From the Great No-longer-white North, one of Walt's Agents has sent some headlines which, using his crystal ball, he has seen in Canadian newspapers from the year 2030.
* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions
* White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Canada's third language
* Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being "different". Tolerance urged
* Brampton schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a burqa: Sharia law to be strictly enforced
* Japan announces that Japanese will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and workers in the scientific research fleet are unemployed. Canadian government tells Japanese squirrels taste like whalemeat.
* Canada now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of U of T says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people "saying what they think"
* Canada's deficit $20 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years -- 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf calls increased growth through more immigration the secret to success.
* Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped!
* Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels
* France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic countries. No other country volunteers to help the beleaguered nation
* Jose Manuel Rodriguez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.
* Canada Post raises price of stamps to $28 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
* Average weight of Canadian males drops to 252 lbs
* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime
* Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches
* New Liberal government law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons
* Revenue Canada sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.
American newspapers will likely feature similar headlines... only sooner!
Showing posts with label newspapers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label newspapers. Show all posts
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Where to read the news online FREE
Walt's nomination for Worst Invention of the 21st Century (so far) is the paywall. Newspapers desperate to inflate flaccid revenue streams think paywalls are wonderful, but (let us hope) the wish may be father to the thought.
We shall see. Making people pay to read crap online is still highly experimental, as the lamestream print media juggle different models of pricing and content. The San Francisco Chronicle has abandoned its test, but I am unaware of any other major market newspaper that you can read online without paying after a handful of free articles each month.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that readership of online papers goes waaaaay down after they are cloistered behind a firewall. Canada's Globe and Mail has tacitly admitted as much, and now advises would-be readers, when they reach the "free limit" that there's still plenty of stuff to read without paying. Unfortunately the "stuff" is really fluff -- lifestyle, the arts, and similar dreck that fills up space in the print edition. Nobody reads it in print and methinks no-one reads it online either -- not even for free!
It is also reported that the New York Times is building a fairly large online subscriber base. So is The Economist -- the only one Walt pays for -- but it's hard to tell in their case because you get access to the online edition as part of a package with your subscription to the print version.
Can it be that we must rely on TV "news" to find out what's going on in the world? Where can we go to read the news online without being nickel-and-dimed to death? Walt has four recommendations for you, presented in alphabetical order.
ASSOCIATED PRESS - Hey, where do you think the US (and many other countries') newspapers get their stuff from? Cut out the middleman! Best source (IMHO) for US news. Since they serve media outlets from left to right, there's not much political commentary.
BBC - That would stand for "British Broadcasting Corporation", if you're from another planet and didn't know. The website is the Internet version of the BBC World Service. Comprehensive and balanced coverage of news from everywhere, plus sports (too much soccer) and entertainment and other fluff. Best source for news from the UK. Many weird foreign language versions, including Kyrgyz, Nepali and Pashto. Where else could you find that?!
CBCnews - What the BBC is to the UK, the Canadian Broadcorping Castration is to Canada. Very good news website, not quite so "foreign" to American readers. About the only place Canucks can find lots of stories from and about the Great Not-so-white North.
Reuters - The other big source for the lamestream papers. Strong on business and finance. Click on the drop-down menu beside the "Reuters" logo at the top, and you'll find 15 (count `em, 15!) regional editions, including sites for Canada and China.
So there you go. You can unbookmark whichever print rags you've been cursing. These four news websites are all ye need.
We shall see. Making people pay to read crap online is still highly experimental, as the lamestream print media juggle different models of pricing and content. The San Francisco Chronicle has abandoned its test, but I am unaware of any other major market newspaper that you can read online without paying after a handful of free articles each month.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that readership of online papers goes waaaaay down after they are cloistered behind a firewall. Canada's Globe and Mail has tacitly admitted as much, and now advises would-be readers, when they reach the "free limit" that there's still plenty of stuff to read without paying. Unfortunately the "stuff" is really fluff -- lifestyle, the arts, and similar dreck that fills up space in the print edition. Nobody reads it in print and methinks no-one reads it online either -- not even for free!
It is also reported that the New York Times is building a fairly large online subscriber base. So is The Economist -- the only one Walt pays for -- but it's hard to tell in their case because you get access to the online edition as part of a package with your subscription to the print version.
Can it be that we must rely on TV "news" to find out what's going on in the world? Where can we go to read the news online without being nickel-and-dimed to death? Walt has four recommendations for you, presented in alphabetical order.
ASSOCIATED PRESS - Hey, where do you think the US (and many other countries') newspapers get their stuff from? Cut out the middleman! Best source (IMHO) for US news. Since they serve media outlets from left to right, there's not much political commentary.
BBC - That would stand for "British Broadcasting Corporation", if you're from another planet and didn't know. The website is the Internet version of the BBC World Service. Comprehensive and balanced coverage of news from everywhere, plus sports (too much soccer) and entertainment and other fluff. Best source for news from the UK. Many weird foreign language versions, including Kyrgyz, Nepali and Pashto. Where else could you find that?!
CBCnews - What the BBC is to the UK, the Canadian Broadcorping Castration is to Canada. Very good news website, not quite so "foreign" to American readers. About the only place Canucks can find lots of stories from and about the Great Not-so-white North.
Reuters - The other big source for the lamestream papers. Strong on business and finance. Click on the drop-down menu beside the "Reuters" logo at the top, and you'll find 15 (count `em, 15!) regional editions, including sites for Canada and China.
So there you go. You can unbookmark whichever print rags you've been cursing. These four news websites are all ye need.
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