Monday, September 30, 2013

Sex on train tracks thrilling but deadly


Does this look to you like a good place to have sex? Thrilling, maybe, but safe, definitely not! And yet a 30-something Ukrainian woman and her 41-year-old partner did just that, on the train tracks running through the middle of Kiev.

The pair had been walking home after a night out, this past weekend, when they felt the urge to have sex. "Returning from our friends', my girlfriend and I could not overcome our passionate nature and wanted to feel a sense of thrill near a railway track," the man reportedly told police in a statement. The cops confirmed that drink had been taken.

Caught by a train with their pants down, the amorous pair suffered dire consequences of giving in to their lust. The woman was killed instantly and the man has his legs amputated below the knee. The woman thus leaps to the top of the heap (of corpses) in the race for this year's Gold Darwin Award.

According to Ukraine's Ministry of Internal Affairs, in a release picked up by the International Business Times, police have opened a criminal probe over a potential safety violation. They did not say whether the person under investigation is the legless lover or the train driver. The latter has denied saying that he didn't give a hoot. "I did give a hoot -- two or three hoots, in fact," he told police, "but the couple just kept on f*cking."

[Is the asterisk part of the Ukrainian alphabet? Ed.]

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