Up to 34,000 African "refugees" to be deported...

...from Isarel. From Israel! Surely you didn't think it was going to be one of the AABC (America, Australia, Britain, Canada) countries, did you?
Only those champions of human rights, the Israelis, would have the chutzpah to send refugees and asylum-seekers back where they came from! And that's just what the government of (((Benjamin Netanyahu))) is going to do, starting this week.

On Sunday, the Israeli government started handing out notices to 20,000 male African migrants giving them two months to leave the country or risk being thrown in jail. They're being offered not just a plane ticket back to Africa, but the equivalent of $3500 in cash too. The message is clear -- take the money and go home!

There are some 34,000 African "refugees" and asylum-seekers in Israel, some of whom are seen in this picture saying "Hell no, we won't go!" [One of them seems to be upset that he didn't get his free bicycle. Ed.] Most of them came from veritable shitholes such as Sudan and Eritrea, and crossed into Israel through its porous border with Egypt prior to 2013 when Bibi erected... wait for it... a wall! (OK, it was more of a strong fence, but it did the trick. Donald Trump doubtless took note!) See "There goes the neighbourhood", WWW 10/8/12.

The Israeli government says the migrants not genuine refugees, but economic migrants, looking for work rather than asylum. Interior Minister (((Aryeh Deri))) said Israel's first obligation was to its own citizens, rather than the migrants. "They are not numbers, they are people, they are human and I am full of compassion and mercy," he told Army Radio. "But the small state of Israel cannot contain such a vast number of illegal infiltrators."

He was repeating what Prime Minister Netanyahu told his cabinet last September, that the tens of thousands of Africans who are living in Israel illegally "aren't refugees, or at least most of them aren't. Most of them are looking for jobs." He vowed, at that time, to "remove [the] illegal aliens who don’t belong here." See "All illegal aliens to be deported, government says", WWW 20/9/17.

The usual chorus of liberals and SJWs are whining that it's inhuman to send women and children to their death back in their homelands. The Israeli government insists that its deportationpolicy adheres to international law, and that people will not be sent back to Eritrea or Sudan, but to relatively safe places like Uganda. And, it adds, only men will be deported... at this time. Women, children and men with families in Israel will be allowed to stay for now, along with anyone having an unresolved claim for asylum. Nearly 15,000 asylum claims have been received. Of the 6800 requests reviewed so far, Israel has granted refugee status to 11 migrants.

Walt finds it hard to understand how so many American liberals and SJWs of the Jewish persuasion can be so vociferous in support of the DREAMers and other illegal immigrants, yet remain silent about Israel's treatment of those who have entered the Zionist entity illegally. I guess I just don't understand the principles and values of Judaism.

The Economist's snarky putdown of Bono

Unlike ageing rock star and SJW Bono, I have never been to Timbuktu, although many people, including my sainted mother, have told me to go there. Timbuktu is the fabled chief city of what was supposed to be a great African kingdom, once upon a time. Today it is more or less in the middle of Mali, one of those countries President Trump rightly described as "shitholes".

Until 1960, Mali was a part of l'Afrique Occidentale Française (French West Africa), a colony of, errr, France. As in the rest of post-colonial Africa, things started to go downhill once the French let the local people run their own railroad. I'm speaking metaphorically, as to the best of my knowledge Mali doesn't actually have a railroad any more. Half of the population is under the age of 16. The average Malian woman has six children. Barely a third of the population can read.

To make matters worse, ancient divisions of race and tribe turned into a shooting war which has heated up, cooled down, then heated up again in a vicious cycle ever since independence. Seems that the Tuareg and Arab minorities, who are concentrated in the northern part of the country don't like being ruled by black Africans. Whoda thunk it? There were major rebellions in 1963 and 1990, but the most major of all occurred in 2012, when the northern rebels went from being a secular nationalist movement into a militant Islamist insurgency.

In 2015 the warring parties signed a peace deal, which has proved meaningless. Violence has continued to escalate. Just last month, four separate attacks killed scores of people. According to an article in this week's Economist (from which the previous two paragraphs were excerpted), Mali's vast northern desert is a breeding ground for jihadism. And "insecurity", as the newspaper calls it, has spread to the central part of the country, including Timbuktu.

Reporting from Timbuktu, the anonymous writer of the article -- the Economist never runs bylines -- says, in what must be the best putdown of the year, so far: "...all is not well here.... At one time tourists used to pour into Timbuktu to ride camels across the desert. Now most of the foreigners at the airport wear army uniforms. The city has said goodbye to Bono, a rock musician who once played there. But in most other respects things have got worse."

Bravo, anonymous writer! That brilliant bit of snark puts you in the lead in the competition for Walt's prestigious Golden Finger award for 2018. Keep up the good work!

MH370 search vessel inexplicably turns off tracking system

More mystery from somewhere in the south Indian Ocean. A month ago tomorrow, Walt reported that a US company, Ocean Infinity, had sent a specially equipped vessel out from Durban, South Africa, to search again for the remains of Malaysian Airlines flight MH370, which vanished in mysterious circumstances on 8 March 2014.

