Poor Len Canayen and I watched last night’s vice-presidential debate between Senator J.D. Vance and Governor Tim Walz, and I want you to know we gave up a pretty scrappy game between the Habs and the Ottawa Senators to do so. We were hoping for a good scrap between J.D. and Mr Awalz, but were surprised when it turned out to be a pretty good -- and reasonably cordial -- debate.
No knock-out punches were thrown. There wasn't even a little light sparring. In fact, issues and ideas were put forward, some concessions were made, and a certain level of agreement was reached on a couple of topics. My overall impression was that these candidates for the second-highest office in the Excited States of America looked and sounded far more worthy than the two we saw last month.
Some of you are going to hate me for this [As if you care. Ed.] but I want to start with appearances. Elections aren't supposed to be beauty contests, eh, but people do make judgments like "He looks like the kind of guy you could have a beer with" or "I just can't see him/her as [fill in office]."
Tampon Tim, with his jowls and wide mouth turned down at the corners, reminds me of Rugor Nass, the boss of the underwater kingdom of Otoh Gunga, in the first episode of Star Wars. Sorry. Senator Vance, with his square jaw, neatly trimmed beard and perfect-but-not-too-perfect hair, is straight out of Central Casting.
OK, forget about that. Once you stopped looking and started listening, the match became more even. The two men spent more time attacking the other's running mate than each other during 90-plus minutes. Governor Walz had a shaky start but hit his stride when talking about abortion and the so-called "Capitol riot". Overall, though, Senator Vance came off as the better-prepared and more polished public speaker. The consensus of even the lickspittle media is that he was the winner in a relatively clean and friendly contest.
Both candidates tried to portray themselves as down-home boys. (Arentcha sick and tired of "I was raised in a middle-class family."?) Mr Walz, with all his talk of "my farmers" and "we grow corn and soybeans", over-egged the custard. Mr Vance did better with his stories of the problems of his family and other real people that will be remembered from his book.
Senator Vance seemed much more comfortable. His answers were smooth, and relentlessly on-message, constantly reminding the audience that for all of Vice-President Harris's promises, Democrats have held the White House for the past three and a half years and have done next to nothing about the problems which the Cackler now says she has a plan to fix. "If Kamala Harris has such great plans for how to address middle class problems," he said, "then she ought to do them now."
If Senator Vance was picked because he puts ideological meat on the bones of President Trump's conservative populism, on Tuesday night he put a polite, humble face on them, as well. One of his better lines was, "Something these guys do is they make a lot of claims about if Donald Trump becomes president, all of these terrible consequences are going to ensue. But in reality, Donald Trump was president. Inflation was low. Take-home pay was higher."
It wasn't long before the CBS wimmin moderators violated their own rules and started in fact-checking Mr Vance. At one point, the microphones of both candidates were temporarily muted.
But for the most part, the exchanges on stage were even-tempered. Indeed, there were several moments when the two men agreed on issues, if not on how the issues should be dealt with. Toward the end, Gov. Walz said, "There’s a lot of commonality here."
There was, however, an unpleasant moment when Timmy said the only reason Mike Pence was not at the podium occupied by Senator Vance was that he certified President Joe Biden’s victory, for which Republicans wanted to hang him! Mr Vance missed a golden opportunity to reply that the only reason Mr Walz was the Democratic candidate is that Ms Harris didn't want a Jew as a running mate, for fear of blowing [Geddit? Ed.] the Arab-Muslim vote.
That said, Mr Walz showed some of the mid-western charm -- he knows which end of the straw to put in his mouth -- that the Dimocrats hope will counter the Cackler's California brass. He didn't do the Dems any harm.
Senator Vance's strong showing is likely to convince a lot of those precious undecided voters, and boost Republicans polling numbers in the days ahead. Moreover, his polished and relatable performance may well convince members of the GOP that the junior senator from Ohio -- two decades younger than Timmy -- has a future in national conservative politics, no matter what happens on the Day of Reckoning. Ed. is already composing a headline on the theme of "Vance ascendant".
In conclusion, I'll repeat what I wrote about 24 hours ago. When you vote, you're electing not just a president, but the person who will succeed her/him in the event of his/her death. Which of these men would you trust to sit in the Oval Office, with his hands on the levers of power? Well???
