Land acknowledgment ceremonies now de rigueur in USA and Canada

On his visit to Canuckistan at the start of the week (see "The Queen of Horsewomen", WWW 27/5/25), King Charles III began his Speech from the Throne with the now mandatory (and ever-meaningless) land acknowledgment ceremony, which is a kind of Confiteor in which liberals afflicted with white guilt concede that the land on w hich they live was filched from the Indians (feathers, not turbans) by their evil, colonialist ancestors.

Ed.: That sets a record for the longest run-on sentence ever posted on WWW. Please don't do that again.

OK, OK. I will simply point out that apologizing for mistakes made by their unwoke ancestors is not just part of Canadian culture, but official government policy. As witness this press conference given by a spokesthingy for the Nova Scotia division of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (aka "Mounties") on 7 May 2025.

That right there shows you what a joke a country can become under prolonged rule by liberal wokesters. Not only did they apologize to the Mi'kmaq (aka Micmac), the local Indians First Nations,but to "Nova Scotian Africans" as well. Hey, they're a distinct people... apparently. And notice the bilingual preface as well, even though there's nary a soul in Nova  Scotia who speaks la langue de Molière. 40 seconds wasted before getting to the point of the presser.

American readers shouldn't be smug, though. These land acknowledgment jokes are common enough in the Paranoid States of America. As witness this one:

Land Acknowledgment: The Babylon Bee Wishes To Acknowledge That Our Offices Are Located On Land Once Occupied By Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC (14/10/24)

and this one 

Housewarming Party Kicks Off With Land Acknowledgement For The Johnsons Who Lived There Since 2019 (28/5/25)

OK, they're from the Babylon Bee, of course. Who else? But if you arrive on time for any kind of gtovernment event in any blue state (or even some of the red ones), don't be surprised to hear the ritual incantation of: Hiya, hiya, hiya. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 

One question remains. If we're so sorry that we took their land away from our fine feathered friends, why don't we just give it back to them?!

Funny Canadian headline

There seems to be considerable interest in the funny headlines we post here from time to time. Perhaps it's because nothing else is funny any more. Anyhoo, Agent 3 sent us this one, seen yesterday on Canada's Global TV website. 

Non-Canuck readers will be forgiven for thinking that the accompanying story is about the rumour that Blackie McBlackface and his wife separated because of his affair with a toothsome staffer, but it isn't. Oh, this works on soooo many levels! LMAO

A contribution from one of our agents

Ed. here. During Walt's self-exile, we welcome contributions from our agents. Agent 9 has stepped up with this bit of Canadiana.

Justin Trudeau walks into a Royal Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says: "Good morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me?" 

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Trudeau: "Truthfully [Seriously? Ed.], I didn't bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Justin Trudeau, the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada and Prime Minister of all Canuckistan!" 

Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the CIDC legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Trudeau: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr. Trudeau, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Trudeau: "I am urging you, please, to cash this cheque."

Cashier: "Well, Mr. Trudeau, maybe we could do something like this. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque. "Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, Mr. Trudeau, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"

Trudeau stands there thinking and thinking, and finally says: "Honestly [Seriously? Ed.], my mind is totally blank, I have absolutely no idea what to do, I don't have a clue." 

Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. Trudeau?"

I suspect that the target of this little jape was originally President Brandon, the one who stashes top-secret documents near his Corvette, in case he or The Boy needs them while out for a Sunday drive. Thanks and a tip o' the beretta to Agent 9.

VIDEO: Bill Burr talks about "male feminists" (like Justin Trudeau)

Let me set this up for you. A few days ago I sent a little joke to a dear Canadian friend who I've known for nearly half a century. This is the joke. 

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addressed a major gathering of the Canadian First Nations peoples. He spoke for about an hour about his plans for increasing their present standard of living across many areas in Canada. Though very vague in detail with many ums ahs and ers, went on at great length about how much he wanted to help his indigenous brothers and sisters, and how sorry he was for all the bad things palefaces had done to them in the past.

Afterwards, the Grand Chiefs presented him with a nice handmade plaque inscribed with his newly given Native name -- "Walking Goose" -- which he accepted gratefully. Many pictures of this historic event were taken, and many minutes of video presented on the CBC News. 

