In Toronto, over the weekend, a man was shot, execution-style, in a sports bar. One well-placed gunshot did for him. Why he was targetted is not clear, but there's probably some drug or gang connection since a relative of one of his "wives" was shot in the same area some months ago.
The 38-year-old victim was just a lean, mean procreating machine. He had no fewer than TEN (count `em, 10) children by SIX (6) different women. “It just seems senseless,” said Andrea Cuff, who has his 10-year-old son. “Ten kids without their dad now.”
Ayisha Spence, his current girlfriend and mother of two of the kids, told the Toronto Sun, “He was a great father.” Says Walt, certainly prolific, if nothing else.
Ms Cuff averred that the fact the six mothers of the ten children all get along is a testament to the wonderful man he was. The women notified each other of the horrific news and then all but one of them raced to the scene. The missing one is believed to have been detained at the welfare office while collecting cheques.
“We’re all baby mamas, but we all communicate with each other,” said "Jennifer", who has a daughter with the victim. “It don’t make no sense,” she said. “Everyone that knew him, loved him." So it would seem, says Walt. Except for this one last guy.
The victim's name is Clifenton Ford. Not known yet is the name of the major corporation of which Ford was CEO, nor how much support he was paying for his ten little bastards. What IS known is which "community" Mr Ford was part of. No prizes for guessing.
Oh. You can't guess? Mr Ford immigrated from Jamaica while in his 20s. Not being racist. Just calling a spade a spade.
I regret to say that begetting ten offspring disqualifies him for the Darwin Award which I'm sure he otherwise earned.
ReplyDeleteThe unknown circumstances of his death make it uncertain whether he's eligible for a Darwin. But he definitely qualifies for a Wilt Chamberlain Award.
ReplyDelete