The Ant & The Grasshopper - Canadian version

A reader has passsed along an updated Canadian version of the Aesop fable. 

Old Version: 

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. 

Modern Canadian Version: 

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. 

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. CBC, CTV and Global show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. 

The Globe and Mail does a feature story. Canada is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on CBC News with Adrienne Arsenault. along with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

People Against Poverty stage a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We Shall Overcome". Then Justin Trudeau has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake. Chrystia Freeland condemns the ant and blames former Prime Minister Harper, Former Premiers Jason Kenney, Brad Wall and Cristy Clark and Conrad Black for the Grasshopper's' plight. 

Justin Trudeau and Jagmeet Singh explain in an interview with Rosemary Barton that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. 

Finally, the Liberal/NDP coalition drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs, not consulting with First Nations, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes; his home is confiscated by the government's Green Czar, Stephen Guilbeault, and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his freeloading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it. 

The ant has disappeared in the snow never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize and ramshackle the once prosperous and peaceful neighbourhood. The entire nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it. 

Moral of the story: Be careful how you vote in the next election, because you are an ant! You may wish to pass this on to other ants, but don't bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn't understand it anyway.

Note from Ed. to our American readers: You can easily adapt this cautionary tale to the American politico-economic situation. Just subsitute, for the Canuch lickspittle media named, CNN, NBC, CBS, etc. For Justin Trudeau and Stephen Harper, read Joe Biden and Donald Trump. And for Liberal/NDP coalition, read Democrats and Bernie Sanders. I should have posted this before the mid-terms, since some  American ants appear not to have got the message and are still voting for the grasshoppers.  

How the impeachment process is supposed to work

Ed. here. We no sooner posted "After years sitting on the pot, Pelosi finally...", in which Walt intimated that his understanding of the impeachment process was less than perfect, when Agent 3 passed along a guide to how the process works, by Alexandra Mae Jones, on the CTV News website. We trust Ms Jones and CTV will not mind our reposting the main part of her concise and lucid explanation.

What is impeachment?

Impeachment is the process to remove an official, and is enshrined in the U.S. Constitution. It can happen at the state or federal level. In the case of impeaching a sitting president, the House of Representatives can call for impeachment to begin if they believe that the president is guilty of “treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors,” according to the Constitution.

There is no specific definition of a “high crime” included in the Constitution, but the concept is essentially aimed at preventing corruption by high-level officials. Although impeachment involves a trial, it’s not a criminal process, merely one to remove an official from office. Criminal charges being brought against an individual is a separate matter.

How does it happen?

An individual member of the House could simply introduce an impeachment resolution like any other bill, which would then be reviewed by a committee, likely the House Judiciary Committee. Or the House Judiciary Committee can first hold their own investigation and bring articles of impeachment against the president, and present that evidence to the House. (“Articles of impeachment” simply refers to the charges against a president).

The next step would be for the evidence to be presented before the House for a vote. House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler has declared previously that his committee has already been conducting impeachment hearings, but the panel has been unable to get many key witnesses and documents from the Trump administration.

Ultimately, the full House votes on whether or not to impeach. A majority vote is needed for the impeachment to pass. If the House passes a vote to impeach, it doesn’t mean the president gets removed immediately. The case then moves to the Senate, where a trial is held.

The House appoints members to act as prosecutors in the Senate. The president would have defense lawyers to defend him. The chief justice of the Supreme Court would preside over the Senate trial. It comes down to a final Senate vote. At least two thirds of the Senate needs to vote to impeach in order for the motion to pass.

If impeachment is successful, the president would be immediately removed from office, and the vice president would take over until an election.

How often has impeachment been successful?

No sitting president has been removed from office due to impeachment so far, although impeachment proceedings have been brought against three different presidents.

Andrew Johnson in 1868 and Bill Clinton in 1998 both were ultimately acquitted and allowed to complete their presidential terms. Richard Nixon resigned in 1974 when impeachment proceedings were brought against him for his role in the Watergate scandal, preventing the House from impeaching him.

What is Jagmeet Singh saying?

Jagmeet Singh is fighting his first general election as leader of Canada's Not-so-new Democratic Party. The socialists (for that's what they are) are struggling to hold onto third place in the polls, facing a serious challenge [seriously? Ed.] from the loonier left Green Party.

