Monday, October 22, 2012

A reading guide to the lamestream newspapers

Regular readers of WWW will know that Walt is... or was... a regular reader of the Globe and Mail, [aka the Groan and Wail. Ed.] which claims to be "Canada's national newspaper". This was so because the Mop and Pail, not being American, usually has a more balanced, middle-of-the-road view of American politics plus international news and analysis. In this respect it is much like the Economist, which is the one medium Walt really trusts. As a plus, the Mope and Flail has Canadian news and some good columnists, like Margaret Wente.

Which is too bad, because the Glom and Maul today inaugurated a paywall. By so doing, editor John Stackhouse evidently intends to stem the tide of red ink which threatens to engulf the publication. Like a Canadian King Canute. Good luck to him. It'll be a frosty Friday in Hades before Walt parts with 20 Canuckbucks [How much is that in real money? Ed.] to read the G&M's daily paean of praise for Steve Harpoon and leftie drivel from the likes of Gerry Caplan.

Hundreds of assiduous readers have posted comments to the same effect on the Globe's website. Among them, I found the following, which I first saw years ago but didn't keep on file.

A Guide to Your Reading

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

And for the Canucks...

9. The Globe & Mail is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they agree with all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarves, who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy as long as they are Conservatives and Harper-Card-Carrying types.

So... which newspaper do you read?

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