Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Tourist sues for brain damage after hit by 16-lb pine cone

Remember Johnny Carson's old line, "May the bird of paradise leave a pine cone in your house!"? Better in your house than on your head, especially when the cone is from a bunya pine! I mean, look at the size of that thing! Imagine the damage one of those could do if it hit you on the head!

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, that's exactly the misfortune that befell US Navy veteran Sean Mace when he was visiting the Bay Area for Fleet Week last year. In a lawsuit filed in federal court, Mr. Mace says he went to the San Francisco Maritime National Historical Park at the Fort Mason Center to find a spot to watch the Blue Angels air show. He found what he thought was a peaceful place to read and rest in the northeast corner of the park, under a stand of coniferous Araucaria bidwillii trees. Those not up on God's language call them bunya pines or false monkey puzzle trees.

Mr. Mace was sitting under one such when a cone weighing 16 pounds fell on him and crushed his skull. Now, in the fine tradition of American law, he's suing the US government, the National Park Service, the Department of the Interior and the park where he was injured in the hopes of changing policies so that no one else falls victim to the same type of bizarre incident.

Oh. Yes. He wants $5,000,000 in damages too. Plus costs. His hired ambulance-chaser told the Chronicle, "This guy has an irreversible brain injury and he’s only in his mid-50s. He’s had two surgeries already and he is going to need a third.”

But, the lawyer went on, "First and foremost [Natch. Walt] the Park Service needs to do something to make sure this never happens again,” Johnson said. “This park is full of tourists and schoolchildren. Something needs to change."

Never let it be said that agencies of the US government are unresponsive to the cries of American citizens. Within mere seconds of the filing of Mr. Mace's suit, plastic fences were erected around the grove, and signs were posted warning, "Danger: Giant seed pod falling from tree".

Ed. has enlarged the image of the sign several times, but has not been able to find any disclaimer to the effect that the posting of the signs does not represent an admission of liability. If I were Mr. Mace's attorney, I'd be waving one of those signs in front of the jury. Guilty, guilty, guilty!!!

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