Mr Singh was in Toronto this morning, where he promised to put a cap on the amount telecoms could charge long-suffering Canucks for cellphone and internet service. Not that it matters, because the NDP has two chances of forming the next government -- slim and none. Anyhoo, following his speech, the turbanned tribune fielded some questions from the press. Adrian Wyld, of Canadian Press, snapped this photo.

Said photo appeared with the story on the CTV News website, around lunchtime (EDT). It also appeared on the CBC News website, where it remained for about 40 seconds before being taken down and replaced with a stock shot. Maybe the picture has a hidden meaning that Walt didn't get? What does that emoticon mean anyway? Answers on the back of a postage stamp, please, to the usual address.

How Canuck lamestream media "whitewash" news of black crime

There was another shooting in northwest Toronto last night. Gangbangers are a real menace in certain parts of "Toronto the Good", which is fast becoming a world-class city, like, errr, Chicago. 95% of the time, the victims are black and so are the perps. Everyone who watches the local newscasts knows it -- just watch the videos of bodies, alive and dead, being wheeled away from the scene on gurneys -- but the (((controlled media))) are deliberately colour-blind on that point.

Particularly reluctant to admit that black crime is a serious problem in the "Greater Toronto Area" is Canada's state-owned broadcaster, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, and its flagship TV station, CBLT. Here's a screen grab of how CBC News reported last night's "incident".

Contrast the last sentence of the text with Inspector Knacker's tweet, immediately below. Notice the missing word in the CBC's suspect description? You might think "independent" media would be a little more honest and realistic, but now that they are to receive some C$650,000,000 from the Liberal government because, as everyone knows, the media are struggling financially, they are being even more circumspect than the CBC. The CBC's biggest rival, CTV, didn't give any suspect information at all!

Further reading: "'Project Kraken' proves Greater Toronto a really multicultural city", WWW 29/6/19.

Canada's CTV - all the news that fits

Canada's Auditor General, responsible for oversight of the federal government's operations, released some reports today which shone some harsh light on the substandard performances and "challenges" faced by a number of government departments and agencies. Here are six of the AG's findings.

A — Half of the 16 million people who called federal call centres last year couldn't get through. Instead of giving callers the option of waiting, some centres sent them back to the automated phone system, directed them to a website or told them to call back later.

B — Even after having to pay a fine of C$550,000 (nearly $410,000 in real money) for a Labour Code conviction related to the death of three Mounties five years ago, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police is unsure if all of its officers have access to the rifles and body armour needed to respond to an active shooter. Apparently Canada's national police force mismanaged the purchase, distribution and ongoing maintenance of semi-automatic rifles known as carbines.

C — Canada’s refugee-determination system is unable to process claims on time despite reforms introduced seven years ago. The "asylum-seeker" (= illegal border crosser) caseload faces a mounting backlog, with a processing system that has chronic delays and lax criminality checks. The AG projects that if the number of new asylum claimants remains steady at around 50,000 per year (!), by 2024 the wait time for decisions will increase to five years, more than double what it is now.

D — The Canadian sales-tax system failed to keep up with the rapidly evolving digital marketplace, with the result that C169 million of Goods and Service Tax on foreign products and services sold in Canada in 2017 went uncollected. In addition, the federal government could not assess and collect all sales taxes on e-commerce transactions.

E — Public funds might be supporting partisan advertising due to a lack of adequate controls. Only government advertising valued at $500,000 or more is reviewed by an independent body, even though less expensive campaigns could represent a risk of partisanship. [No kidding. Ed.]

F — The National Museum of Science and Technology houses a large portion of its collection in leased storage facilities, along with many objects that have yet to be assessed or catalogued. Poor conditions in these spaces pose risks of deterioration, damage and theft.

Walt has not attempted to rank these items in order of importance, but readers will certainly guess which one I think is most significant. I think most Canadians would agree that Canada's porous border -- 50,000 illegals crossing every year, with the RCMP able to do no more than carry their bags and direct them towards the welfare office -- is the problem most in need of immediate attention.

My question for today: Which two (only) did Canada's CTV News think worthy of inclusion in its midday TV newscast? Answer: A & B. Maybe there wasn't enough time for the others, although nearly five minutes was devoted to the latest baby produced by the British royals. Funny though. Item C was mentioned prominently in other lamestream media, even the state-owned Canadian Broadcorping Castration (CBC).

