Some people think that Justin Trudeau, aka Mr Socks/Blackie McBlackface/Emperor Trudeau II, is Canada's head of state. Except in his own mind, he is not. Under Canada's constitution, the head of state is the foreigner pictured on the left as she welcomes her diverse daughter-in-law to Buckingham Palace.
Since Her Royal Highness, Elizabeth II, Defender of the Faith, Queen of Great Britain etc etc -- for that is her name and part of her title -- does not live in the Great No-longer-white North [and who can blame her? Ed.], she appoints (in theory) a representative known as the Governor General/ gouverneur général. [In Canada, they say everything twice. Ed.]
Being "G-G" is a pretty good gig. You get a hefty salary, unlimited expense account, fancy uniforms, a nice car (with driver), and an RCMP security detail to follow you on horseback when you go jogging around Rideau Hall, the mini-castle in Ottawa which you get to live in, all paid for by the Canadian sheeple. Giggity! [Um... you're thinking of another fictional character. Ed.]
But how do you get to be Governor General? Do they advertise the job? Where do you send your résumé? That, dear reader, is the $64 ($50 in real money) question! The process by which a Governor General is chosen is cloaked in secrecy. Certain liberal elites talk in hushed tones at conclaves and soirées at Ennui-on-the-Rideau (Canada's capital) until a name "emerges" which the Prime Minister (currently Mr Socks) then recommends to the Queen.
The previous PM, Steve Harpoon, thought the process should be a little more clear, if not totally transparent, so he put in place a selection committee whose recommendation he accepted. That was the Rt. Hon. David Johnston, who served for seven years until 2017, and was widely esteemed as courteous, courtly and bland enough to be perfect for the job.
When it came time to nominate a successor, the committee started to look at several possible candidates. The only constraint was that the new G-G be a francophone (French-speaking), since the tradition since 1952 has been to alternate between francophones and anglophones. And latterly, in the interests of diversity and gender parity, it was obvious that the next G-G had to be a woman.
While the committee was considering its options, the arch-feminist Blackie McBlackface, all by himself, came up with a candidate whose "wow factor" was such that no further search was required. Indeed, Julie Payette, a former astronaut, was so obviously the only one for the job that her other qualifications and employment history need not be checked... at all! What could go wrong?
The answer: plenty! Ms Payette was born into the liberal elite. She was raised in Montréal’s toney Ahuntsic neighborhood, where she attended private schools before being chosen to attend the prestigious United World College of the Atlantic in Wales. There, she completed an International Baccalaureate diploma.
On her return to Canada, Ms Payette studied engineering at McGill University, graduating with B.A.Sc. in electrical engineering in the mid-1980s before obtaining a M.A.Sc. in computer engineering at the University of Toronto in 1990.
Just two years later, Payette was hand-picked by a committee -- which included former astronaut and current (Liberal) Foreign Affairs Minister Marc Garneau -- to become an astronaut at the Canadian Space Agency. And go into orbit she did, with Americans, of course.
She spoke both French and English. She could get by in Spanish, Italian, Russian and German, and she was the recipient of a whopping 28 honourary degrees. She is also a member of the Order of Canada as well as the Ordre national du Québec. On top of all that, she plays piano and has sung in multiple orchestras. How's that for "wow factor"?!
But Julie Payette ran into trouble when she came down from heavens into the real world. The Queen's signature was barely dry on the parchment of her appointment as Governor General when reports began to emerge of incidents in her personal life and past that chipped away at the perfect image portrayed on paper.
In 2001, it was revealed, she had a second-degree assault charge expunged from her police record. The incident happened while she was living in Maryland. The "alleged" victim was her then-husband William "Billie" Flynn, a retired Air Force pilot. The couple became uncoupled shortly thereafter.
Just one day after news of the expunged assault charge emerged, the Toronto Red Star reported that Ms Payette was involved in a "no-fault" fatal car accident in July 2011, in which a woman -- a pedestrian -- was killed. Mr Socks wouldn't confirm whether the two incidents had come up during the so-called vetting process. Holding back a tear, M Trudeau told the meeja "Obviously, our heart goes out to the family affected by this tragic accident. It was a terrible and tragic thing and we know that Mme Payette actually personally reached out to share her condolences with the family subsequent to the accident."
But wait, there's more. In 2013 Ms Payette landed a plum job as Director of the National Science Centre in Montreal, in spite of never having worked for that organization or in any similar capacity. She left that position "voluntarily" in October of 2016, a fact reported at the time by the Montreal Gazoo, which surely must have been known to whoever vetted Ms Payette's nomination. What they may not have known is that she was given a golden parachute of roughly C$200,000 to go away, following complaints about her treatment of employees.
But wait, there's still more. After leaving the Science Centre, Ms Payette was named to the Canadian Olympic Committe. She lasted there just under a year, leaving in 2017, not long before her appointment as the Queen's surrogate, after two internal investigations into her imperious treatment of staff.
Apparently verbal harassment and general bitchiness is Ms Payette's style, for that's what led to her abrupt departure from Rideau Hall. In July of this year, a CBC News report quoted a dozen confidential public servants and former employees who claim the Governor General belittled, berated and publicly humiliated Rideau Hall staff.
She was also said to have been unhelpful to her RCMP security guards, running away from them while out jogging around the grounds. [Maybe she just needed to take a leak? Ed.] Maclean's magazine reported that, for two years in a row, Payette's office at Rideau Hall ranked among the worst in the public service for harassment complaints. An annual government survey conducted last year showed 22% of respondents working for Rideau Hall claimed to have experienced harassment. Of those employees, 74% attributed the harassment to individuals with authority over them.
M Trudeau is now facing renewed criticism over his approach to choosing Ms Payette for the job. He persists in saying that the "vetting process was followed", but won't answer questions about how the red flags outlined above were, errr, overlooked. Ms Payette blames her personal secretary, a "dear friend" who she brought with her to Rideau to supplant a professional snivel servant. And, says the ex-GG, "different people experience things differently."
Haven't Canadians heard that before? Do Canadians care? Will they punish Mr McBlackface for making yet another bad book club selection? Don't bet on it. Lifetime pct .981.
