you can't help but admire his command of the English language. Perhaps being from Newfoundland had something to do with it. 

In the last years of his life, Rex Murphy embraced the Internet, creating podcasts and his own YouTube channel, REXTV. In tribute to Rex, and to perpetuate his memory, I've chosen to repost his November 2019 interview with Dr Jordan Peterson. The two very learned gentlemen talk for almost an hour about the modern state of education, politics, identity, and the new media. You won't hear intelligent and astute commentary like this any more. Not from Rex at least. I miss him already. 

 

Further reading: Tributes to Mr Murphy are appearing all over the Internet. Here are two which Walt thinks are pictularly good.

"Rex Murphy was the true guardian of Canadian identity — not the pretenders on the left", by Father Raymond J. de Souza, in the National Post, 10/5/24. Mr Murphy's full name, according to Father de Souza, was Robert Rex Raphael Murphy. Who knew?!

"No one could outsmart or outword Rex Murphy — I miss you, my friend", by Peter Mansbridge, the last good host of the CBC's national TV news, in the National Post, 10/5/24.

I wouldn't even attempt to write such eloquent farewell pieces. I can only add: Rex, ave atque vale.

Memo from the PC police: "African-American" now offensive

You can't make this stuff up. Not the Bee reports that super-woke Brandeis University has updated its widely mocked list of "violent" and "identity-based" terminology ahead of the start of its fall semester.

Added to the compendium of politically incorrect words and phrases that must not be uttered on the Brandeis campus is the term "African-American".

What's wrong with that? Here's what the Brandeis PC police say: "For Black folks born in the United States, hyphenating their identity can be interpreted as othering. Some folks do prefer to use African-American, particularly in connection to their ancestral roots, while others may identify with other ethnicities. We recommend using Black as a default, but being open to adjusting if asked to."

Walt would like to know: What's "othering"? Does it mean identifying someone as different, when they (more or less) obviously are different? Is it a form of bullying? "Hey, you! You're not 'same'! You must be 'other'!" I guess that can cut in any direction. I would expect to be "othered" if I strolled through the South Side of Lori Lightfoot's Chicago. I don't know if it would happen at Brandeis. Maybe I just won't go there!

"Negro" or "black" or "Afro-American"? American historian weighs in

Joseph Chamberlain Furnas (24/11/1905 – 3/6/2001) was an American freelance writer, whose works include a trilogy of social histories of the United States: The Americans (covering the period 1570-1914), Great Times (covering the period 1914-1929) and Stormy Weather: Crosslights on the 1930s (which covers the time between the stock market crash and the attack on Pearl Harbor.) 

Mr Furnas was a Quaker, and a believer in the equality and brotherhood of man. Two of his books, The Road to Harper's Ferry and Goodbye to Uncle Tom, deal with "black" issues, notably slavery, which he viewed as an evil institution which degraded (black) slaves and (white) masters alike.

The Road to Harper's Ferry is an account of John Brown's raid on Harper's Ferry, which delves into the lives and motivations of the "Secret Six" who gave him a great deal of his support. Goodbye to Uncle Tom examines how Uncle Tom's Cabin, both as a novel and in its many stage adaptations, has shaped American attitudes towards "Afro-Americans" and slavery.

I've put quotation marks around "black" and "Afro-Americans" for a reason. Mr Furnas wrestled throughout his writing with what to call people of the coloured persuasion. In a footnote at pp 405-6 of The Americans (G.P. Putnam's Sons, New York, 1969), he explains his preference for the word "Negro" to those terms which came before ("coloured") or later ("black"). 

Most of this book had been drafted before the recent shift frm "Negro" to "black" to designate Americans with discernibly West African genetic traits. Many Northern politicians and most of the communications industry [today we'd say "media". Walt] have adoped the term. I have...considered making the change throughout this book. Several rasons have deterred me.

For instance, there is no reliable way to learn how acceptable the term "black" may be to the many million Americans most directly affected. It has been used contemptuously for centuries, particularly by the British. 

Then the change seems pointless as a matter of logic. "Negro" is simply Spanish-Portuguese for "black". Neither term accurately describes either the skin pigmentation or (if "Negro" is used as anthropologists sometimes use it) the genetic makeup of most of the Americans to whom it is applied.

Either word could apply to the many Melanesians who are very disttantly if at all related to the West Africans from whom American Negroes descend. So "black" is no improvement if intelligibility is the test.

