Oh say, can you seeeeeee?

Perhaps you've heard the story about the little Puerto Rican boy who went to visit his cousins in New York City. As a special treat for him they decided to take him to a baseball game at Shea Stadium. It would be his first time to see real major league ball in a real major league stadium.

Unfortunately, being poor, the party found themselves way up in the nosebleed section, and the little boy was sitting behind a big steel pillar, to boot. The view wasn't very good, but still he was thrilled to be there.

"And," he told his friends when he got home, "the people were so nice. Even before the game started they all stood up and they sang a song to me...Jose, can you see?"

I was reminded of this when I endured a terrible rendering (yes, I mean "rendering", not "rendition" -- look it up!) of the national anthem before a football game the other day. Can we not find even one singer who has the voice and the musical ability to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" the way it was written? Not one?

Now I grant you, "The Star-Spangled Banner" is a hard song to sing compared with, say, "O Canada" or "La Marseillaise". It's not a particularly good piece of music.

No matter what key you choose, you have to have an above-average range to hit the highest notes at all, let alone hold the worst one, "the ho-ome of the freeeeeeee". A good baritone or tenor might pull it off, but it's been years and years since I heard any woman hit that note without sounding as if she just saw a large mouse!

While I'm ranting, could I also make a plea for singers to give up on "modernizing" the tune by warbling each note so that it rises and falls a tone or more before going on to the next note? I can't remember where or when this fad started, but I believe it's a refuge for those who simply can't read music. There's only one note there! Sing it! Sing ONLY that one note! Thank you.

Now let me offer an alternative. If a patriotic air must be sung before a game, how about choosing something that's easy to sing, so the soloist can handle it and everyone can join in.

That would be "God bless America"! It's a nice simple tune, easy to sing, and quite stirring. The Philadelphia Flyers use it occasionally when starting a crucial game. They used to wheel out Kate Smith to do the honours. Now they have to show her on film, but the crowd still loves it.

Yes...God bless America. But I suppose it wouldn't be politically correct to invoke the deity. Pity about spineless America, letting minorities dictate what the majority can or can't do in their own country.