Simple solution for problems housing seniors and criminals

As the corona virus continues to sweep across North America [mostly the part south of the 49th parallel. Ed.], it presents governments with problems particular to two groups of citizens who are forced to live in confined quarters where the virus spreads more rapidly, with deadly effect. I speak of senior citizens incarcerated in retirement homes, and criminals living rent-free in prisons where they enjoy benefits (like three squares, internet and TV) which many seniors don't get.

Thanks be, then, to Agent 9, who has forwarded a proposal from "Maxine" [Who she? Ed.] which, if implemented, would kill both birds with one stone. Hm. Maybe not a keen choice o' words. Let's just say our dilemma about what to do with seniors and criminals would be ended, if only our governments would let them... or make them... switch places!

Here ["Maxine" writes] is the way it should be: Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes. This would correct two things at one:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and Medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.
They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing – e.g. shoes, slippers, PJs – and legal aid would be free, upon request.
There would be private, secure rooms provided for all, with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.
Each senior would have a PC, TV, phone and radio in their room at no cost.
They would receive daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.
The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.
And they'd be living in a gated community!

As for the criminals:

They would receive cold food.
They would be left alone and unsupervised.
They would receive showers once a week.
They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5000 per month.
They would have no hope of ever getting out.

Sounds like justice to me!