There is good reason to believe that the actual motivation, maybe often unconscious, of the current sponsors of "black", of the militant separatist-minded leaders a mong them, is to express alienation from all whites, even their most earnest well-wishers, instead of an effort toward higher accuracy of group-definition. 

Were I to make the shift in this book, I might well find within a year or two that a new token of alienation, maybe "Afro-American", had succeeded "black". 

And that's exactly what happened, except that "African-American" was more widely used than "Afro-American". Then, as "African-Americans" began to visit their ancestral homelands, as members of the Peace Corps or just as tourists, they discovered that they were strangers there, just as much as the evil whites. 

So we don't hear/read "African-American" any more. The current politically correct term is "Black", with a capital "B", as in "Black lives matter." I guess that's better than "black" because the capital shows that progressive people are giving "Black" folks mo' respeck... or something like that. [Should we call ourselves "White"? Ed.] Too bad Mr Furnas didn't live to comment on the current wokeness.

George Carlin: Political correctness = fascism

Words of wisdom from the late, much-missed George Carlin.

 

VIDEO: Professor Thomas Sowell talks about black culture

"Lemme ax yo somethin'... Who said that? Answer: Thomas Sowell - American economist, social theorist, and senior fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution. Of course Dr Sowell doesn't talk like that. He's giving an example of "Black English" (sometimes known as "ebonics"), which he says is one of the facets of current black culture (or "subculture") which is keeping African-Americans from achieving economic and social parity with "other-cultured" Americans. 

Here's a short interview with Dr Sowell, posted on his YouTube channel, just ahead of Martin Luther King Day. 

   

What's the good doctor's solution to the problems black people bring on themselves by adapting to the subculture? Rap "music" is the ultimate expression of current black American subculture. But America needs fewer rappers and politicians, and more engineers, doctors and scientists. So? "Equip yourself with skills that people are willing to pay for." 

If you want to learn more about this topic, Dr Sowell suggests you read his books: Black Rednecks and White Liberals (Encounter Books, 2005) and Intellectuals and Race (Basic Books, 2013). For more thoughts from Dr Sowell, see "Thomas Sowell destroys the arguments for multiculturalism", WWW 4/7/20.

In other news: Far right extremist calls for equal treatment of people of all races!

Babylon Bee's guide too good grammar

Ed. here. You know that Walt and I are sticklers for the proper use of the language of Shakespeare... and modern English too, "modern" being the English spoken by the Queen... Victoria, that is. ("American English" is an oxymoron.)

For us, it's a constant struggle to find and correct grammatical and orthographical errors. We have been forced to throw in the towel on the Apostrophe Error, because even professional communicator's seem compelled to insert an apostrophe before all terminal s's. Its a sin and a shame, isnt it?

And (said he, beginning not just a sentence but a paragraph with a conjuntion) let us not even begin to discuss "pause words", such as "basically", "like" and the dreaded "so", with which persons of a certain age and gender begin every sentence. So what?

We are happy today to find that we are not fighting the battle on our own. One of Walt's favourite blogs, the Babylon Bee, has entered the fray with "A Handy Guide Too Using Good Grammar", a compendium of tips for avoiding common errors of grammar and speling. 

Read it and learn, and know that you will always have our well wishes.

VIDEO: Sunday Funnies with George Carlin

This seems like a good time to give you, dear readers, a break from the bullshit of the impreachment witch-hunt ["hearings", shurely! Ed.]. But we mustn't forget what a steaming load of bullshit is excreted in Washington every day -- past, present and future. To remind us, who better than George Carlin. Here's an old(ish) and long(ish) but good (for sure) video of a speech he made at the National Press Club, in which he spends much time dissecting and rejecting the way politicians talk, thus implicating (as Mr Carlin says) the press corps which faithfully records the bullshit and passes it along to a gullible public.

You can skip the introductions, including Mr Carlin's self-introduction. The good stuff begins at 10:40.

Journalistic illiteracy - National/Financial Post (again)

When I was teaching ESL, my dear students sometimes asked how many words they should know. I told them that the average native speaker (of English) would use between 3000 and 5000 words on an everyday basis, and a vocabulary of 10,000 words would make you a well-read and well-spoken person. But, I warned them, it's no good memorizing a lot of words if you don't know what they mean.

This principle is obviously not taught in North American j-schools, for the lamestream media is full of spelling, grammatical and vocabulary errors, which we delight in pointing out from time to time. Here's one from today's online edition of the Financial Post, a part of Canada's so-called National Post.