After M Trudeau left, a reporter asked the Chiefs how they came up with this new Native name for him. They explained to him that "Walking Goose" is a name given to a bird that is so full of shit that it can no longer fly!

My friend's reply was "Careful...he’s my Walking Goose!"

My dear friend is, as you may have guessed already, a lady. We have never discussed why she is such a big fan of Mr Socks, but I suspect her adulation may have something to do with his constantly referring to himself as a "male feminist".

Today I remembered hearing someone talk about "male feminists". It was Bill Burr, in Paper Tiger, a hilarious rant delivered at London's Royal Albert Hall not quite two years ago. Here's what Mr Burr had to say.

 

There's a lot more good stuff in Paper Tiger, including a rant about Democratic presidents' wives. Click here to see the trailer. 

And to my dear friend, please don't be the last to see that the Emperor has no clothes... except the socks, of course!

A tale from the part of North America where the sun rises first

Agent 5 has been busy lately... mighty busy... but has taken time from his busy schedule to send us a story from Canada's happiest province, Newfoundland. Truth or fiction? You be the judge!

 

The Newfoundland Department of Employment believed a boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his help. An agent was sent to the fishing village of Burin to investigate the boat owner.

Government Agent: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.

Boat Owner: Well, there's Clarence, my hired hand. He's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, and pays his own room and board. I buy him a bottle of Lamb's rum and a dozen Moosehead every Saturday night so he can cope with life. Also, he gets to sleep with my wife occasionally. 

Government Agent: That's the guy I want to talk to -- the mentally challenged one."

Boat Owner: That'll be me. What'd you want to know?

Jill Colton strikes again - Trudeau 2019 campaign ad

Speaking of Canuck Prime Minister Just In Trudeau (mentioned in my earlier post today), many Canadians are relieved to know that Mr Dressup has to face the electorate in about 16 months. Yet they are anxious over the possibility that he just might be re-elected, if campaign ads like this one impress a sufficient number of hosers.



To Jill Colton, a big WELL DONE. Keep `em coming. And thanks to Agent 3 for sending us the link.

Canucks erect statue honouring That Guy from That Show

Walt is occasionally accused of making fun of Canadians, those adorable frost-backed creatures from north of the World's Longest (and Most Porous) Border. But trust me, just as fish feel no pain when you take the hook out of their mouths, Canucks don't mind being the butt of jokes about how they speak or how naïve they are. One of the nice things about them, compared with their "cousins" to the south is that they don't take themselves seriously. If you don't believe me, follow the antics of Prime Minister Dress-up for a few months, and you'll see.

As proof, we offer the following article, written by Meg MacKay, which appeared recently on the "Comedy" page of the Canadian Broadcorping Castration website, under the headline: "Statue erected for beloved Canadian actor 'that guy from that show'".

To honour 20 years of That Actor Guy appearing in Canadian Entertainment, a statue has been erected in downtown Toronto.

"We really want to celebrate That Guy's contribution to Canadian culture," a spokesperson said. "He was great on that show that was probably about cops, the High School one, that TV movie about World War One or Two, and also that American movie where he played an Irish dude for like, seven seconds."

"We don't think he was in the High School one," said another spokesperson. "We think that was That Other Guy who is in a Band Now."

Other notable credits for That Guy include "A Cop Movie Where It's Supposed to be in New York but the CN Tower is Clearly Visible in Every Exterior Shot", "That Horse Show That's Set in Nebraska but is Obviously Sudbury", and most famously, "A Sci-Fi Reboot that is Meant to be Future Detroit but All the Cars Have Nova Scotia License Plates."

The statue depicts the man in his signature role, "Loveable Man in Rural Town That's Either in Saskatchewan or Newfoundland", where he played a hard-done-by dad and/or son and/or police officer. It will broadcast a Wifi signal, so passersby can Google whether or not he's the guy they were thinking of.

"I've been a huge fan of this guy for a long time," said a man who was either on a CBC show in the '90s, or is a Former Politician. "Although honestly, I saw him on the street one time and I couldn't remember if he was a famous Canadian actor or someone I lost touch with from college."

