Ma Bell wakes up at last

Agent 3 grew up (more or less) in southern Ontario in the days when the Bell Telephone Co. was the only telecommunications game in town. They provided very good telephone service -- no TV, no internet -- at reasonable rates. If there was a problem, you called the local operator who fixed it or sent someone out.

Then came the telecommunications explosion: the internet, cable TV, wireless, mobile phones and other electronic gizmos which are supposed to improve communications around the world and right around home. Unless, that is, you're trying to communicate with your service provider.

Gone are the days when you could dial "0" and talk to a real person, maybe even a neighbour. First we had the late unlamented Emily, an automaton who, although she didn't understand very well, at least spoke with a good North American accent. Then came outsourcing.

Having spent many years overseas before returning to Canada in the mid-90s, Agent 3 thought he could cope reasonably well with unfamiliar accents and vocabularies such as might be uttered by native speakers of Swahili, Chinese or even British English. But he hadn't recked with Bell's "service personnel" in India or the vicissitudes of "Indian English". (If you doubt there is such a thing, consult The Oxford Companion to the English Language.)

To avoid having an apoplectic fit, Agent 3 resorted to dialling "2" for service in French. That used to get you someone in Montréal who could be persuaded to switch to English. No more. The best ploy now, for internet service, is to chat online. If you can see on your screen what they're trying to say, usually you can figure it out.

The problem with the unintelligble accents of the Indians was getting so bad that other telecoms companies started to advertise "Canada-based service operators"!

You will understand Agent 3's reluctance, then, to sign on for Bell TV. Finally he did so, all the while dreading the day when he would have to make a service call. Last night the screen went black during the Canadiens game, so he had no choice but to pick up the phone and call 1-888-SKY-DISH. (Well, he might have tried trouble-shooting himself, but Agent 3 is a Luddite.)

Imagine Agent 3's surprise when the phone was answered on the second ring (after pressing "1" for service in English) by a pleasant-voiced young lady who spoke clear Canadian English! She got to the bottom of the problem quickly too, and walked 3 through the reset process in time to see the next goal.

Suitably impressed, Agent 3 asked the young lady if she was in Montreal or Toronto, only to be told that she was in Manila! How about that! So it seems that Ma Bell, never the first with the best, has finally figured out that there are alternatives to the cheapest outsourced workers.

Maybe they're paying the Filipinos a little more, but they'll reap the reward in customer satisfaction with the service experience. There's more to service than fixing the problem. As advertising guru David Ogilvy said, "the customer should get a first-class ride to his destination". It seems Ma Bell has at last listened to its customers' demands for just that!