"Why I like being retired": thoughts from the home

Ed. here. Just in the nick of time (as Walt hasn't got out of second gear yet this month) Agent 9 sent us a piece of humour for us older folks, along with a note saying "I'm glad Walt isn't old! He just gets better." Many thanks.

Why I like being retired

Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called "Seniors"? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The Never-ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite.... Question: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing. Saturday and Sunday, I rest.

Walt will be back when he's finished resting... ... ...