Notes from the sandpit

The freely and democratically elected President of Afghanistan, "Mo" Hamid Karzai, has once again opened his mouth to change feet. This weekend the Krazai guy delivered a long and rambling speech saying that the USA is talking to the Taliban while at the same time wrecking his country. Today the western media and Karzai's own press office are trying to figure out what he meant, if anything.

Speaking to a youth conference on Saturday, President Karzai criticized the NATO coalition for ruining the roads with its tanks and polluting the environment with its bombs. In the same breath he said Armpitistan should be given more sophisticated fighter planes, presumably so it could pollute itself from the air, saving wear and tear on the roads.

Then Krazai dropped his own bomb, making a surprise announcement that America had started talking directly with the Taliban on ways to end the decade-long war. Apparently the President of All the Afghans approves. “God willing, these talks will continue,” he said.

However, Mr Karzai doesn't like not having a seat at the table. He voiced suspicion that talks were going on behind his back and were part of an effort to give the Taliban its own seat -- the one that should be reserved for him -- at a conference on Afghanistan scheduled to take place in Bonn at the end of the year.

Afghan politicians with long experience of listening to their erstwhile leader warned that Krazai's apparently off-the-cuff remarks should be taken cum grano salis. [Do Afghan politicians really speak in Latin? Ed.]

According to Abdul Hafiz Mansoor, a Kabul member of parliament, "He was talking out of his fundament." [Surely "without a written speech in front of him". Ed.] "So don’t take his speech too seriously. He often says things, and then they have to retract them later."