In "Auditor General report more evidence of a Liberal government more taken with grand visions than actual governing", Postmedia's John Ivison writes:

In at least two cases, the problems are less a matter of neglect than the direct consequence of weak and wrong-headed decisions. Let's take the report in order of egregiousness — from clown-car policy to the merely careless. It will come as no surprise that the Liberal government's inept handling of the asylum seeker issue has had an effect similar to closing Highway 401 in rush-hour: system gridlock....

While there is clearly a bureaucratic logjam, the real blame lies in government policy. The Liberals created the problem because getting tough with refugees was not on-brand — even when it became clear that the lax Canadian system was being played by economic migrants flying into the U.S. from countries like Nigeria.

John Ivison was once a regular panelist on CTV's Sunday morning Question Period snorefest. No more. Comments like Mr Ivison's clearly do not fit the liberal narrative. And liberal bias is just as much the foundation of CTV's editorial policies as those of the CBC. The difference is that the CBC gets paid directly by the Liberal government, whereas CTV does not. But wait... The recent federal budget set aside some C$650 million for subsidies to Canada's struggling "independent" media. Guess which media will be at the head of the line.

VIDEOS: Robber splits after storekeeper hits him with bananas

This is not a promo for CBC's egregiously unfunny sitcom Kim's Convenience. This is real footage of an attempted robbery which occurred Saturday evening at a convenience store in Mississauga ON. The holdup was foiled when the wife of the storeowner -- a Korean, surprisingly enough -- hit the would-be thief -- possibly white, possibly not -- with a bunch of bananas, forcing him to flee.

CTV's Nick Dixon [Really? Not "Dick" Dixon? Ed.] has the story.



The storeowners were unhurt. The would-be thief may, like the bananas, have a couple of bruises. Inspector Knacker of the Peel Police [not making this up. Ed.] said the intruder did not have a gun, but warned retail workers not to confront suspects as, you never know, they could be armed with a gun... or maybe a banana of their own. What do you do then?! John Cleese and the Monty Python group demonstrate the proper technique for dealing with such a situation.

Canada's liberal propagandists to get $600 million reward

First the funny stuff. Today, on its Toronto page, CTV News has a story headed "Police issue arrest warrant for suspect in violent attack on teen girl and her mother". (The suspect's name is Harry -- originally Hari -- Rajkumar. Can you say "Diversity is our strength!", boys and girls?) Here's a screen grab of the suspect description.

Evidently CTV, like the rest of the Canuck meeja, can't afford proofreaders any more. That Canadian newspapers and even TV networks are struggling is not news. Even the state-run (and taxpayer-funded!) CBC is crying stinking fish, laying off "workers" (but not execs, of course) and begging for (a) subscriptions and (b) government handouts.

The gentlemen and ladies (and those who aren't sure) of the fifth estate got their wish for (b) on Thursday when the gliberal government of Prime Minister Just In Trudeau announced, in its fall budget statement, that it would dole out C$600 million ($450 million in real money) to publishers and joournalists, to keep such organs as the Toronto Star from having to lay off more staff or even close its doors for good. Good news for the ink-stained wretches, not so good for taxpayers.

The problem is greater than a mere 600 mill added to Canada's soaring deficit. As Postmedia's Andrew Coyne points out (to his credit), in "Liberals' $600M aid package for news media will irrevocably politicize the press", it is hard not to see the massive handout as a less-than-subtle attempt to buy off what's left of the independent press, and co-opt them into the liberal/Liberal propaganda machine... as if the dominance of the CBC and the Red Star weren't bad enough.

But (I hear you ask), didn't the government say that the recipients of the pieces of silver would be determined by an "independent panel of journalists"? Oh yes... a panel chosen by the government in the same way and for the same reasons as the "independent" senators now being packed into the Red Chamber. Mr Coyne writes, "I don’t actually think the government will appoint a group of card-carrying Liberal hacks to this 'independent panel.' They won’t need to."

Indeed. Walt predicts that those appointed to the "independent" panel will be reliably "progressive" journalists of a pinkish hue, like CBC propagandists Rosemary Barton, Paul Hunter and Keith Boag, and CTV's Evan Solomon. Not appointed will be Rex Murphy, Ezra Levant, Mark Steyn and Gavin McInnes. Lifetime pct .989.