If you didn't spot the error, it's back to Remedial English for you! And take Joe Chidley with you! At least it wasn't the "its/it's" mistake, or (my current pet peeve) "incidences" for "incidents".

More lamestream media illiteracy: National Post

Today's shocking example of journalistic illiteracy comes from Canada's National Post. Here's part of the landing (index) page from this morning's online edition.

Walt hopes that the bombs in question were defused, not "diffused". In today's Europe, bombs are diffused by Muslim jihadis, not (we hope) "experts". But such is the vocabulary of your typical lamestream media "reporter" nowadays. Journalist wannabes should read more. Or sign up for Walt's course in Remedial English, coming soon to a university not near you.

Footnote: The article to the left of the bomb story tells you all ye need to know about the state of the No-Longer-Great White North.

UK grammar vigilante tackles apostrophe error's

Ed. here. Assiduous readers will know that the abuse and misuse of the humble apostrophe (') makes me [and Walt! Walt] wild. Sometimes we think we are alone in our campaign to stamp out egregious errors such as "It pay's to go Peugeot!" or "The Anderson's", referring to a family named "Anderson" who presumably live in the house so sign-posted. We are therefore encouraged by reports of others who are fighting the good fight for grammatical correctness. Agent 34 sends along this one, from the education section of The Grauniad.

For more than a decade, an unidentified corrector of poor English has been venturing out in the dead of night and tidying up the punctuation on store fronts and street signs in Bristol, England. On Monday, the BBC announced it had tracked him down and had accompanied him on one of his night-time missions.

The first sign he tackled, the man said, was council sign -- "Monday's to Friday's" -- and had "these ridiculous apostrophes, which I was able to scratch those off." He also corrected fixed a "gross" shop sign which read "Amys Nail's". "It was so loud and in your face. I just couldn’t abide it. It grates," he told the Beeb. Here we see him sorting out "Cambridge Motor's". The owners of the business thanked him for correcting the mistake.

The still unidentified language purist told the BBC, "I'm a grammar vigilante. I think it's a cause worth pursuing." He said he began by scratching out an extraneous apostrophe on a sign, but had since become more sophisticated and has built an "apostrophiser" -- a long-handled tool that allows him to reach up to shop signs to add in, or cover up, offending punctuation marks. "This is a device that enables you to plant an apostrophe quite high up and get over any obstacles," he said.

He also has a specially made stepladder that means he does not have to lean a conventional ladder against shop windows, and carries a set square and scalpel to make sure his work is neat and precise. When it was put to him that what he was doing was probably illegal, his defence was staunch: "I’m sticking on a bit of sticky-back plastic. It's more of a crime to have the apostrophes wrong!"

More media illiteracy - CTV Toronto

One of Walt's pet peeves is the steadily decreasing standard of literacy in the lamestream media. You would think that those who describe themselves as communications professionals would strive to use proper English in presenting the "news", even if it costs them a bit of money to employ competent editors, sub-editors and proofreaders. You would be wrong.

It may be, though, that lack of money for professional help is the problem at Canada's CTV network. Here's a screen shot of a page that appeared on the Toronto flagship station's website this morning.

Cringeworthy, isn't it? But remember, these folks are smarter than you are. That's why they feel themselves qualified to tell you how to vote, even how to think.

Note from Ed.: I am available for hire, willing to relocate. Require salary just a trifle higher than what I get from Walt. A dollar a day plus expenses should do it. Offers to the usual address.

Does your apartment have a "garbage shoot"?

Agent 3 saw this today on the landing page of Canada's National Post.

How did a Toronto man, now under an ISIL-related terrorism peace bond, get an AR-15 type assault rifle?

When police searched Abdul's apartment in an attempt to find the restricted weapon, his father had already broken it and thrown it down the garbage shoot

Headlines to be read twice

Ed. here. "Where's Walt?", I hear you ask. Walt is thinking. The sorry state of American politics -- the race downhill to the presidensity in particular -- has him in a funk. I told him that it would be a good idea to take some time off, so as not to funk up WWW. While we wait for him to regain his composure, we should thank Agent 9 for sending us the following unintentionally funny headlines from the lamestream media -- more evidence that proofreading is a lost art.

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
It took a phone call, and two or three readings by the editor of the newspaper that ran this one, before he realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
That's taking things a bit far, surely!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Good-for-nothing, lazy SOBs!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a trial by adults.

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect.

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Quite probably!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be onto something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't the first ones fat enough?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....
Tornado Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?