"We are all so proud of what he's done for the visibility and notoriety of Canadian artists," said an actress who might be the guy's wife or possibly his sister. The actress also might have co-featured with him in a recent Christmas movie starring a disgraced member of the band 98 Degrees.

A ribbon-cutting and statue unveiling event is scheduled for later this month. The event boasts live musical performances from A Band You Really Liked in High School, as well as That Band Who Does that Song Your Mom Always Sings Wrong. Featured speakers are An Olympian From the 90s, a Well-Respected 30- or 40- year Veteran Stand-Up Comic, and Don Cherry.

"It feels great to be recognized for all the work I've done," said John or Don or whatever his name is. "I look forward to using this credit to get my visa so I can move to the States."

Walt commends Meg MacKay (is that a Canuck name or what?!) for a fine piece, and recommends that she submit something to The Onion, where more than a dozen people might read it.

VIDEO: WWW TV commercial of the year 2017

As Frances McDormand said, there are already way too many awards, so one more won't hurt. That's right, campers, it's time for our annual WWW Excellence in Advertising Award for the year 2017. This year we have two strong contenders. The first to be nominated was "Gear of a champion", advanced last spring by the Bank of Nova Scotia to prove that even big banks can be athletic supporters.

The other, first flighted last fall, is "Return of the Snowman", which Walt believes was created by the same agency that did "Winter Warriors", our winner for 2013. Our apologies, but YouTube... or someone... has taken down the video to which that post links. Here's the 2017 version, even better than the first one -- a minute of winter horror for Nissan Canada.



And the winner is... may I have the envelope please... cue drum roll... "Gear of a champion"!

Note from Ed.: We don't really do this every year, just whenever there's something that tickles Walt's funny bone, like the Olex caveman commercial which should have won in 2014 except we forgot.

A vision of Canada's future -- headlines from the year 2030

From the Great No-longer-white North, one of Walt's Agents has sent some headlines which, using his crystal ball, he has seen in Canadian newspapers from the year 2030.

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions

* White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Canada's third language

* Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being "different". Tolerance urged

* Brampton schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a burqa: Sharia law to be strictly enforced

* Japan announces that Japanese will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and workers in the scientific research fleet are unemployed. Canadian government tells Japanese squirrels taste like whalemeat.

* Canada now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of U of T says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people "saying what they think"

* Canada's deficit $20 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years -- 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf calls increased growth through more immigration the secret to success.

* Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped!

* Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels

* France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic countries. No other country volunteers to help the beleaguered nation

* Jose Manuel Rodriguez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

* Canada Post raises price of stamps to $28 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

* Average weight of Canadian males drops to 252 lbs

* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime

* Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches

* New Liberal government law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons

* Revenue Canada sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

American newspapers will likely feature similar headlines... only sooner!

Canadian Armed Forces' "Operation Hop on Her"

Meet General Tom Lawson, formerly Canada's Chief of Defence Staff. His retirement in July had nothing to do his claim in June that sexual harassment was still an issue in the Canadian Armed Forces because men were "biologically wired in a certain way."

General Lawson was commenting on a report by former Supreme Court of Canada Justice Marie Deschamps, who had looked into a number of reports of sexual assault and harassment in the Canadian military. Her report, released on April 30th, raised warnings about a "sexualized culture" that subjected women in uniform to abuse ranging from sexual jokes and harassment to rape. She concluded that sexual misconduct was not only "endemic" in the Canadian Forces, but accepted by the military leadership.

Strong stuff, eh! To deal with the politically incorrect situation, the Canucks chose a lady, Lieutenant-General Christine Whitecross, to head a special team to, errr... well... deal with it.

But wait (as Vince Offer used to say), there's more! Incoming top dog General Jon Vance unveiled a hard-hitting plan to crack down on sexual misconduct in the ranks and send a tough message to those who engage in sexual harassment, assault or other inappropriate behaviour. He called it "Operation Honour".

