Thursday, January 3, 2013

Why Alex stuck a firecracker up his Aussiehole

It takes awhile for some of the news to reach Walt's cabin in the pines, especially if the news comes from the Antipodes [rhymes with "Auntie Rhodes". Ed.] Here's one that hasn't yet appeared in The Darwin Awards, but certainly deserves an honourable mention in the race to the bottom of the IQ chart.

Back last July, Australian bon vivant Alex Bowden, 23, decided to put a spinning "flying bee" winged firecracker in his butt crack, apparently as a star turn at a rather boisterous party. "I had a few lads up from Queensland and I had to put on a good show," he told the Northern Territory News from his hospital bed.

"I just had a few beers with the boys and let off a few firecrackers," Mr. Bowden continued, "and I put one in my arse."

Fortunately for him, he was wearing trousers at the time, otherwise the damage might have been considerably worse. "It didn't burn my balls or my back," he said, "just my fingers and my arse." The index, middle, and ring fingers of his right hand were burned when he pulled the cracker out of his crack.

Mr. Bowden was not bleeding afterwards, and was still able to walk. One of his mates -- not the one who lit the fuse but another drongo -- said, "He screamed a little bit and there were a fair few f-words".

But Mr. Bowden denied that there were tears. "You can't sit here crying," he told the NT News reporter. Indeed.

Yes, a Darwin Award must be given out, if only because of the location. Wagaman is a suburb of Darwin, in Australia's Northern Territory.

What?! Surely you don't think Walt is making this up! Here's the original report from the website of the Northern Territory News.

Note from Angry Ed.: We regret that we can't upload a pic of the fearless firecracker handler. Blogger wants to force us to put all our pix -- and even the pix that aren't ours! -- on Picasa, so they can use them for their own nefarious purposes. We will not do it! No pasaran! See following post (above).

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