Previous searches in an area to the west of the Australian coast turned up nothing. A decision to stop looking was made in December of 2016, but late last year the authorities decided to let Ocean Infinity have a go.

While the first search was in progress, debris from the Boeing 777 had washed up on the shores of South Africa, Moçambique and Réunion Island, in the southwestern part of the Indian Ocean, leading Walt and many others to suggest that the searchers would do well to look to the northeast, to the area around Diego Garcia, the site of a huge American military base. So guess where the search ship, the MV Seabed Constructor, headed? You got it! Due east, right back to the area that had already been scoured without success.

But when they reached the search area, something happened. This weekend News.com.au, an Australian news site, reported that the Seabed Constructor mysteriously switched off its Automatic Identification System (read: tracking system) near an object which the first search teams had not only spotted, but tentatively identified as the fuselage of MH370. Here's the sonar image.

What do you think, boys and girls? Does it look like the wingless body of an aircraft to you? Me either. Turns out that's now thought to be the wreck of the Peruvian transport vessel SV Inca, which vanished en route to Sydney in 1911. Picture: State Library of South Australia

THE state-of-the art vessel tasked with finding missing Malaysia Airlines flight 370 mysteriously switched off its Automatic Identification System (AIS) for more than three days, sending some observers into meltdown. But it seems the searchers decided to stop for a better look. Who knows? The sunken ship might be filled with treasure!

But was that the real reason why the search vessel "went dark" last Wednesday? Might it have just been a case of someone adjusting the AIS system settings ahead of departing for Fremantle (Australia), or was it a deliberate action because something else is going on? Is it possible that someone aboard the Seabed Constructor read Walt's advice and had another think about the proposed search area?

People following the progress of the search online have also been made with the missing plane itself. MH340 vanished from radar after its aircraft communications, addressing and reporting system (ACARS) was switched off less than an hour after taking off from Kuala Lumpur. One Reddit user commented, "Rogue captain?" Another replied, "If it starts pinging in the Malacca Strait that would be something."

Like the Indian Ocean itself, the mystery deepens. Your comments are welcome. If you know something, tell us! If you're on the landing page and have something to say, click on the headline of this post, and a comments window will open. You never know who's reading WWW!

VIDEO: What Super Bowl? Bill Burr talks about Philadelphia

So, farewell then New England Patriots. And congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles on a convincing victory in yesterday's Super Bowl LII. (You'll hear the Super Bowl and the Eagles mentioned at about the 8-minute mark of this video.) I should have bet. Poor Len tells me that everyone, everyone on RDS was calling Patriots by 3 or more. But I would have had to bet on (and cheer for) Philthydelphia, and, to be honest, I've never liked that city or any of its sports teams. Never.

I am not alone. Bill Burr doesn't think much of Philadelphia either, as he makes clear in this rant, recorded in 2006 when he and many of the regular comedians of The Opie & Anthony Show were on The Traveling Virus Comedy Tour, hitting large venues around the USA. Things went south when the tour came to the Philadelphia area -- actually The Tweeter Center across the river in Camden, NJ. Right from the get-go, the crowd set the tone by booing the first comedian off the stage and then proceeded to give hell to all other comedians on the bill.

When Dom Irrera was booed off the stage, Mr Burr followed him and decided to go on the offensive. He spent his entire set picking apart everything about the city -- its food, its sports teams, its icons -- all while receiving boos from the audience. But he didn't let the crowd get him, and kept hammering the audience until some started to turn in his favour. By the time the 12-minute set (counting down every passing minute) was over, much of the crowd gave the comedian a standing ovation. He replied by telling them, "Go fuck yourselves in your own assholes."

WARNING: This video is not for snowflakes! It contains offensive language, including the seven words you can't say on TV (RIP George Carlin) and many many more. If you're the type who starts clutching your pearls when someone says (see above), don't even think about clicking the start button.

"Prophets" use dwarf to con credulous African man out of $7000

Note from Ed.: Walt still hasn't been heard from, but I hate to leave this space empty on Superbowl Sunday, when some of our readers will undoubtedly be looking for alt-entertainment. So here's a true story from Zimbabwe, in the southern part of Darkest Africa. Some people who live there, like our old friend Dr CZ, admit that it's a shithole. (Not that it's the only one.) But others say that under its new dictator, Zimbabwe is a modern, progressive democracy, full of educated and industrious people, with a prosperous future ahead of it, once they get past some old customs and superstitions. Like the belief in witchcraft, illustrated by this account from today's Zimbabwe Standard.

Three suspected fake prophets allegedly brought a midget to a family in Emakhandeni, Bulawayo and lied to the family that the dwarf was the goblin which was responsible for their son's mental illness. The con artists convinced the family to part with $7000 to cleanse the boy. This case was brought before the courts following the arrest of one of the conmen and was heard by Bulawayo magistrate Nyaradzo Ringisayi. Godfrey Manyoka (30) was being charged with fraud and was remanded out of custody on $200 bail.

