The Rum Diary, starring Johnny Depp, with Hector Novice and Loretta Nobody. And did we mention Johnny Depp?
When the opening credits showed three (count `em, three) production companies, that should have been the tipoff.
Terrible screenplay, worse acting -- Depp looks frankly embarrassed much of the time -- and a pace slower than the diamond-encrusted tortoise seen in the bad guy's house.
Zero stars (out of a possible five), but one huge moon. Save your money.
Footnote: We're told at the end that the movie is dedicated to the memory of Hunter S. Thompson, who wrote the novel. Thank the deity that the father of Gonzo journalism isn't here to see this travesty.