It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
So begins what has long been regarded as the worst novel ever written in the English language: Paul Clifford, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton. The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest uses the phrase as a signifier of purple prose. The contest, run by the San Jose State University English Department, celebrates the worst extremes in "dark and stormy night" writing.
Walt has just seen Part I of 2011's sure-fire winner. Place your bets now, ladies and gentlemen, on Russian Sunrise: A Novel of Faith and Hope, by Bruce W. Walters, M.D. Published by Good Counsel Publications, Russian Sunrise is, according to its prologue [Prologue? In a novel? Ed.] "a novel exploring in detail what might be, based in broad concept on what will be."
Over 10 lines later we learn it's about what Russia and the world will be like when the Pope finally performs the Consecration of Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, as the author and 1000s of Catholic believers in the Message of Fatima devoutly wish.
A "disclaimer for a work of fiction" assures us that the persons and events depicted are products of the author's imagination. They are also incredibly two-dimensional caricatures of real people, straight out of Catholic Comics. Here's an example of a dinner conversation between Mariya (Mary) and Mikhail (Michael):
(Mikhail): "Now I'm terrified. Everything about you seems exactly right, Mariya, and all of a sudden I can't see any escape route for myself. I'm captured, disarmed, defenseless, and there is no hope of escape. I'm a prisoner and I love it!"
(Mariya): "You've got it bad, Misha. I'm so glad. Because a lot has happened in the past two months that seems too good to be true. It's almost like a fairy tale. I met this impossibly handsome and intelligent and talented older man who seems very youthful, and who just happens to be a crown prince. I have only recently been informed that I am a princess. He falls in love with me, and takes me to a fairy tale ball in New York where we dance the night away and steal the show and end up all over the television and newspapers ever since. I begin to dream of spending my life with hi, and then I sense that, if we don't watch out, we will end up as a king and queen, living in a royal palace and presiding over a Christian nation."
Chapter 20 goes on like that for nearly eight letter-sized pages. And there are 22 more chapters, just in Part I. I would call it a sure cure for insomnia except that morbid curiosity has so far kept me flipping the pages just to see if it gets any worse. [It does. Ed.]
One of the minor characters of the good doctor's fertile imagination is one "Father Nicholas Gottschalk"*. We are told that "he is without doubt the world's best-known Fatima advocate". What a coincidence, then, that Good Counsel Publications is one of the imprints of the Fatima Center, whose founder and director is Father Nicholas Gruner. Father Gruner often refers to himself (modestly) as one of the world's best-known Fatima advocates.
Also an obvious coincidence is the name of the fictional pope who, in 2015, finally performs the Consecration in 2015. It's Pope Nicholas VI, "the first German pope...in several hundred years". Pope Nicholas was the former Jacob Cardinal Ritter. Yes, clearly a fictional character.
Russian Sunrise comes highly recommended, according to five lengthy blurbs on the back cover. (One of them runs to two paragraphs and 13 lines.) Anyone who has read The Fatima Crusader will recognize the names appended to the ringing endorsements. They are all employees or associates of Father Gruner.
I regret not being able to give this travesty of a roman à clef my endorsement, although I will gladly nominate it for the Bulwer-Lytton prize. Using a novel to promote a religious or political ideal is not a novel idea. And it can work, when it's done well. Sadly, Russian Sunrise is not well done. It is not even medium rare. It is merely half-baked.
* Footnote: "Gottschalk", in German, means "God's servant". And Father Nicholas Gruner just happens to be of German descent. Another coincidence, no doubt. And yes, Russian Sunrise actually has footnotes! In a novel! Even Sir Edward knew better than that.
An incredible "novel". Not only does it include a lengthy description of the Apparitions at Fatima, but there is even a short history of the Federal Reserve!
ReplyDeleteI am an avid believer in the message of Our Lady of Fatima, and am grateful to you. The author defends himself as being a doctor, not a writer. Yet, he must also be a salesman, as he PLUGS a CD of "little-known composers" in both the text and the footnote to the text on page 23. You can go to the website he provides at the back of the book in order to obtain your copy. (I can't wait for mine to arrive...)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous above--you can have my copy! I read it out of curiosity. The way the American South is heralded as being in the right during the civil war, and that Lincoln was a malevolent exploiter of people should outrage any American Roman Catholic. This is a piece of garbage, mean spirited, and highly elitist. I love the Catholic Church and I regret that this novel puts it--and Our Lady of Fatima in a piss-poor light. Pure Excrement
ReplyDeleteI think this "novel" is very much like something that Frasier and Niles would cook up! If they were Catholics rather that Episcopalins...(nominal and broad at that). I think that this novel might earn the writer a letter grade of B- in a High School writing assignment for creative writing.
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