The court was told that between October 21 and 31 last year, Manyoka and his two accomplices, who are still at large, went to Khumbulani Mkhwananzi's house in Emakhandeni. The trio allegedly connived to misrepresent to the complainant that they were genuine prophets able to conduct prayers as well as cleansing ceremonies to heal his son who has a mental illness.

The suspects on October 21 allegedly planted weird objects in Mkwananzi's yard to convince him there were evil things brought by witches resulting in the child’s illness. It is alleged that they further lied that there was a tokoloshi [= goblin. Ed.] living in the complainant's house ceiling which contributed to the child's illness.

On October 23, they brought with them a dwarf who was completely naked and they claimed he was actually a goblin, known in the local vernacular as a "tokoloshi". Mkhwananzi remained outside the house while the three entered the house. The "tokoloshi" started talking from outside threatening to kill the boy if it is not paid with 20 herd of cattle by Mkhwananzi. The "tokoloshi" said it wanted the cattle delivered to its homestead in Chipinge while the three were busy praying inside talking to it.

Mkhwananzi was made to believe that the utterance by the purported tokoloshi was genuine. Mkwananzi was charged $7000 by the fake prophets to purchase 20 cattle in Chipinge for the tokoloshi. On October 24 Mkhwananzi gave the three conmen $5000 while $375 was transferred into the accused persons' EcoCash account as payment towards the purchase of 20 cattle in Chipinge and transport for the three to go to Chipinge as per instruction of the "tokoloshi".

He also made a transfer of $2050 into EcoCash account of Esinath Nyambo, one of the suspects who is still at large to settle the balance for payment of the 20 cattle. After the payment the three did not go to Chipinge. Through this misrepresentation they swindled Mkhwananzi of $7351 and nothing was recovered. A report was made to the police leading to Manyoka's arrest.

That's the end of the report. Such stories are not unusual in that part of the world. No wonder so many Africans want to emigrate to the UK or the USA or any Western country where tokoloshis are unknown... or almost....

Credit where credit is due: The excellent drawing of a river goblin was lifted from "Crapsack Goblin Game Idea", by Jeff Russell, in his blog Blessings of the Dice Gods.

Superbowl weekend

Note from Ed.: I never knew Walt to be a big football fan, but that's the excuse he's given me for taking this weekend off. He is out of town, it seems, for there are no tracks leading to or from his cabin in the pines. But where's Walto? Answer have I none. Surely there's no truth to rumours that he has been out protesting the Islamization of our country.

Noooo.... Although Walt might well agree with the sentiment expressed on the sign this concerned citizen is holding, he (Walt) is not the type to stand outside in the cold for more than about 45 seconds. Perhaps on Monday he will tell us what he's been doing.

Arizona State U workshop on masturbation has been renamed

Arizona State University is nothing if not progressive -- more so than you would expect, being in Arizona and all. They have a wide variety of programmes, courses, seminars and special events, including a workshop coming up on February 13th.

"Go Love Yourself" is a workshop on the art and science of masturbation, originally titled "Go Fuck Yourself". The event will cover topics of sexual self-gratification such as, errr, masturbation. It will feature a training session from Natalie Treacy, who is described in the Facebook posting for the workshop as a "pleasure professional".

The full text of the FB page reads as follows: "Getting in touch with yourself by touching yourself. Join pleasure professional Natalie Treacy for a shame-free, pleasure focused discussion about masturbation and self exploration to get the pleasure you want and deserve."

The event is part of the ASU undergraduate student government's series on the topic of sexuality in recent history. Last November, they organized a lecture titled "The Sex Ed You Deserve" in co-operation with the Ontario Ministry of Education. [Ed., please check that before posting. There's going to be an election in Ontario in the spring and I wouldn't want to slur Kathleen Wynne's government by suggesting that they are deliberately teaching autoeroticism and other progressive perversions.] In addition to these events, they hired a Director of Sexual Wellbeing to oversee all matters relating to sexuality on campus. Now, there's a job for you. Wonder how many thousand applicants they had?

But wait (as Vince Offer used to say), there's more! In addition to the Director of Sexual Wellbeing, the Arizona State student government has announced plans to create another advisory position -- the Director of Intimacy and Healthy Relationships, who will oversee issues of intimacy and healthy relationships on campus.

This a joke, right? Satire created by The People's Cube? Not at all! Doubters are welcome to consult the student government's website, which claims that the director's active participation in discussions surrounding sexuality will help prevent sexual violence on campus. "By bridging the gap between sexual assault and other topics such as gender identity, birth control, or STI prevention and testing, we have the power to positively affect intimacy on our campus," is what the blurb says. You couldn't make this stuff up.

Note from Ed.: This announcement is presented by Walt Whiteman's World as a public service. If the picture accompanying this message is not the Natalie Treacy, we apologize, and will delete it just as soon as the facilitator send us her photo. I'm still looking into the involvement of the Ontario Ministry of Education, though.