A bridge to fear?

Meet Lai Jiansheng. Mr. Lai is about the same age as Walt, and evidently has the same temperament.

Back in May, he was taking his morning stroll near the Haizhu bridge, a landmark in the Chinese city of Guangzhou, when he found traffic snarled by motorists and pedestrians waiting for Chen Fuchao to jump off the bridge.

When Mr. Lai arrived on the scene, Mr. Chen had already been sitting atop the bridge for five hours. Chen wanted to kill himself because he was 2 million yuan in debt following a failed construction project. He chose the Haizhu bridge because it has long been the city's number one choice for committing suicide, according to government spokesman Shiu Liang.

Civic-minded humanitarian that he is, Lai volunteered to talk Chen down. In fact, he broke through a police cordon to climb up to Chen's perch. Lai first greeted Chen with a handshake, then pushed him off the bridge! Chen fell 8 meters onto a partially-inflated emergency air cushion, damaging his spine and elbow.

"I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish," Mr. Lai said. "Their action violates a lot of public interest."

You can read the story and see pictures of the Kodak moment on the China View website. But wait, there's more. Agent 78, who I thank for this lead, says that following this incident, the Guangzhou authorities came up with a brilliant new strategy to deter would-be suicides.

Previously they tried employing guards at both ends of the bridge. They put up fences. They posted notices asking people not to commit suicide there. But nothing worked.

So...now they have coated the Hangzhu bridge with fat! Trying to climb up to a suitable jumping-off point is like trying to climb the greased pole at a county fair! Everyone who tries just falls back down, according to one of the bridge guards.

"Every time someone tried to get sympathy or media attention, we had several hours of tailbacks and scores of complaints," he explained. "But since we put up the butter, there have been no more problems."

So there you have it, dear readers. Things are definitely better with butter!