But, Canadian boys being Canadian boys, it didn’t take long for some uniformed wags to come up with a new name for the plan. Some recruits at the Royal Military College, as well as other Canadian Forces personnel including individuals at National Defence headquarters in Ottawa, transmuted "Op Honour" to "Hop On `Er". [Geddit? If not, imagine saying "Op Honour" with a French-Canadian accent. It's a pun! See, now? Ed.]

Military officers told the Ottawa Citizen (our source for this story) that they'd heard such terminology, but couldn't say how widespread the use of the phrase has been. Canadian Forces spokesthingy Captain Jean-François Lambert said in an e-mail to the paper that the crude rephrasing of "Operation Honour" is unacceptable and not condoned. "These matters do not call for levity. This type of behaviour is one of the many reasons [Gen. Vance] has implemented Operation Honour. We expect all members [of the military] to take this issue seriously."

But how seriously does the CAF take it?  After not quite three months, Lt-Gen. Whitecross has been reassigned. The new head of the "Strategic Response Team on Sexual Misconduct" is Rear Admiral Jennifer Bennett, who took over on September 28th.

In her short time on the job, Lt-Gen. Whitecross racked up a lot of air miles, on Canuck taxpayers' dime. She visited 13 military bases and installations across the Great Not-so-white North to hear directly about sexual misconduct. [From whom did she hear? Ed.] She also travelled to the USA, whose armed forces have a stellar record on the file, as well as France, Australia, Sweden, Belgium, Switzerland, the Netherlands and Denmark.

Asked about the rather sudden departure of Lt-Gen. Whitecross, Capt. Lambert explained that Rear Admiral Bennett, previously in charge of reserves and military cadets, will still report to Lt-Gen. Whitecross, who is now in charge of the military personnel command. And, he said, "the overall effort against sexual misconduct is led by the Chief of the Defence Staff." So that's OK then.

Capt. Lambert added that the military believes it has made significant progress dealing with sexual misconduct but "we cannot expect to change culture overnight." Which is more or less what General Lawson said. Capt. Lambert's retirement is expected to be announced shortly.

Humorous footnote: Walt cannot refrain from repeating a story about two officers in a Canadian regiment [the Forlorn Scots? Ed.] who were chatting in the mess.
Said the first one, "Did you hear about old Smythe? Got drummed out of the service."
"Why?" asked the second.
"Got caught screwing a polar bear," was the reply.
"Male or female polar bear?" was the next question.
"Male, of course!" was the response. "Nothing wrong with old Smythe!"

Mounties get their goat -- a real Canadian story

Readers occasionally ask if Walt is a Canadian making fun of Americans, or an American making fun of Canadians. Let it be remembered that no-one needs to make fun of Canadians, because they quite enjoy making fun of themselves. One has only to watch SCTV's "Great White North" segments, featuring Bob and Doug McKenzie, the quintessential hosers, or watch for the Canadian jokes included in so many episodes of The Simpsons.

One of the big differences between Americans and their northern cousins is that Canucks refuse to take themselves seriously, whereas Americans take themselves much too seriously. That's a fact... a Canadian fact... brought to you by the Canadian Ministry of Facts.

Today we have the perfect example of the Canadian sense of humour in a true story from Warman SK, a crossroads remembered none too affectionately by one of Walt's agents, who passed this along.

Early Sunday morning, two Mounties from the Warman detachment were called to a Tim Hortons in nearby Martensville for an unusual disturbance -- a goat refusing to leave the store (or "coffee and bakeshop", as Tim's is called south of the border).

The RCMP issued a press release -- really -- which confirmed that "There was a stubborn goat refusing to leave the establishment. The employees would ask him to leave and walk him outside, but he would just turn around and come back in through the automatic doors."

RCMP believe the goat was simply cold and decided to sleep in the space. Store employees said the goat ambled through the parking lot, and took a nap in the drive-through at one point. Store owner Camille Barzeele said, "One of [our employees] stayed with him to make sure he didn't get run over, and the other one called the cops."

RCMP said the goat was "arrested" and taken into their cruiser. (No, the Mounties don't ride horses any more, not even in Saskatchewan.) But, they said, "He was very unhappy with this so the members decided to take him home instead of to holding cells at the detachment."


