Walt has a fondness for strange place names. This he shares with, among others, Bill Bryson, who has recorded a lengthy list of US names in Made in America (1994). They include Eek AK, Zyzx Springs CA, and Rabbit Hash, Bug and OK, all in Kentucky.
I have a vague recollection of a similar list in Notes from a Small Island (1996) but can't put my finger on it right now. A Google search, however, turns up the "Ultimate List of Funny and Rude British Place Names" on a website called Anglotopia. Who but the Brits could come up with cringe-worthy names as Shittington, Lickers and Crapstone? Yet people must live there.
Although it's one of the four great English-speaking countries, has relatively few funny places names, once you leave aside those of aboriginal origin, like Wooloomaloo (site of the famous university) and Wagga Wagga.
The brings us to Canada, which has its fair share and more, since some of the French place names are humorous too. Two of Walt's French favourites are St-Louis-du-Ha-Ha and Mille Vaches, both in Québec. One of Walt's agents (who is not gay) lives near Fruitland ON. Some of the funniest, though are in Newfoundland and Labrador, where you can visit Blow Me Down, Come By Chance, Bumblebee Bight, and the ever-popular Dildo.
But staid old Ontario is not to be outdone, particularly in the United Empire Loyalist region in the southeast of that province. The following story, only slightly edited here for dramatic effect, appeared in Ottawa-area papers today.
Ontario Provincial Police today charged a woman with theft of a motor vehicle, fleeing police, possession of property obtained by crime over $5,000 and failing to comply with conditions of an undertaking, after she allegedly fled in a stolen truck full of ice cream.
The OPP say the woman, 24, stole the refrigerated delivery truck from a Shell gas station in Perth ON, about 80 kilometres southwest of Ottawa, as the driver made deliveries on Thursday morning. After searching the area, police officers found the truck heading down Wilson Street West in Perth. It finally stopped at a quarry on Highway 7, east of Perth.
The woman was scheduled to appear for a bail hearing on Thursday. She is a resident of Bastard and South Burgess Township, located south of Perth.
Walt wonders if people who live in that township have extra-wide drivers licences to accommodate its full name. Or do they just call it "Bastard etc Twp" for short? Whatever they call it, it's bound to finish on the podium in our Funny Place Name of the Year contest. Readers are invited to submit their entries in the comment box below. Prizes TBA.
Further reading: "How about a better name for Biggar?" (WWW 24/12/13). And let's not overlook Tisdale SK, "Land of rape and honey ???" (WWW 21/4/15). Come to think of it, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan sounds pretty funny too, but those names are derived from aboriginal languages, so they don't count.
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