"Bite me!" - "No? OK, I'll bite myself!" - Cannibal fights deportation

Here's an unusual story... very unusual... copied right from Breitbart News, who got it from Fox News.

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem told reporters that an alleged cannibal attempted to eat himself during a deportation flight to his home country. Noem said US Marshals deputies told her the man inflicted serious wounds requiring immediate medical attention.

"The other day, I was talking to some marshals who have been partnering with ICE. They said that they had detained a cannibal and put him on a plane to take him home," Noem told reporters at a meeting with President Donald Trump and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, "and while they had him in his seat, he started to eat himself, and they had to get him off and get him medical attention."

Noem's comments to reporters came during a tour of Florida's new "Alligator Alcatraz". The facility, located in the Florida Everglades, is designed to hold up to 3000 detained illegal aliens as they await deportation proceedings. "These are the kind of deranged individuals that are on our streets in America that we're trying to target and get out of our country," the DHS Secretary continued, "because they are so deranged they don't belong here. They shouldn’t be walking the streets with our children, and they shouldn’t be living in the communities with our families who just want to… raise their children to grow up and get a job, and to live the American dream."

Noem told reporters that the new "Alligator Alcatraz" is a state-of-the-art facility that needs to be replicated in other states around the country. Due to budget cuts in the Biden era, the number of beds available for illegal alien detention decreased significantly, and additional capacity is needed to meet the demands of President Trump' aggressive mass deportation orders. "I hope my phone rings off the hook from governors calling and saying, ‘How can we do what Florida just did? How can we do exactly what they did?'" she said.

Innocent questions from Walt: What's the name of the cannibal wannabe's "unnamed country"? Apart from this, how do they know he's a cannibal? Did he actually eat someone in the US of A? Answers on the back of a postage stamp, please, to the usual address.

Note from Ed.: About the photo... I tried very hard to find a better illustration for this story, but this was the only one I could find that was funny(ish) and not sick-making. There are a lot of very sick people posting memes on the Internet.