"We are happy to report that the goat is safe and sound back with his owners after his adventurous night out on the town," the press release concluded. "Employees at the Tim Hortons in Martensville see all sorts of customers overnight. This one wasn't kidding around."

How about that, eh?! But when you think about the differences between Canadians and Americans, consider how this story might have played out had it occurred a few hundred miles due south, say in the middle of Wyoming. The errant goat would surely have been shot.

In Canada, if it remained in the store another night, it would only have been taxed. That's right... a tax on real property abutting and abounding on public lands, taxed at the rate of X dollars per front foot. [Aaaaarrrggghhh! Ed.] 

Canadian chicken tries to cross road, doesn't make it

It's a lazy, sunny September day here in Fort Mudge. Kind of a slow day, as Sundays sometimes are. Must be the same at CBC News, which ran a story about a chicken trying to cross the road in Hamilton ON. I hope CBC won't mind my republishing it, word for word. It's too good not to share, and so good that it doesn't need any embellishment.

Why did the chicken cross the road? One chicken in Hamilton tried to live out the old joke. The bird was stopping drivers as it wandered into traffic on Dundas Street in Dundas Thursday morning. Passers-by pulled over and got out of their cars as the chicken ran afoul, said one of those drivers, Andru Valpy.

Valpy called the Hamilton Police non-emergency line, who put him through to animal control services after a good laugh. "I didn't catch the joke at first," he said. "Sadly, the chicken did not make it to the other side. It was trying to go from the south side of Dundas to the north side of Dundas when I found him."

Animal Control instructed Valpy to grab the chicken from the road and look after it until they arrived. Before animal services got there, he took care of it for a half hour in the parking lot of a retirement home. "One of the neighbours gave (the chicken) some seed, made sure I was taken care of and the chicken was taken care of, more importantly," he said. The chicken is now recovering in the care of Animal Control.

So, why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? The answer is not clear. The neighbour believed the chicken could have flown from a passing truck carrying chickens, said Valpy. The chicken looked like it had been clipped. "We suspect it might have flown the coop and tried to start a new life," he said.

Animal Control told Valpy that if that were the case, the chicken would be going to a much better home now. "There's no yoking about that," Valpy said.

VIDEO: Senate expense scandal so Canadian you have to laugh

Let's face it. Canada is kind of a nitwit country. So much that happens in the Not-so-white North is so ridiculous as to provoke laughter even amongst the Canucks themselves. It's no accident that some of the big stars of Hollywood comedy -- Dan Aykroyd, Rick Moranis, Michael J. Fox, the late John Candy, Eugene Levy, and Mike Myers, to mention only a few -- are Canadian. They're used to seeing the funny side of life, even of politics -- especially of politics -- which others (Hello, America!) take far too seriously.

For some months now, Canada has been convulsed (with laughter) by the trial of porcine senator Mike Duffy, who is accused of abusing his position at the deep end of the trough to claim housing allowances and other dubious expenses to which he was not entitled. But Mr. Puffy was not the only one filling his boots. His Conservative colleague Patrick Brazeau is awaiting trial, and the Mounties are about to drop the net on another Tory, Senator Pamela Wallin.

But wait (as Vince Offer would say), there's more! Last week, Canada's Auditor General Michael Ferguson delivered his highly anticipated report on questionable spending by other "honourable" ladies and gentlemen. He identified wrongful expense claims made by 30 senators, retired or still sitting, totalling just under C$1 million ($810,000 in real money).

Nine files have been referred to the RCMP for investigation and possible prosecution. The other 21 abusers of taxpayers' money have been asked politely -- it's Canada, eh! -- to pay back the money they "wrongfully took". But they have the right to dispute the AG's finding and have the matters arbitrated by a retired Supreme Court judge appointed by... wait for it... the Senate! How Canadian is that!

Even more Canadian, according to English comedian John Oliver, is the nature of some of the expenses for which Canuck taxpayers were asked to pay. Included were tickets to hockey games, trips to attend anniversary parties, and food and drink taken instead of free meals available on airline flights. In other countries, aggrieved citizens would be in the streets demanding that the VIPs be taken out and shot. [Not a bad idea. Ed.] But in Canada, taxpayers curse and cry out for abolition of the Senate, but do so with smiles on their faces. Watch John Oliver's rant and see if you don't laugh too.

