Saturday, May 18, 2013

"Bring me the head of Senator Duffy!"

It's been barely 48 hours since Walt assaulted your olfactory sense with the story of how the Honourable Mike Duffy, the Senator from Kanata [not PEI? Ed.] had his huge ass covered by Nigel Wright, Chief of Staff to Steve "Stephen" Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada. There's more to the story...

Senator Puffy was being audited by Deloitte (at the request of the Senate) over housing expenses he claimed and received for maintaining a residence in Kanata -- a suburb of the world's second-coldest capital -- because his principal residence was supposedly in Prince Edward Island. The amount in question was in excess of C$90,000 ($88,000 in real money.)

Trouble is, Duffy had occupied the house in Kanata for years and years, whereas the sty in PEI went largely unoccupied according to neighbours -- more of a summer cottage, if that. That spelled trouble for the Puffster because the Canadian Constitution requires senators to live in the province they represent. Calls were loud for the "honourable" senator to resign from his position and/or at least pay back the money, and after weeks of stonewalling, Duffy said in February that he would do the latter but not the former.

As reported two days ago, the 90 large was indeed repaid, not by the porcine parliamentarian but by the Chief of Staff in the Prime Minister's Office. Why?! One's first guess would have to be to make the whole stinky affair go away. If that's what he was thinking, Wright was Wrong!

Embarrassing questions were asked the moment CTV broke the story. Why, Canadians wondered, was Senator Puffy given special treatment? (Two other senators -- Liberal Mac Harb and Conservative Patrick Brazeau -- also faced demands to repay ill-gotten housing allowances.) What did Duffy have on the Conservatives that they would spend so much political capital -- not to mention cash -- to protect him? Maybe he has proof of John Baird's sexual preferences? Maybe he has pictures of Harper and the Duck? 

While Canucks were mulling the possibilities, there was a further revelation! The Tories refused to provide details of exactly what improperly-claimed expenses were being repaid. Turns out that, apart from the housing allowance, Duffy had billed the Senate per diem fees for work allegedly done while he was in Florida. Images of a beached whale spring to mind!

Ditto for a number of days during the federal election campaign of 2011 during which Mr. Puffy charged the Senate for attending to his senatorial duties while at the same time stumping for his beloved Conservative Party in constituencies far removed from Ottawa. [Not in PEI, though! Ed.] As the Tories themselves had paid Duffy for those days, it would seem that the "honourable" senator was, errr, double-dipping.

All this caused considerable soiling of shorts in the corridors of power, especially the Langevin Block. [That's where the Prime Minister's Office is. Ed.] Pundits and publicans were unanimous in calling for the heads of both Duffy and Wright. But did either of them resign? Errr, no. Duffy resigned, not from the Senate but from the Conservative caucus. He will now sit in his extra-wide seat as an "independent". Wright has been neither seen nor heard, but a fart-catcher for Steve Harper says the PM still has "complete confidence" in his chief of staff. Stay tuned.

Double-dip footnote: Duffy's was not the only snout deep in the trough. Late last night, another Conservative senator decided to join the Puffster under the bus. [On the "independent" benches, surely! Ed.] Pamela Wallin -- coincidentally another former "non-partisan" broadcaster who formerly worked for CTV -- is also under investigation for improperly claiming "other travel" expenses in the neighbourhood of $321,000.

She and Duffy both say they will rejoin the Tories once these little misunderstandings are "resolved". Wallin's calls to Nigel Wright have not been returned.

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