Trudeau to establish special court for Canuck protesters

Note from Ed.: Our legal beagle has just sent in the following report, of so startling a nature that we are posting it immediately, without receiving independent confirmation. Corrections may follow. Or not. As the case may be.

Blackie McBlackface, Prime Minister of All Canuckistan, and "Public Safety" Minister Marco Mendacious are about to announce that in light of the failure of the police and provincial courts to deal effectively (read: convict) with the freedom-loving truckers protesting in Ottawa and elsewhere, they will establish a new federal court, to be known as the Court of the Red Star Chamber.

Although the new court will not be bound by the niceties of the Criminal Code or common law, it will not able to impose the death penalty. However, it will have the power to employ "enhanced interrogation" (read: torture) to deal quickly and efficiently with anyone expressing (or even holding) unacceptable (read: anti-liberal) views.

The first two judges nominated by Mr Socks are the Hon. William Blair, Chief of the Toronto Police "Service" at the time of the G20 riots and currently unemployed (read: out of his depth as Minister of Emergency Preparedness), and Peter "Moves" Sloly, Chief of the Ottawa Police until his resignation on Monday.

It is expected that the new court will leap into inaction later today, in order to gain the advantage of surprise. Said Judge Blair, "Nobody expects the Red Star Chamber!"

The United States Department of Justice (sic) is said to be following this interesting development closely.