N-bomb explodes, kills Twain

In a display of political correctness rare even for American "educators", the N-word -- NIGGER -- will be replaced by "slave" in new editions of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, to be published later this year.

The Bowdlerization of the books is supposed to boost their "acceptance". Since only millions of copies of Twain's classics have been sold in the century-plus since he wrote them, this move is clearly needed.

The new editions are to be published by an outfit calling itself "NewSouth Books". The argument is that Huck and Tom don't represent the "new south", in which all folks are equal, anyone can ride in the front of the bus if they want to, and there are no more niggers.

While they're at it, NewSouth Books should update the settings -- how about downtown Atlanta -- and make the lead characters 21st-century dudes, southern-fried Beavis and Butthead types.

In case it's not clear, my point is that Twain was writing about the south as it was in his time. Are we really trying to pretend, now, that the Old South never existed? Not only is America (as a whole) not racist now, it never was so! Not even in the 19th century. Next thing you know, the PC police will be doing a remake of Gone With The Wind, and rewriting the history books to assure us that the Civil War was only a dream.

Footnote: Mark Twain always chose his words very carefully. "The difference between the right word and the almost right word," he wrote, "is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug."