True (stupid!) crime stories

Kind of a slow news day yesterday. Canadian Prime Minister Blackie McBlackface followed President Brandon's lead ["leash", shurely. Ed.] by saying Canada would join the "diplomatic boycott" of the upcoming Beijing Olympics. Meaningless virtue-signalling is what liberal democrats are good at. Do the Chinese give a 粪? Not so's you'd notice....

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. My topic for today is the stupidity of the "reparations shopping" now forcing businesses in Democrat-controlled cities across the Paranoid States of America to board up their windows. If I were Neiman-Marcus [You wish! Ed.], I'd close all my brick-and-mortar shops and allow people to buy my over-priced junk only online. If the department stores, electronics stores, clothing stores, liquor stores, etc all did that, certain "communities" would be left with nothing to loot but grocery stores.

Senseless and stupid crime does not pay, as witness these True Stories, taken from the "Crime Report" in the August 1987 issue of National Lampoon. 

A man was charged with robeery after passing an Orlando FL bank teller a stickup note written on the back of his own probation-parole card.

Another man held up the First Insterstate Bank in Tucson AZ with a note written on the back of his own pay stub. [He was employed?! Ed.]

A sixteen-year-old Marvin, of Rochester NY, was arrested after his report card was found at the site of a burglary. "His marks weren't too good either," said a police spokesthingy.

A Mount Pleasant SC man called police and claimed he had placed bombs thoughout the Charleston and Columbia airport terminals. He demanded that two million dollars be placed in his bank account, and supplied police with the name of the bank and the account number.

Police in Fulton County GA [site of a hyuge fraud in November 2020. Ed.] said an Atlanta man entered a bank there and handed the teller a note demanding a bag of money. He was arrested after he left the bank, walked across the street to a Starvin' Marvin and bought a beer.

San Mateo CA cops arrested a man for the theft of a 400-lb. safe from a hotel less than a block from his home. They followed the gouge marks he left in the concrte as he dragged the safe home.

And in Utah, when police arrested a man suspected of breaking a 7-11 window, he denied it. But when he was told a clerk had seen him, he remarked, "No-one saw me. I waited until there wewre no customers in the store."

Got time for one more? After robbing assistant restaurant manager Janice Head at knifepoint and taking her pocketbook, the assailant called to ask her out. Nashville TN police arrested him when he showed up for his date.

[Do you suppose that the victim, before she became assistant manager of the restaurant, was the Head waitress? Ed.]

The "All-New Super-Colossal True Facts Section" of the August 1987 National Lampoon has hundreds of rib-tickling stories like this, proving once again that truth is funnier than fiction. Our sponsor has one (1) copy for sale here.

Further reading: "Mayor Lori Lightfoot Blames Chicago Retailers for Not Fighting Crime", by John Nolte, Breitbart News, 9/12/21. True crime story! Excerpt: "...the retail smash-and-grab epidemic is not the fault of the Democrats who run Chicago’s government as an unopposed monopoly. Instead, it is retailers’ fault, so they must now 1) create a private police force, 2) lock up all their merchandise, and 3) stop attracting crime with all their fancy merchandise."

LAME! Brandon announces "diplomatic boycott" of Commie Olympics

There is a special place in hell (so it is said) for those who, in a time of moral crisis, refuse to take a stand. If weakness and indecisiveness lead you to hades, President Brandon is well on the road. In fact he's in the fast lane! 

Case in point: Yesterday's announcement (made by the ubiquitous Jen Psaki, since the Grim Creeper is increasinbly unable to read the autocue) of an American "diplomatic boycott" of the Winter Olympics, to be held early next year in Communist China. 

What (Walt hears you ask) is a diplomatic boycott? If you want to express your condemnation of the Red Chinese genocide of that country's Uyghur minority, you boycott the Olympics completely, totally and absolutely. Have nothing to do with Mr Xi's propaganda games, clearly modelled on Hitler's 1936 Berlin Olympics to show what a great and powerful nation Communist China has become. 

But nooooo... Sleepy Joe doesn't want to go that far. It might be bad for business, dontcha know. So he has adopted the mugwump strategy. You know what a "mugwump" is, don't you?

The idea is to have it both ways -- do something while at the same time not doing anything! So the "diplomatic boycott" means that 100s of American dips, politicians and sports executives won't get to visit Beijing in the (ugh, brrrrrr) winter. But American athletes will get the chance to do a Jesse Owens and show up the Chinese super-athletes in front of their Dear Leader.

What does the rest of the world think of this? Another sign of weakness from a doddering old man who is a good bet not to finish out his term. It's not the first such failure. There was the Afghaistan debacle. Then there was the failure to respond to the Colonial pipeline attack, followed by the failure to stop the Nord Stream 2 pipeline. America's enemies look at these things as opportunities to step up their plans for aggression, knowing Brandon will do nothing to stop them.

Cases in point: The Chinese are rattling sabres [flying fighter jets, actually. Ed.] across the Taiwan Strait, threatening the long-promised invasion to reclaim the "rogue province". And the Russians are massing troops along the border of occupied Crimea, preparing for war against what's left of Ukraine.The Russians and the Chinese know the Brandon administration lacks the fortitude to do anything serious for a strong defence of other nations. So they're going to go do anything and everything they please, knowing they're going to get away with it. 

The US State Department is tut-tutting vigorously, promising that if push comes to shove, stern measures will be taken... up to and including a "diplomatic boycott". President Brandon's inabililty to make up his mind, let alone order any concrete action, not only discourages whatever allies the USA has left, but encourages America's enemies.

Can Russia and China be stopped from dominating the rest of the world, economically and by force of arms? The question is not how they can be stopped, but who is going to stop them!

EXCLUSIVE: Kamala Harris speaks her mind

There has been a lot of talk, in the last few weeks, of moves by Democratic Party insiders to push Kamala Harris out of the Vice-Presidency, to make room for a woman who would be a suitable replacement for President Brandon for the 2024 election, or sooner, if his "retirement" can be conveniently and decently arranged.

Some of the rats in Ms Harris' office have already jumped ship. It was announced last week that Symone Sanders, the Veep's chief spokesthingy, would soon depart. Peter Velz, her director of press operations, and Vince Evans, the deputy director of the Office of Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs [Seriously? That's his title? Ed.] are also said to be looking for the exit door.

What was originally inside-the-Beltway chatter about the competence of the first Indo-Jamaican-American Vice-President has spilled into view, threatening to chip away at Democratic morale. It is rumoured that Ms Harris would refuse to analyze briefing materials set forth by employees, but then scold them if she appeared unprepared. 

One senior staffer allegedly told WaPo, "It's clear that you're not working with somebody who is willing to do the prep and the work. With Kamala you have to put up with a constant amount of soul-destroying criticism and also her own lack of confidence. So you're constantly sort of propping up a bully and it's not really clear why." 

As is well known, Walt is a champion of fairness and justice for all. Audi alteram partem! That's my motto! [It means: My other car's an Audi. Ed.] So, as a public service, I persuaded Ms Harris to sit down for a little heart-to-heart. Here's her side of the story.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm in this rat race. It's not for the money, believe me. My husband is the money-maker in the family. You start in politics because you've got ideas. You want to try them out, to help people. 

At first, you're gratified by the response you get. If you win, you're deliriously happy. Then the honeymoon is over. After that, it's "gimme, gimme, gimme." Nobody's really interested in you or your program, especially if you're a woman, especially a woman of colour, especially a woman of two colours!

When I was campaigning for the Democratic nomination, I finally realized that the game wasn't worth it. I grew to hate all those people who lined up to meet me in city after city. It was all a fake. Fake enthusiasm drummed up by the back-room men. 

 The women in this country are full of shit. If they liked me as much as they claimed, why didn't they all vote for me? Anyone with an ounce of brains could see I was a hell of a lot smarter than Biden -- he has Alzheimer's, for God's sake -- and that Jew Sanders or that fag Buttigeig. I mean really! 

They were all liars and hypocrites. It was all lip service to the women's movement until the chips were down, and then all the women just peed in their pants and left me flat.

I think most women are afraid to have a woman a heartbeat away from the presidency, let alone in the Oval Office. They think I would crack up in a crisis and cry. Or that I have cranky moods when I have my period. As far as I'm concerned, most women are small-minded, petty, insensitive and stupid, especially the "Squad" and those bitches on "The View". They are all shits, not worth a dime. All of them.

I'm going to jump ship just as soon as my appointment to the Supreme Court comes through. (As President of the Senate, I can vote for my own confirmation, you know!) Then let them appoint Mrs Bill Clinton or, God help us, the lovely Michelle. See what happens then!

Too funny not to share

Jen Psaki Announces President Biden Will Visit Family Of Traumatized Waukesha SUV Driver 

This headline comes from the Babylon Bee, Your Trusted Source for Fake News. So you know it's a spoof, right? But would you be surprised if it turned out to be true?

We can't copy the photo, and we know BB would be very upset if we reposted the entire (and entirely fake and funny) article, so we'll just let you click on the headline for your weekend laugh.

Further reading (in case you missed it): "Waukesha WI: accident or 'incident'?" WWW 22/11/21.

Latest US employment report weak; some seasonal jobs still available

Breitbart News reports that the American economy added 210,00 jobs in November and the unemployment rate sank to 4.2 percent. This was a far weaker jobs report than expected. 

Economists had forecast 545,000 positions added to payrolls and an unemployment rate of 4.5 percent, according to Econoday. The unemployment rates for adult men and adult women declined to 4.0 percent. 

The white unemployment rate fell to 3.7 percent and the black unemployment rate fell to 6.7 percent. The Hispanic unemployment rate declined to 5.2 percent. There was little change in the unemployment rates for Asians, at 3.8 percent, or teenagers, at 11.2 percent. 

The labor force participation rate inched up to 61.8 percent in November but remains 1.5 percentage points lower than in February 2020. The employment-population ratio rose by 0.4 percentage point to 59.2 percent in November. This measure is up from its low of 51.3 percent in April 2020 but remains below the figure of 61.1 percent in February 2020. 

Surprisingly, employment in retail trade declined by 20,000 in November. General merchandise stores shed 20,000 jobs, clothing stores shrank employment by 18,000, and sporting goods, hobby, book, and music store employment declined by 9,000. That raises questions about the strength of retail going into the holiday Christmas season.

There are, however, a number of openings for seasonal help. See drawaing at left, which originally appeared in the January 1986 "Good Clean Sex...Again" issue of National Lampoon. Our kindly sponsor has one copy for sale, cheap, here.

VIDEO: New Covid variant hits South Park!

It's been years (really!) since I watched a full episode of South Park, since it's not on "free" TV any more. I don't think I'm the only one who won't pay for programming I'll never watch just to see one show, as clips from the latest episodes appear on YouTube within hours of being aired. 

In this one, set in the South Park of the Future -- yet strangely in the present -- citizens of South Park go into panic mode when it is revealed that Dr Kenny McCormick died of a new variant of the kung flu. Think about this as you're shopping today for turkey or toilet paper.

 

Panic over nothing. It's what Americans do best. But the South African discoverer of the Omicron variant is officially telling everyone to calm down . In a column for the UK Daily Mail, Angelique Coetzee criticized the global ramp-up of travel bans, mask mandates and quarantine extensions wrought by the new variant. 

"The simple truth is: we don't know yet anywhere near enough about Omicron to make such judgments or to impose such policies," she wrote, adding that there is still no evidence of anybody being hospitalized due to Omicron. "If, as some evidence suggests, Omicron turns out to be a fast-spreading virus with mostly mild symptoms for the majority of the people who catch it, that would be a useful step on the road to herd immunity."

VIDEO: Michael Matt on Jordan Peterson's "Warning to the World"

Last Sunday was the first Sunday of Advent, the season in which Christians prepare for the coming of the Light -- Jesus Christ -- into the darkness of the world. It's a pretty dark world we live in right now, and many people are looking for a light, a truth, to live by during these hard times. 

Among them is Dr Jordan Peterson, whose videos have been reposted here many times. Dr Peterson is a very wise man, wise enough to know he doesn't have all the answers. As he tells us at the beginning of this video, he too is searching for the verities of the Eternal Truth. 

Then Michael Matt, editor of The Remnant newspaper, explains why he believes the Truth is to be found in the Catholic Church. In just ten minutes he describes (much more powerfully than I could) why he is a traditional Catholic, and why we must pray and, yes, fight harder now than ever to make the Truth of the Faith known and believed.

This video was excerpted from "THE ONE WORLD RELIGION: Francis and the Abrahamic Family House", first posted on Remnant TV in November. We omitted the first part of the original, in which Mr Matt gives his further thoughts on the Covid "crisis". 

Part of our edited version was further edited by YouTube to cut out video of Pope Bergoglio signing an agreement with Muslim leaders to build a church next to a mosque and a synagogue in Abu Dhabi. The organization objecting to that being seen is called "the Committee for Human Fraternity". That tells you all you need to know, right there. Click on the link to hear the entire, uncensored program on Remnant TV.

Let us close with the Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel. Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.