"Prophets" use dwarf to con credulous African man out of $7000

Note from Ed.: Walt still hasn't been heard from, but I hate to leave this space empty on Superbowl Sunday, when some of our readers will undoubtedly be looking for alt-entertainment. So here's a true story from Zimbabwe, in the southern part of Darkest Africa. Some people who live there, like our old friend Dr CZ, admit that it's a shithole. (Not that it's the only one.) But others say that under its new dictator, Zimbabwe is a modern, progressive democracy, full of educated and industrious people, with a prosperous future ahead of it, once they get past some old customs and superstitions. Like the belief in witchcraft, illustrated by this account from today's Zimbabwe Standard.

Three suspected fake prophets allegedly brought a midget to a family in Emakhandeni, Bulawayo and lied to the family that the dwarf was the goblin which was responsible for their son's mental illness. The con artists convinced the family to part with $7000 to cleanse the boy. This case was brought before the courts following the arrest of one of the conmen and was heard by Bulawayo magistrate Nyaradzo Ringisayi. Godfrey Manyoka (30) was being charged with fraud and was remanded out of custody on $200 bail.

The court was told that between October 21 and 31 last year, Manyoka and his two accomplices, who are still at large, went to Khumbulani Mkhwananzi's house in Emakhandeni. The trio allegedly connived to misrepresent to the complainant that they were genuine prophets able to conduct prayers as well as cleansing ceremonies to heal his son who has a mental illness.

The suspects on October 21 allegedly planted weird objects in Mkwananzi's yard to convince him there were evil things brought by witches resulting in the child’s illness. It is alleged that they further lied that there was a tokoloshi [= goblin. Ed.] living in the complainant's house ceiling which contributed to the child's illness.

On October 23, they brought with them a dwarf who was completely naked and they claimed he was actually a goblin, known in the local vernacular as a "tokoloshi". Mkhwananzi remained outside the house while the three entered the house. The "tokoloshi" started talking from outside threatening to kill the boy if it is not paid with 20 herd of cattle by Mkhwananzi. The "tokoloshi" said it wanted the cattle delivered to its homestead in Chipinge while the three were busy praying inside talking to it.

Mkhwananzi was made to believe that the utterance by the purported tokoloshi was genuine. Mkwananzi was charged $7000 by the fake prophets to purchase 20 cattle in Chipinge for the tokoloshi. On October 24 Mkhwananzi gave the three conmen $5000 while $375 was transferred into the accused persons' EcoCash account as payment towards the purchase of 20 cattle in Chipinge and transport for the three to go to Chipinge as per instruction of the "tokoloshi".

He also made a transfer of $2050 into EcoCash account of Esinath Nyambo, one of the suspects who is still at large to settle the balance for payment of the 20 cattle. After the payment the three did not go to Chipinge. Through this misrepresentation they swindled Mkhwananzi of $7351 and nothing was recovered. A report was made to the police leading to Manyoka's arrest.

That's the end of the report. Such stories are not unusual in that part of the world. No wonder so many Africans want to emigrate to the UK or the USA or any Western country where tokoloshis are unknown... or almost....

Credit where credit is due: The excellent drawing of a river goblin was lifted from "Crapsack Goblin Game Idea", by Jeff Russell, in his blog Blessings of the Dice Gods.

Mugabe not a "goblin", sez Chief Justice of Zimbabwe

One of these critters is a goblin. The other one...isn't. So says the Honourable Godfrey Chidyausiku, Chief Justice of Zimbabwe, in a statement on the case against former Nyanga North Member of Parliamet Douglas Mwonzora, who stands accused of labelling President Robert Mugabe a “goblin” during a rally held in Nyanga in 2009.

The judge wanted Zimbabwe's state prosecutors to explain whether it was constitutional for the State to prosecute politicians for calling the Head of State "Gamatox"* or "weevil" while addressing political rallies.

"Politicians call each other names such as weevils and Gamatox, are you suggesting that you prosecute people for that?" Mr. Justice Chidyausiku asked.

"If somebody calls the President a weevil or Gamatox, are you going to prosecute that person? It is part of the trade of politics. Why are you bringing such matters to the Constitutional Court? The President is not a goblin and we all know that. Why should the law bother itself about it? You have to be an imbecile to believe that the President is a goblin."

But, the State prosecutor replied, Mr. Mwonzora’s labelled the Head of State a goblin which "feeds on human blood". (Walt can't tell what's on the plate in the picture, but it doesn't look like blood.)

"The statement causes ridicule to the President who is viewed as a monster, bad person who causes problems and feeds on human blood," the prosecutor went on. "This is why the State insists that the statement constitutes an offence."

However, counsel for the accused argued, Mr. Mwonzora’s statements did not constitute an offence, but were subjective and meaningless since Mugabe was not a goblin.

In the same speech, Mr. Mwonzora is alleged to have castigated Comrade Bob's alleged bad governance, thieving, arrest of innocent individuals and the seizure of their property. The State prosecutor has chosen not to focus on that part.

* "Gamatox" is the brand name of an insecticide sold in Zimbabwe.