"To hell with it," mr Coyne concludes. "To hell with all of it. No newspaper publisher should have anything to do with this plan. And no journalist worthy of the name should go anywhere near that accursed panel."

Further viewing: "Trudeau gives $595M to media — but The Rebel isn't for sale", video by The Rebel's Ezra Levant. Running time 7:25.

VIDEO: Is Trump funny? SNL alumnus Norm Macdonald answers

Norman Gene Macdonald, better known as Norm Macdonald, is a Canadian stand-up comedian, writer, producer, actor and all-round funny guy, eh! (Why so many of these funny guys are Canucks is one of the Great Mysteries of the North.) He is known for his five seasons as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, which included three years as anchor of the "Weekend Update" segment. Early in his career, he wrote for the sitcom Roseanne and made appearances on shows including The Drew Carey Show and NewsRadio. He starred in The Norm Show from 1999 to 2001. Paste named him #31 of their 50 Best Stand-up Comics of All Time.

Norm has a brother, Neil Macdonald, an arch anti-Trumper and all-round liberal who masquerades as a journalist with CBC News. I wanted to find out if Norm shared his brother's gene for progressive bullshit, so tuned in to an interview he gave to Joyce Napier on rival CTV's Question Period earlier today. Turns out Norm has a better opinion of President Trump than does brother Neil, and shares Walt's opinion of Hellery Clinton. He has comments, too, on the Prez and Alec Baldwin's unfunny impression of President Trump. Give a listen.



Note from Poor Len Canayen: I trust that all you hockey fans noticed the CH on Norm's cap.

UPDATED: Your Islamic terrorists today

Just a few days ago Walt lamented that "incidents" (not "incidences") of Islamic terrorism are becoming a daily occurrence. For the last couple of days I've been commenting on the London killings, but between Saturday and this morning there have been a couple of other attacks, which I report just to show that you're not safe in any Western city. There could be a Muslim fanatic in your neighbourhood... yes, yours... right now. Watch yourself, eh.

A Toronto woman appeared in court this morning, charged after a suspect masked with an ISIS bandana -- or maybe it was a hijab or niqab -- allegedly swung a golf club at employees of one of Canada's ubiquitous Canadian Tire stores, while screaming "Allahu akbar!" This happened on Saturday afternoon (EDT), at the same time the Islamic terrorist rampage was unfolding on London Bridge.

The woman was restrained by several employees [Using the handyman's secret weapon, duct tape? Ed.] who allegedly found a knife on her. Ms Rehab Dughmosh, 32, is facing seven charges including two counts of assault with a weapon, two counts of possession of a weapon, threaten death or bodily harm, and carrying a concealed weapon. If convicted she will doubtless be sent to a rehab clinic.

UPDATE: The drawing above appeared a few minutes ago on the CTV Toronto website. CTV, which is almost as politically correct as the state-owned CBC, never uses the word "Islamic" or any variant when talking about terror attacks. In their version of this story, the suspect is not named. Instead, they say "A court list posted at College Park courthouse Monday indicates that a suspect with the same name as the woman arrested will appear in court today." Cryptic, eh! But notice that their drawing shows a woman (?) in a hijab -- OK, two women in hijabs -- not an "ISIS bandana". One of the women may be Rehab Dughmosh. Or maybe not.

Also today, around 1630 local time, an assailant -- unidentified so far, for reasons of political correctness -- attacked police with a hammer outside Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. The French Interior Minister (responsible for police, security and keeping an eye on Muslims) says the attacker cried "It's for Syria" as he went after officers patrolling an esplanade in front of the famous landmark. Why he would have yelled in English is unclear.

The attacker was shot and wounded in the incident. One flic was wounded. The Interior Minister said police found kitchen knives, a hammer and other unsophisticated weapons on the wounded assailant. The investigation into the matter is being led by Inspector Jacques Clouseau, who formerly handled a serious case involving a busker and his muenkey.

More media illiteracy - CTV Toronto

One of Walt's pet peeves is the steadily decreasing standard of literacy in the lamestream media. You would think that those who describe themselves as communications professionals would strive to use proper English in presenting the "news", even if it costs them a bit of money to employ competent editors, sub-editors and proofreaders. You would be wrong.