"Message from God!"

I heard this on The Irrelevant Show, the funniest programme on CBC Radio -- not counting CBC Toronto's Metro Morning which doesn't mean to be funny but is so politically correct that it is funny...or not.

Please pay particular attention to the part in which God asks us to stop taking His name in vain. The Holy Name Society approves this message! So does Walt.

VIDEO: Olex caveman commercial, in ENGLISH

Ed. here. I've been in Walt's doghouse -- damn cold out there too -- for not having found the English version of the too funny "Cavemen" commercial, created by Montréal advertising agency Bleublancrouge [They've gotta be Habs fans! Poor Len] for Olex, a brand of antacid. Here it is.



And here are the credits: Creative Directors: Gaëtan Namouric, Jonathan Rouxel; Art Director: Sébastien Lafaye; Copywriters: Maxime Paiement, Crystal Béliveau.
Well done, folks!

If you want to see the French version, Hommes des cavernes, you'll find the link in "Funniest. Caveman. Commercial... Ever!", right here on WWW.

Best honorary football kickoff address ever

Have I told you about Fred C. Dobbs? Not the character in Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but the other one? [You did mention the Bard of Beamsville in "Offensive names". Ed.]

Well, OK, but I didn't explain that my funnier and more vulgar role model was the alter ego of the late Michael Magee, a part-time radio and TV personality and full-time fan of the sport of kings, based in Beamsville, Ontario. There is such a place; you'll find it by looking up your atlas.

Fred C. Dobbs's only published works are The Golden Age of B.S. (Gage, 1976) and The Platinum Age of B.S. (Van Nostrand Reinhold, 1981), both long out of print. If you're a Canadian and enjoy seeing the high and mighty get the respect they really deserve, try to find one or both books. Here's a sample.

A story I like about this country that says a lot of things is the one about the time when the good city fathers of the city of Calgary invited the mayor of Montréal, Camillion [actually Camillien. Dobbs's little joke. Ed.] Houde, to come out to Calgary and kick off the ceremonial ball at the first exhibition game of the 1949 Western Conference football season. The two teams playing was the Montréal Allouettes and the Calgary Stampeders, who was the defending Grey Cup champions....

Houde was quite a famous character. [He] was a very colourful mayor of the city of Montréal and a very sensible guy too. He just come unstuck with the General Manager of Canada, Mackenzie King, during World War II cuz he was busy going around recommending that nobody should join the Armed Forces of Canada and pledge allegiance to the King. So Mackenzie King got so sick, sore and tired of him that he had him thrown in the slammer. When he got out after the war was over there was a big civic election in Montréal and the people in their wisdom put him right back in office.

So Houde goes out to Calgary and out to the old Mewata Stadium, where they was playing their football then, and when he goes out onto the field it was just wicked. The whole joint stood up, and I guess in those days they'd be 15,000 strong, and they started yelling stuff like, "Hey, froggy, how high can you jump?" and "Hey, Houde, how was the crowbar hotel?" or "Hey, Houde, where's your striped suit?" All that kept being said, you know, by the crowd. Finally, though, the weight of their Japanese stetsons got so heavy that they sat down.

And then Houde took the microphone, which had been run out to the centre of the field where he was supposed to do the kickoff. And he says something like, "Ladies and gentlemen, I want to tell you that I really have enjoyed my visit with you here. Two days ago they took us out to Banff and we saw there scenery there and it certainly is more beautiful and more spectacular than anything that we have in the city of Montréal. Yesterday, I was walking around the downtown area and admiring how clean your city is, how orderly it is."

Houde went on, "And I admired the prettiness of the women of all ages in this city of Calgary, the wonderful expression on their faces, the joy of living that seemed to be there in their smiles. The youthfulness of the west somehow was there. And today, I just can't get over the hospitality shown me here in this stadium. All I can say is that whenever you want me to, I'd be glad to come back out here to kick your balls off."

He got a standing ovation.