Confessions of a Baptist

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" 

He said, "Nobody loves me." 

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?" 

He said, "Yes." 

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" 

He said, "A Christian." 

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" 

He said, "Protestant." 

I said, "Me, too! What denomination?" 

He said, "Baptist." 

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" 

He said, "Northern Baptist." 

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" 

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." 

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" 

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." 

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" 

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." 

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off the bridge.

From a comment by "Hog of Steel" on a Breitbart News story about the upcoming prayer meeting of two heretics (Pope Leo XIV and King Charles III) at the Vatican. According to Mr Steel, this was voted (he doesn't say by whom) the funniest religious joke of all time in 2005.