It may be, though, that lack of money for professional help is the problem at Canada's CTV network. Here's a screen shot of a page that appeared on the Toronto flagship station's website this morning.

Cringeworthy, isn't it? But remember, these folks are smarter than you are. That's why they feel themselves qualified to tell you how to vote, even how to think.

Note from Ed.: I am available for hire, willing to relocate. Require salary just a trifle higher than what I get from Walt. A dollar a day plus expenses should do it. Offers to the usual address.

Who controls the lamestream media?

It's been a quiet week here in Lake Woebegon. [I think Garrison Keillor has the copyright on that line! Ed.] OK... It's been a quiet week here in the woods next to Lake Mudge. [That's better... Ed.] Kinda noisy in the rest of the world -- Palestine/Israel, Syria/Iraq, Africa and Ukraine -- but Walt can't think of anything witty to say about those wars/insurrections/jihads.

Checking the lamestream meeja for items of interest, I noticed that Canada's CTV News Channel has an Internet icon that they might want to redesign. As it is, it confirms our suspicions about whose hands pull the strings of the meat puppets. Told ya so!

Note from Ed.: We did not PhotoShop or crop that image to make it looks as it does. That's how it appears on the screen, on the CTV website.

P.K. can't be trusted on the P.K.!

The first "P.K." stands for Pernell Karl Subban, Norris Trophy-winning defenceman (?) and resident hotdog with the Montréal Canadiens. The second "P.K." stands for "Penalty Kill", which is what you have to do when a member of your team is sitting in the sin bin. That's when you want a defenceman who can actually play defence. Which (as we pointed out last week) is what the first P.K. can't do.

Sadly, P.K. can't be trusted on the Power Play [Just skip the initials. Ed.] either. We learned that this afternoon, when the Canadiens (a.k.a. the Kids from Montréal, pictured) hosted the Tampa Bay Lightning (a.k.a. the Bolts -- much better name for a hockey team) au Centre Bell in Canada's most exciting city.

It wasn't much of a game for the first period. Both teams seemed intent on a bit of a siesta. With no score several minutes into the second stanza [Sounding like a sports writer, Len! Ed.] it seemed as if the first goal would be the winner. Then TB took a penalty and the Habs went on the (occasionally) deadly power play. What happened then was terrible to behold.

On the power play, Subban and whoever's stuck with him on defence are supposed to play on the points, meaning just inside either end of the opposition's blue line. Even with the man advantage, the two defencemen may still have to make a defensive play -- for instance, stopping the opposition from clearing the puck over the blue line and out of their zone. P.K. does that about, errr, half the time.

On this occasion, as a result of being in deep rather than close to the blue line, Subban saw the puck go by him, with two TB players chasing it, and only his defence partner skating furiously backward. The defensive play, one on two, is for the defenceman to take the opposition player closest to him and let the goalie -- the estimable Carey Price -- face the other one. It would have worked this time too had P.K. not decided to stick his stick in between the TB player and Price, to stop the shot (see?) as if Price couldn't do so on his own.

Sadly, the shot hit P.K.'s stick right on the tape and caromed past Price's outstretched hand. Advantage Tampa Bay! Goat horns to Subban!

Today's question: Why is P.K. Subban immune from criticism when, as happens too often, he makes a mistake and then compounds it trying to recover? Could it be because he's, errr, black -- one of the few black players in the NHL and the only one ever to play for Montréal.

Yeah, could be. Whatever the reason, only the play-by-play commentators on RDS (the French-language channel) mentioned Subban's habit of making decisions that cause coaches to tear their hair out. That he scored an own goal was not talked about at all on the CBC telecast. The sportscast during the CTV evening news showed the Montréal goal which tied the game, and Tampa Bay's overtime game-winner. But the first goal, deflected by P.K. into his own net? Not shown. Nothing. Rien.

In fact, Subban's sub-par performances have been quietly overlooked ever since he was named to Canada's Olympic hockey team in spite of his reputation for being defensively "risky". If anyone has noticed that Habs coach Michel Therrien never plays P.K. on the P.K. -- and how could his absence not have been noticed -- they keep silent about it.

Eight defencemen have been chosen for the Canadian Olympic team. But coach Mike Babcock doesn't have to play or even dress all eight. Canadians who want their team to win should hope that political correctness doesn't force Babcock to trust P.K. to defend against some of the best players in the rest of the world.